Kovor Ixlin

[salix]

Faction: Republic
Department: Army
Rank: Private

Name: Kovor Ixlin (pronounced co-vore icks-lin)
Race: Herglic
Age: 18
Height: 9'1"
Weight: 320lbs
Birth place: Giju

Appearance: By Herglic standards Kovor is petite, but as far as the average species is concerned he's massive. Like any other Herglic he has difficulty getting through human sized doorways - though less than usual - towers over almost anyone and is three times as broad, his shoulder width being just shy of four feet. He is also extremely muscular. His skin is a mid-tone blue with white frecks and his eyes are large and pitch black.
As per clothing, Kovor wears the closest to a Republic uniform a Herglic can get. It consists of a red tank top and black trousers with large boots and a jacket that is black with red outlines and has plate of armour built into it. It doesn't fit Kovor properly so he'll often wear it unbuttoned.

Personality: Coming from a community where he is by far the smallest, Kovor is lacking in confidence. He's easy to intimidate and does what he's told. When made nervous he even develops a stutter. However, he is a very nice and friendly person who likes getting to know people. He is sometimes clumsy and foolish but performs well under pressure.

Skills: None to speak of.

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 9
Intelligence: 5
Speed: 4
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 7
Melee Weapons: 5
Ranged Weapons: 6

Alignment: +2

Bio: Kovor was born on Giju, the Herglic home world, and is the youngest of three sons. The other two, along with every male in their line as far back as is know, joined the military. Unfortunately for Kovor, or pod Ko as he is affectionately known, he was too short to join the Herglic military, but we'll get to that later. During his childhood he was always the butt of the jokes but was never severely bullied due to his two elder brothers who were both huge. He was brought up by a military father and wasn't overly intelligent, but not stupid, so he found school difficult. He knew masses of information about Herglic weaponry and star ships but knew very little about anything else. Still he managed to get through school and when he came of age applied to join the Herglic military. As previously mentioned he was too small for this. He was very upset and his family was disappointed but still supportive of him. They suggested he become a mechanic or a medic or some other useful sector of the army, but Kovor wouldn't settle for them.
Eventually he found a solution and, with the support of his family behind him, he joined the Republic Forces.
Training was hard in some ways and easy in others. Being Herglic the physical sides were much easier, meaning his drill Sergeant came down much harder on him, but even then he managed to do well. It was the emotional side that Ko struggled with most. He broke down into tears more than once but two thirds of the way into his training his drill Sergeant had molded him into something better. Truth be told he was very proud of Kovor.
And so Kovor graduated and became Pvt. Ixlin.

Password: Kylah
RP Sample: It had been a hard time for Kovor. After being rejected from the army he was having a hard time seeing how he could fit in in life. He may not have been cut out for the military, but it was all his family did and all he wanted to do. He wanted to do his father proud.
Since Giju was in the Gelactic Republic there was a recruitment station on the planet. However, they didn't get many Heglic recruits, so it was mostly just a military base. There weren't even that many Herglic soldiers there either. In addition it wasn't anywhere near Kovor and his family lived, so he had to spend five hours on a transport to get there. His family left him at the station. Both his parents and one brother - the other away on duty - were seeing him off. His parents both knew well this feeling. It was entirely possible that they may never see him again and they all knew it.
After the journey Kovor find his way through the city - which wasn't too big - until he reached the military base. And that was where his new life began.

[Rugs]

Alright salix, sorry it took me so long to get to this, but here I am. Let's see what we've got, shall we?

Stats look alright for the most part. I was a bit wary of the 9 at first, but I'll let you keep it, considering the fact that he's a giant land whale... thing. Unarmed should come down to a 7, with either melee or ranged dropped to 5. And, from reading the bio, it seems like a 5 might be more fitting for intelligence, since, though you say he's got a knack for knowledge about his species' weapons and ships, he seems to struggle with most everything else. A 6 implies above average intelligence in general, not just in one specific area. Make senese?

The bio, for the most part, is ok, though there's not much to it. There are a few things within it you could expand upon. For example, you could give an example or two of the time when his brothers bullied him, to show what he went through. You could also expand a bit on his training in the military, and on his emotional struggles. Things like that. I'm not saying you have to go write out a novel or anything of the sort, but I am going ask for a bit more detail.


And, actually, the RP sample seems more like something that would go in the bio, to be truthful. I don't think it would at all be bad if you wanted to take that and put it in there. Of course, then you'd have to come up with another RP sample, so...

Anyway, reply again when changes are made and I'll come back around

[salix]

I am wholly against RP samples in bios and am often turned away from a forum by their presence in the template. I really do not see the point.

The other changes were made.

[Twysper]

Herro Salix! ^^

I are be Twysper, just stopping in here for a second to try and help out. x)

The RP sample is something that allows the rest of the forum to see your abilities as a writer; how you'll play the character you've just created. That's why the RP sample is there. x)

But I'm pretty sure what Rugs was saying was that the RP sample you have written is in such a style that it fits more in the biography of the character then as his RP sample.

So lemme go a step farther and try to demonstrate...


"Eventually he found a solution and, with the support of his family behind him, he joined the Republic Forces. Since Giju was in the Galactic Republic there was a recruitment station on the planet. However, they didn't get many Heglic recruits, so it was mostly just a military base. There weren't even that many Herglic soldiers there either. In addition it wasn't anywhere near Kovor and his family lived, so he had to spend five hours on a transport to get there. His family left him at the station. Both his parents and one brother - the other away on duty - were seeing him off. His parents both knew well this feeling. It was entirely possible that they may never see him again and they all knew it.
After the journey Kovor find his way through the city - which wasn't too big - until he reached the military base. And that was where his new life began." attached to "Training was hard in some ways and easy in others. Being Herglic the physical sides were much easier, meaning his drill Sergeant came down much harder on him, but even then he managed to do well. It was the emotional side that Ko struggled with most. He broke down into tears more than once but two thirds of the way into his training his drill Sergeant had molded him into something better. Truth be told he was very proud of Kovor.

And so Kovor graduated and became Pvt. Ixlin."

limegreen = what you had in the bio already

aquablue = what I moved from the RP sample

It seems to flow better in some format similar to this, and would help make your bio slightly more substantial, though as mentioned by Rugs, you'd have to write a new RP sample. (Pretend you're writing a post for a thread with Kovor.) xD

[salix]

But it doesn't test my RP skills. It's tests my creative writing skills which have already been tested by the character personality, appearance and history. To accurately test my RP skills I'd have to actually RP with someone else. Kind of tricky in a character profile.
With that in mind I've left it how it was.

[somedude]

For what it's worth (not much, I know), I somewhat disagree.

I think you're right in that the RP sample tests your creative writing, much like the rest of the application, but I would argue that the RP sample more specifically tests your in-character creative writing skills.

Everybody's different, but for me I know that when I'm RPing with someone, given the choice between "he did this" and "he did this, while thinking this", I much prefer the latter/ The former gets the job done, but it's a less interesting read and it's not as much fun to reply to (in my opinion). I feel like the RP sample is where you can show the mods that you can write like that.

Again, that's just my own two cents.

[Vex]

Roleplay is creative writing. The RP sample is a gauge to see how you would intend to play out the personality that you've created.

For example, if you start a thread, you have no one to roleplay with yet, as you are the originator. You still need to write and you don't have the ability to respond to play already written.

I can be told about someone's characteristics: Loyal, gregarious, inquisitive, etc...but until I SEE them first-hand, you don't really know how a person acts. That RP sample is the board's method of a first impression.

[Rugs]

But I'm pretty sure what Rugs was saying was that the RP sample you have written is in such a style that it fits more in the biography of the character then as his RP sample.

Pretty much. It's written more in the style of what I'd expect to see in a bio, not an RP post. Because, as things currently stand, I don't really see how the RP sample is an example of how you'd RP the character, which is what the RP sample is for, no? Instead it just reads like a section of your bio that you took and expanded upon, hence my suggestion for taking it and splicing it into the bio, in order to make things a bit smoother. In addition, I'm very much in the same camp as somedude, in that, usually, I write, and look for, things that are a bit more detailed in RP Samples/posts. Again, I'm not saying it has to be long, but things like "Character did action x/thought x/said x," rather than a general overview of events that have already been covered in the bio. Or, were you going to cover something in the bio, you could do it in more detail, i.e., a conversation with someone in the base, a brief look into some of his training, stuff like that.

And you still need to expand a bit in the bio, as I've asked you to do previously.

[Jazen]

Too bad he can't bring stuff from somewhere else to use as the rp sample.

Sal man, I know you don't like the idea, but things run a little differently here is all. Give it shot, its not like it will hurt to try right?

Alright, that's all I gonna say. I leave this to the right people now. -poofs-

[salix]

Oh but it would hurt. It would hurt my pride.

But no, I've decided to make the changes. It's just a case of getting 'round to it. Need to be in the zone. And by in the zone I mean bothered. Can be difficult motivating ones self to do something you don't want to. But I'll get 'round to it. Some day.

[Rugs]

Your wonderful attitude is appreciated x)

Anyway, when/if you adjust things, let me know and I'll come back around

[salix]

Yeah, this can be deleted. I'm not coming back to this.

[Rugs]

As you wish. Though, as a protocol thing, we don't really delete apps, so I'll just do as normal and move it to inactive incomplete, as I do with the others.