Ky Kz'lx

[The Flickering Flame]

(More or less him, excluding the blaster, and he's a bit smaller)

Name: Ky Kz'lx
Race: Verpine
Age: 12
Height: 5' 4"
Weight: 79 lbs
Gender: Hermaphrodite (male personality)
Appearance: Ky has a bright green exoskeleton and dark, blue-black eyes. His antennae stick out from the back of his head, and he is a very slim. However, he is disproportionally strong compared to his body, as he is insectoid. He has digigrade legs, and three digits on his hands, and two on his feet. Ky usually wears only a pair of brown Jedi pauldrons and a belt, and generally carries around a leather satchel full of odds and ends.
Birth place: Roche Asteroid Facilities
Personality: Moderately shy, rather conserved. He views mammalian species as "alien" and is still not really used to living with more or less only humans and their genetic offshoots. Ky is deathly terrified of enclosed spaces- he's claustrophobic.

Faction: Jedi Order
Rank: Padawan

Bio: Ky was born on the asteroid-city of Kai'kan in the Roche asteroids, the current home of the Verpine species. His family was a group of fine mechanics, much like many of his species. Like most Verpine, his parents had an aptitude for technology, and, being their third child, he was the least noticed- his older brother was the most promising, at the time. Ky's sister was incredible at taking care of communications technology, just like her mother.

The insect-like being was regarded as one of the cutest Verpine that most non-Verpine had seen, because he was only a baby. The insectoid infant didn't tinker with tech like his siblings, and his parents grew worried. Very worried. But a passing Jedi who had been sent to the region, and searched out the Force Presence he felt- Ky. The Jedi wanted to take him to the temple. His parents chose to keep him around for about six more months, then handing him in to the Jedi Order when they traveled to Coruscant to deliver a newly-fixed starship to a wealthy merchant.

Ky was brought in at age three, a youngling. He seemed very, very normal- except for the fact that he, being a Verpine, had strength and speed very disproprotionate to his size. That was in his favor. The little alien could do physical feats far beyond any mammalian child of the same age, mastering many acrobatic moves by the age of seven. What did he do from ages three to seven? Mostly work with Jedi Padawans sent to help Younglings in the fitness areas. In fact, he might have spent too much time there- he only discovered that there was an Archive in the Temple at age nine. And then, he didn't read very well. But when he did- which took over three years to learn- a disgrace to a Verpine to take so long. But he released his intellect, and began to virtually eat his way through books.

Ky began to use a lightsaber when he began to learn the Force.. He was very, very clumsy at first- luckily, it was only a training saber. But he eventually became marginally effective in weilding a very basic form, and slowly got better. The Verpine wishes to specialize in Ataru.

By age eleven, he was beginning to tinker with various bits of scrap components, piecing together communicaition devices for fun- they didn't necessarily work, though. Success was rare. A valuable lesson for the Verpine. Ky began to become desperate at age eleven, in the hopes he could be apprenticed. He was already eleven, and hadn't been chosen to be a Padawan.

He now recently turned twelve, and upon reaching this age, he has begun to work on harder fitness routines, as his species matures more rapidly than humans or near-humans.

He has recently been taken in as a Padawan by the Jedi Knight Aserada "Aser" Mirathuralis.



Lightsaber:
Color: Emerald green

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho: 2
Makashi: 0
Soresu: 0
Ataru: 0
Shien / Djem So: 0
>>Sub-form Backhanded: 0
Niman: 0
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield: 0
Juyo: 0
Double Bladed Combat: 0

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 1
Telepathic: 1
Body: 2
Sense: 2
Protection: 1
Healing: 1
Destruction: 0

Specialized Skills: Mechanics

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 3
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 5
Leadership: 2

Unarmed: 2
Melee Weapons: 3
Ranged Weapons: 1

Force Attunement: 3


RP Sample:


Ky looked curiously at the white orb. It was... well, alien. The slim insect looked at the deactivated droid intently, and then sat up. He cracked his knuckles, which an unnerving sound with an exoskeleton. The green Verpine picked up a thin plasma slicer, lowering it to the broken droid. Ky gazed intetly as he burned a hole in the practice droid.

He inserted his thin, long fingers into the droid, probing, feeling the components, and forming a flawless image in his mind. The Verpine youngling pulled his hand out, and picked up a small, delicate tool, and inserted it into the broken droid. A slight twist of his arm, and he heard a pop. The young Jedi pulled his hand out slowly, and in the strange device was a shattered power source. That was the problem.

Ky reached into his leather satchel, taking out a generic power module. This would do. The Verpine, again using the delicate-looking device, inserted the new power module into the training droid. He heard a small click, and he slowly rearranged several of the wires inside the droid. All of a sudden, it hummed to life, and began to float into the air. Irritated, Ky quickly shut it off via the remote. The young Verpine caught it as it fell, and held the square plate to the droid, using the plasma slicer to fuse the plate back on. Then, he turned it on again. It hovered to life, and Ky allowed himself the Verpine equivalent of a smug smile. Today, this green insect was successful.

[Dutch]

Ok, definitely have some stuff for me to go over.

Appearance: Well, I know I'd like to see some more detail about how he looks. What does he wear mostly? What behaviors does he exhibit? How does he hold himself?

Bio: Well, you have a good base I'd say, just a few things. One, is more detail, the bio felt kinda rushed to me. Another thing is, a backflip at 5? I highly doubt that, same with the wall run thing. I'm sure there might be more, just some things I noticed.

Lightsaber forms: I'd say it's pretty good, though I dunno if Meira will let you have that one point in Ataru, up to her.

Force Attributes: Ok, this is definitely way off. Your Jedi has way too much skill in too many fields. 18 points for a youngling is way too many. I'd say choose two things, and put points in them. For example, I see your sense is high, that's fine, but to have close to points in 3 other abilities, that's a no-no. choose one to give three, then have 0's in the rest for now.

Skills: Mechanics is fine, but what's with the plant ability?

Attributes: Ok, here is where I was looking forward to biting into. Your attributes are way, way too high. A tiny verpine would not have a 6 in strength, my Master has a 3 in physical strength. Intel and speed again are at godly levels, your youngling can not be at this level. And they'd have no real leadership, as a youngling, never having a need for this.

** You could have some skills you listed approved, if you said in your bio how they learned them**

Aligment: A youngling is, well, young. They wouldn't know where their stance in life is at such a young age really. I'd say a 2-3 would be better.

Rp Sample: Well, first of all, a Youngling would not know of Sith right now, and I don't think there are any Sith Troopers atm... But otherwise I'd say it was a little too short, a little lackluster with detail, and also, I don't think a youngling could fight like Yoda

[The Flickering Flame]

Okay... I edited most of it, save the RP sample. I steadfastly refuse to edit that, because I never stated anywhere in the bio that in the sample, Ky was a Youngling. I included Sith Troopers because I don't know any generic enemies from this timeline. It's a Role Play sample, not a current plot post.

[Jenno]

Just a little clarification for you since you state you don't know what body is in terms of Force Powers, this is basically where the Force is used in some way to affect one's body, making them faster or stronger or allowing them to jump higher. This is often used by those who are more skilled with lightsaber combat or combat in general.

As for the Force stats it seems odd that a Youngling at 12 would have a 0 in anything other than Destruction (they don't teach this). As they teach all the other aspects of the Force at the temple your character would have at least a one in telepathic and healing techniques. And in truth you could probably bump a one up to a two, maybe even bump two of them to a two.

For his age I'd have said to raise the Shii-Cho to a three, but if he only started at 10, I think 2 might even be a little generous. You see they start practicing with a training saber at the same time that they learn how to use the force (well, maybe a little bit after they first start, but pretty early on). They all use training sabers, a youngling doesn't have a real lightsaber and they don't make one until they're taken on as a padawan.

So yea, you may want to change that in the bio. And if that's the case and you want Ky to be good with a saber then you might consider pushing it up to three. But that is only if you want him to become a guardian I'd have thought.

Hope that helps some.

~Jenno

[The Flickering Flame]

Edited. But I find it funny that, after almost over-powering him, I seriously under-power him. =P

[randy]

Jul 28, 2009 9:16:52 GMT -5 The Flickering Flame said:

Edited. But I find it funny that, after almost over-powering him, I seriously under-power him. =P

Your character seems a little to old to be a young ling, usually padawans are chosen around ages 10-13. If you get a master by age 13 you get moved into service corps, so I recommend changing your characters age, and lower the intelligence.

[The Flickering Flame]

Jul 28, 2009 13:42:55 GMT -5 @randy said:

Jul 28, 2009 9:16:52 GMT -5 The Flickering Flame said:

Edited. But I find it funny that, after almost over-powering him, I seriously under-power him. =P

Your character seems a little to old to be a young ling, usually padawans are chosen around ages 10-13. If you get a master by age 13 you get moved into service corps, so I recommend changing your characters age, and lower the intelligence.

Well, my point is that I want a character that I actually want to play. I don't want to play some eight year-old. And he'll get a master... eventually. He'll get one before he's thirteen. And why should I lower the intelligence? If you look up the Verpine, they're incredibly intelligent, and I don't want a dumb bug. Besides, it's only a seven- five is average, ten is brilliant. He's only a seven.

[Kella]

Actually... 7 is not an average stat.

And thus concludes my segway! roffle. ;D Hey there. Verpines are awesome; can't wait to see this guy in action. Thus being said... here we go. ;D

~~~

Appearance:

1. "Ky usually wears a tight suit of light metal armor of a bronze hue, covered partially by brown Jedi pauldrons and a belt."
Eh, I usually don't pick at little details... but this was a little detail my inner Jedi-geek just couldn't leave alone. X) Jedi really try to stay away from armor; it has a tendency to get in the way of their mobility. Ky would be even less likely to have armor, A) because he's a Verpine and already has a pretty tough exoskeleton, and B) He's still just a youngling, and he's just at the temple, so he doesn't need any protection.
/Jedi-Geek-Rant-moment. xD

~~~

Bio:

2. "Then, the little green bug telekinetically threw a piece of scrap metal at his most irritating uncle."
I totally get what you're going for, and it made me chuckle, but unfortunately, without training he wouldn't be able to fling much of anything. This especially considering the fact that he showed no specialization in telekinesis later. As fun as it is to have toddlers lobbing scrap metal at annoying people... yeah, well, it's just not practical. X) However, all hope is not lost...
My personal recommendation: Keep the bit about him being an odd child. Pensive, thoughtful, withdrawn, not one to tinker. Perhaps his parents were just at a loss. Once on Coruscant, the Jedi would be quick to pick up on his force-sensitivity. After all, the Jedi are all over Coruscant. Of course, you can take it in a different direction, if you'd like.

~~~

Stats:

3. "Ataru: 1"
Usually, Youngling doesn't start learning any specific forms until they're taken by a master. I'd guess there are exceptions, but I don't really think this is one of them. It might be alright though. I dunno. xD Which means I'm going to recommend taking it down to a 0, and leaving in the part about him wanting to study Ataru. But you're welcome to wait for Meira's judgment.

4. "Attributes: ?"
Noticed your question mark here. ;D 'Attributes' is just a general category, which things like strength and range fall under. No number expected.

5. "Intelligence: 7"
Yup, this is too high. X) See the scale at the bottom of my post for reference as to what each of the stats signify. Here, I'd recommend a 6. Yes, Verpines are intelligent, but mostly mechanically. They're bright with machines, yes, but there aren't dazzling when matched against some of the other races, like Arkanians.
And *cough* In case a certain person is reading...
Arkanians > Verpines.
xD But that's irrelevant. Hm, anyway, you won't be able to have a 7 unless you specifically and adequately describe the reasons in-bio. Save yourself some work, and go for the 6. 's all about how you RP it, anyway. ;D

6. "Force Attunement: 3"
Hmmm... while there's nothing wrong with this, per se... I'd definitely recommend dropping it down to a 2. Sure, he's been raised in the Jedi temple, but that just means he knows the right things to say. "The ethical man knows what is right, the moral man does what is right." Younglings know ethics. Thus being said, a 1 or a 2 would be much more appropriate, because his loyalty hasn't been tested yet.

~~~


7. RP Sample:
Again, nothing wrong here, per se. However, I would like to say that the intent an RP sample is to show how you would RP this character on this site. Thus being said, you are applying for a youngling, and therefore need no RP sample. So it doesn't really matter, just as long as you don't over-power him in-RP.


~~~

You're off to a great start! I love the idea of a Verpine Jedi. ;D A little bit of work, and a little bit of polishing, and you'll be golden in no time. (And a touch of cooperation helps everyone. )
I wish you a speedy approval!


~~~

Guide to Stat Values:

0: No knowledge. Blaster, what's a blaster?

1-2: Very limited understanding. You know what it is, the textbook definition, and nothing more.

3-4: Below average. Very rudimentary understanding.

5-6: Average, with 6 being slightly above.

~All stats 7 and above need specific and adequate explanation in-bio.~

7: Above average. Signifies a broad understanding, and a solid ability. A character was most likely specifically taught the skill.

8: An expert stat. Reserved for those who know a great deal about the subject. Usually, a maximum of one 8 in any grouping of stats is recommended.

9: The best in the galaxy. They've learned everything there is to learn. Heck, they could write a book. And probably have. You can usually only get away with one. Recommended for experienced RPers.

10: God-like, and consequentially, not allowed. Under any circumstances. Unless you're Jenno.[/size]

[The Flickering Flame]

Okay... I modified him. But I do think that losing the signature light armor was a bit of a loss to individuality... But hey, I edited it out anyway.

Oh, and I changed the sample. I know it's unnecessary, but I did so anyway. It's now him repairing a broken Temple Training Droid.

[The Flickering Flame]

So.. Is he accepted? Or is he still bad?

[Meira]

While it is a loss to individuality, you must remember that individuality is not a trait entirely supported by the Jedi. While they recognize the importance of the individual, they also recognize that service to the galaxy as a whole is far more important. The only time one might ever even see a Jedi wearing armor is during times of war. Seeing as how this site has a nice war in the lineup, maybe you'll get a chance to incorporate some armor later on! Just some food for thought.

Now, I'm going to go ahead and approve, but you'll need to lower Shii-Cho to a 2 please. I'll move it to the accepted section anyways though, because that one thing is not worth making you wait.

[Jenno]

It has been over a month since this user was last active.

Moved profile to Inactive.