Post by Sporky on Mar 24, 2010 21:47:35 GMT -5
Exactly what it says on the tin, folks.
I've been playing through Mass Effect (1) for the past few days. And it's made me think. What would (My view of) the average gamer think of it? So much story and talking? So I've decided to start this thread up. I'm gonna write short, mostly bashing "reviews" of popular games from the viewpoint of what -I- think is the stereotypical gamer.
Now then.
"so ive bought this game called mass effect. it takes place in space so i thought itd be cool. like halo 3. shooting aliens. so i popped it in and then BAM. all this..character creation crap. like wtf do i care what the guy looks like? as long as he kills stuff. and then this class crap? like..what? certain classes can only use certain weapons.........the dumbest thing ive ever seen. apart from furries lol. so i pcked a soldier cuz there cool and can use heavy armor and all guns. THEN theres all this talking. BORING!!!!11one like i care whats happening or why im shooting stuff. i just wanna shoot guns at aliens. so stuff happens and then this one guy gets pwned by a lame little turret lol. i nearly crapped my pants laughing. and then this smoking hot chicks comes up and joins me. sweet. maybe i can get laid for saving her. blah bah blah good aliens die and then stuff happens and then MORE talking. then they put me in some...place with all kinds of aliens i CANT shoot!! wtf!! if there are aliens they should be shot. so then i turned the game off and threw it away. so my opinion? a stupid waste of a game. too much talking. not enough killing. who cares why ur shooting stuff. just shoot it! AND NO ONLINE MULTIPLAYER?!?!?!?! wtf!!! who plays games by themselves?! stupid.... dont buy this game. buy call of duty or halo 3"
..Eck. xD;; I feel unclean.
Noob Review 2: Electric Boogaloo
"so i just bought this game called the force unleashed. its like...star wars. i heard of that. something in space or something. whatever. an exfriend told me about it. lol. i hate him now. i think im gonna tell his mom about his stash. but anyway. so i popped the game in and started to play. okay. cool. it starts you off as this black guy with bad asma. and your killing furries lmao. always fun. but the stupid thing is hes got some kinda red beam sword or something. stupid..theres guns all around. just kill someone and take there gun. but then he fights this guy with a blue sword. its weird. why doesnt he just punch the guy in the face. so thats over and then im this other guy with another red laser sword. like wat...seems the only guys smart enough to pick up a gun just die..okay...swords suck. just pick up a gun and shoot a guy in the face. that sword in halo 3 is okay...but nothings better than a gun. so i through that game away too. like i said..buy a real game. buy call of duty or halo. only losers play games by themselves."
I've been playing through Mass Effect (1) for the past few days. And it's made me think. What would (My view of) the average gamer think of it? So much story and talking? So I've decided to start this thread up. I'm gonna write short, mostly bashing "reviews" of popular games from the viewpoint of what -I- think is the stereotypical gamer.
Now then.
"so ive bought this game called mass effect. it takes place in space so i thought itd be cool. like halo 3. shooting aliens. so i popped it in and then BAM. all this..character creation crap. like wtf do i care what the guy looks like? as long as he kills stuff. and then this class crap? like..what? certain classes can only use certain weapons.........the dumbest thing ive ever seen. apart from furries lol. so i pcked a soldier cuz there cool and can use heavy armor and all guns. THEN theres all this talking. BORING!!!!11one like i care whats happening or why im shooting stuff. i just wanna shoot guns at aliens. so stuff happens and then this one guy gets pwned by a lame little turret lol. i nearly crapped my pants laughing. and then this smoking hot chicks comes up and joins me. sweet. maybe i can get laid for saving her. blah bah blah good aliens die and then stuff happens and then MORE talking. then they put me in some...place with all kinds of aliens i CANT shoot!! wtf!! if there are aliens they should be shot. so then i turned the game off and threw it away. so my opinion? a stupid waste of a game. too much talking. not enough killing. who cares why ur shooting stuff. just shoot it! AND NO ONLINE MULTIPLAYER?!?!?!?! wtf!!! who plays games by themselves?! stupid.... dont buy this game. buy call of duty or halo 3"
..Eck. xD;; I feel unclean.
Noob Review 2: Electric Boogaloo
"so i just bought this game called the force unleashed. its like...star wars. i heard of that. something in space or something. whatever. an exfriend told me about it. lol. i hate him now. i think im gonna tell his mom about his stash. but anyway. so i popped the game in and started to play. okay. cool. it starts you off as this black guy with bad asma. and your killing furries lmao. always fun. but the stupid thing is hes got some kinda red beam sword or something. stupid..theres guns all around. just kill someone and take there gun. but then he fights this guy with a blue sword. its weird. why doesnt he just punch the guy in the face. so thats over and then im this other guy with another red laser sword. like wat...seems the only guys smart enough to pick up a gun just die..okay...swords suck. just pick up a gun and shoot a guy in the face. that sword in halo 3 is okay...but nothings better than a gun. so i through that game away too. like i said..buy a real game. buy call of duty or halo. only losers play games by themselves."