Nex Morsus

[Nex Morsus]

Character Name: Nex Morsus
Character Source: SWU Accepted
Character Faction/Alignment: Dark Jedi
Type of Roleplay: Skirmish/duel (Either one, or one then the other)
Roleplay Requirements: Prefer standard troopers led by a bounty hunter for skirmish and a Jedi (Padawan or young Knight) for duel
Reason for Request: I feel rusty. Been forever since I forum RP'ed and I need to get back into the flow of things.
Notes: Nex is fresh off of approval and never used so if his personality/style changes during the RP it's because I'm still settling into it and fleshing out the little details.
Roleplay:
Nar Shadaa, by the Force he hated Nar Shadaa. So many people, always staring at him, at his scarred, mutilated body. He wanted to hurt them, to make them all look like he did. Every fiber of him wanted to ravage their soft, smooth, flawless bodies with fire and lightning. To poor all his suffering into them and revel in their screams. He'd been like them once, normal, smooth skin, hair, walking around without so much as the slightest twinge of pain. Now he was hideous. Scarred and horrible, a creature to give children nightmares.

A slight crackling noise awakened Nex from his musings. He clenched his fist, pulling his arm up into his sleeve, and gave a nonchalant glance around. The pure, burning, intoxicating hatred that the sight of these normal people instilled in him had reflexively been called into Force Lightning. Luckily, no more than a few arcs between his fingers had manifested, and if he was lucky, no one would have noticed, and for the most part, it seemed no one did.

Feeling exposed out in the open walkways of the city, Nex ducked inside the nearest cantina, cloak billowing about him like black smoke as he swiftly, if forcefully, pushed past the other patrons. Their surprised looks of disgust and indignation both exhilarated and infuriated him. He reveled in the fear and loathing directed towards him, the tiny seeds of corruption that his mere presence could place in the mind and soul. Yet at the same time, the rage within him burned behind his eyes.

His head grew hot, muscles tensing as his thoughts raced with violence. Images of dismembered bodies, people running and screaming in fear, the white hot crackle of Force lightning forcing them to their knees before him like a god. A god...yes if he unleashed his wrath, the supernova of fury billowing inside him, he would be like a god among ants!

A growl escaped his throat, one of few sounds he could easily make without the assistance of his vocal amplifier. As much as he hated to do so, Nex shoved his way through the crowd, his anger boiling more each time he felt the soft silky skin of another being, and sat down at a booth to clear his mind. Anger was his ally, and hatred his companion, but both had to be tempered. It was a lesson that his masters had taught him well. Though they brought him power, his emotions had to be kept under control until the time was right. Unleash too soon, or in a crowded place such as this, and the consequences could be disastrous. Powerful though the Dark Side was, Nex knew he stood no chance against the seemingly endless horde of police, bounty hunters, thugs, and armed civilians looking to play hero that Nar Shadaa could throw at him.

So, with reluctance, Nex suppressed his violent urges and ordered a drink from the passing Twi'lek waitress. The Dark Jedi wasn't even sure what he had ordered, so focused had Nex been on calming himself. The next few moments were a battle, his emotions tried to claw to the surface, to ravage the pathetic excuses for life in front of him like wild animals. Slowly, he regained control, though the concentration required elicited a bead of sweat from his wrinkled forehead.

It would not have been so hard to control himself, but the young Dark Jedi Knight had not been having a productive week. It had, in fact, been quite the opposite. The target of the assassination contract that he had taken on for Narbda the Hutt had escaped by hiring bounty hunters to ambush Nex just outside his room, giving the Rodian scum ball time to leave aboard his ship and make the jump to light speed while Nex barely managed to escape the over half dozen bounty hunters.

With no way to track the target's jump destination, Nex had been forced to report the mission a failure. His only solace was that he'd manage to thin out the mercenaries the Rodian sent against him, slaying four of their number, leaving only three more to be dealt with. But that comfort did not last long. Soon after he reported the failure to a very upset Narbda, one of his contacts informed him that the angered Hutt had put out a bounty on him!

Now, with two separate bounties on his head, Nex knew he could not safely leave the space station, but nor was he safe while staying. Unsure of what to do, he had rented a room on a lower level, and done his best to stay hidden. Now he was on the run, stuck in some filthy cantina with music blaring in his ears, fighting back the urge to slaughter the patrons.

"Wonderful."

[Casual]

{OOC: I would like to start off by sayin’ hey, I’m Casual, otherwise known as Cas, and I’ll be the Roleplay Mentor goin’ with ya through this, so let's see if we can’t improve anything along the way. You say you’re trying to ease your way into a new pair of shoes, so to speak, well… let’s try em on then, shall we?

I like the character. Quite a bit actually. On a side note, I would actually like to mention that this guy would make an awesome apprentice for my Sith Master Jack Grozmick (LINK). I actually intended to keep him “apprenticeless” but I like this guy you've made, and you're quite the RPer yourself. This can be figured out later, though lol. Not what you were expecting as a response eh? ;D . Moving on!

Alright, let’s get this show on the road. Overall, you’re doing quite well, superb. There are areas to improve on however. One: I believe you meant “pour”, and not “poor” in this first little bit.

To poor all his suffering into them and revel in their screams.

Nextly, you have stated a few strings of words together quite a bit. (i.e.“ soft, smooth, flawless bodies,” “normal, smooth skin, hair, walking around without…” “The pure, burning, intoxicating hatred”) You get the idea. Now, this can fall under many categories. Whether you were trying to do this intentionally for your character, to describe the sort of thought processes he goes through, and give a feel for who he is, or you do this as a writer to create a certain flow through each post, or you did this on accident and it was good I pointed it out, I just feel that it needed some kind of mention. Personally, it struck me as odd, but that’s just me. I think it could be perfectly dandy to have, really, the only reason in me bringing it to the light was really to know what your intentions with it are, but maybe… in a professional sense, just cut back on it a teensy bit (but not fully, as, like I said, it adds quite a spice and flavor to you writing.) Btw: These last two points aren’t really major criticisms, more like things that stuck out, but I digress. Last point: We see quite a good deal of Nex’s dark side. His anger, his disgust for all things smooth and happy, but what about his softer side, even at points this has to come out. I feel you’ve given every dimension of Nex but this one. Now, I may be jumping the gun (this is your first post in our little RP) but I kinda sorta feel as if there should be some mention of good in this guy with as much hate you’ve already shown in him.

So, in conclusion, you’ve got some amazing stuff going on, very little sanding to be done, and let’s just see how things go from here. Now… None of my characters would have any reason for being on Nar Shadaada, let alone in a cantina, so I shall create an NPC to do interact with you for this RP location, a Grey Jedi, who’s under Narbda’s employ. It’ll give you a bit of both, and if need be, we can have him offed to bring in the gun-toting non-force sensitives. Sound good? Awright!

___________

Name: Bebsin Escot
Rank: Jedi Knight level Grey Jedi (young)
Profession: Bounty Hunter
Age: 23
Race: Human

Description: He’s a punk of an ex-Jedi. Bit of a rebellious troublemaker and left the order on bad terms, but snuck off with his blue lightsaber into a galaxy of other troublemakers and scumbags. He works for the Crime Lord Narbda the Hutt, and he does his missions with pride and an attitude for those who get in his way. He’s got a scraggly beard, is of medium build, lean muscle, and fights with a sort of quick strength, being not particularly fast or strong. He is versed in the Jedi training up to promotion to Knight level (which is when he left). He’s can get hot-headed, but not so much arrogant, and has a lazy speech he’s picked up while in Nar Shadaa. He only exists in this single RP.

Shii-Cho 5
Ataru 3
Niman 3

Telekinetic: 5
Telepathic: 5
Body: 6
Sense: 4
Protection: 3
Healing: 2
Destruction: 2

Physical Strength: 5
Intelligence: 6
Speed: 5
Leadership: 3

Unarmed: 5
Melee Weapons: 2
Ranged Weapons: 4

Alignment: -1

_________________

Bebsin Escot smiled from his seat in at the bar counter. The man was making quite a stir both inside the cantina and through the Force as he and his thick and wild emotions made their way to a booth. It was a yellow-toothy smile, one of complete satisfaction with his assignment. Those in this sector of Nar Shadaa knew of his works, how he used the Force to perform the deeds of his boss, Narbda the Hutt. They knew that he had full permission to do so around these parts, so long as he didn’t cause too much of a disturbance or damage. If things went well enough though, as they should, the only damage will be a few blood stains, Bebsin smiled again at his own wit.

He approached the man that was clearly his target. The crispy fool couldn’t have made himself more apparent. Preferring to play with his food before he ate it, Bebsin sat across from the man.

What? Sweating already? I haven’t even threatened ya yet.

He gave a wet, weezy sounding laugh at his own joke, he had a tendency to do that. Though Bebsin realized that the man hadn’t really noticed him, or at least didn’t seem to as he heard the man say.

Wonderful.

This struck the bounty hunter as borderline insulting, though, he would give this dark figure the benefit of the doubt, as he had moved in quite subtly and while the man was looking away from him.

Hey bub! Lookit, I’ve got a job teh do an I ain’t about to take mah jolly ol’ time in doin’ it. Name’s Bebsin, and I’m bringin ya back with me dead or alive to Narbda, an’ there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it. So, what’s it gonna be? Easy way or hard way?

Upon the word “easy” he slowly and deliberately moved his hand visibly to his side, where his lightsaber shone in its holster. He really wanted the hard way and would give anything for a good old fashioned rumble, after all he hated this bartender and some radical renovations would suit this place nicely.

[Nex Morsus]

((Hehe...yeah definitely didn't expect that response. Yeah I did meant to put pour there. I have a bad habit of typoing by typing a homonym of the word I meant. As for the word strings, yeah the first two were meant to show his thought process, the things that he was noticing and thinking. The last one was to just keep it going, give it a flow and sort of help tie his hatred and anger in with those thought processes.

As far as Nex's softer side is concerned, I'm still fleshing it out. I'm trying to decide what triggers those emotions in him, why those things make him feel that way in relation to his bio, and what his opinion on the whole matter is.))

Nex's right fist clenched as he slowly turned his gaze away from the other patrons to the man who sat before him. The bubbling Force energies around the newcomer made Nex close his fist tighter, causing a few of his knuckles to complain with loud cracks. Between his inward focus on keeping control and the distortions in the Force his own frustration had been making, Nex had been utterly oblivious to the Force user's approach.

Pushing the frustration away, Nex finished turning to face his 'guest'. His eyes flitted over the other, studying, drinking in the details and analyzing them, as his masters had instructed him time and time again. Details were the key to a Dark Jedi's survival, both in the sense that noticing them lead to opportunities and advantages that would otherwise be missed, and in controlling the little details that could give oneself away as an agent of the Dark Side. Behind Nex's mask a smirk was slowly spreading across his wrinkled face.

Whoever this man was, he was sloppy. He was making an obvious display of reaching toward his lightsaber, probably too overconfident to even consider the possibility of Nex already having his hand on a blaster, pointed in that direction and ready to slam a bolt of plasma through his midsection. He didn't, of course. His blaster was holstered at the small of his back, but it was something any scum used to getting in trouble would have been doing, and it surprised Nex that this man had survived long enough to become a bounty hunter.

He probably relies on the Force to give him warning of impending attacks and to give him the reflexes to react. Fool. The Force is strong, but only in the hands of one who does not neglect his own efforts at survival.[/color] His eyes narrow as he studies the ripples in the Force surrounding the man. He was obviously not Jedi, his emotions were too unfettered, too free to be those of the self-righteous stoics. At the same time, however, they did not hold the same intensity and darkness of one such as himself. This man was too much of a child, floundering about without guidance or purpose to belong to either faction. His emotions were too free, given no restraint nor any direction or true passion. A Grey Jedi, then.

Nex finally looked up to meet the Bebsin's eyes, his own yellowed orbs filled with malice. Of all the days to claim a bounty on Nex's head, this Bebsin had perhaps chosen the worst. Nex's interest was not to escape, not to fight and run, not even to kill the other man. No, his desire was to hurt this arrogant, sloppy excuse for a Grey Jedi. To fill him with such pain and terror that the Force would shudder and beg for his death.

"Narbda was a fool to call for my head. And you are a bigger fool for coming to claim it. Put your toy away and leave here, while I still choose to allow it." The amplified rasp that served Nex as a voice was dripping with venom. Even the slight mechanical quality that the amplification equipment installed in Nex's mask gave the tattered remnants of his voice could not hide the spite welling up in him. Those that dealt with Nex often said his voice was what they imagined a demon must sound like. Corrupted, rasping, and filled to the brim with the sound of death.

[Casual]

((Okee dokey, SO, here we go again, just gonna run through this one with what needs to be improve-a-tized, what is goin’ good and whatever else I deem needing pointed out . Ready? Let’s roll!

His eyes narrow as he studies the ripples in the Force surrounding the man.

Ah… a bit of a sticky slip up here, as you are supposed to keep this in past tense.

meet the Bebsin's eyes

I’m not certain if this was intentional or not, but Bebsin is his name, and as such I find it odd that you said “the” before it.

"Narbda was a fool to call for my head. And you are a bigger fool for coming to claim it. Put your toy away and leave here, while I still choose to allow it."

Aha! Something RP related to note upon! This is actually quite minute, but I believe it would be a best if you built up to this in Nex’s thoughts. It seems to come upon him at strange time in his thought pattern. One minute he’s planning to torture this man, the next, he’s offering mercy. There should be some kind of thought in Nex’s mind that lends him to tell Bebsin this.

The atmosphere your character creates stays right on, the anger, the disgust, and the voice, all are readily apparent with him, and it’s quite enjoyable to read, you effectively add these dimensions on to Nex, which is something to keep on doing, though I find that this won’t ever be a problem. Kudos here.

Well, onward we go then!))

Bebsin listened as the man known as Nex offered him mercy, but all he heard was the guised plea of a scared man. At least, that’s what he expressed to Nex.

Eh, blah blah blah. Tha’s all I’m hearin’. Sounds teh me like you want things done deh hard way.

A prutrid sneer lit up Bebsin Escot’s scraggly face. Slightly yellowed teeth shone back at the Dark Jedi with malicious and eager intent. He raised his hands, in light of his smile and in a way of adding to his whimsical demeanor. There was then a sudden tug on the Force, as his lightsaber shot up into his hand, and he stood, igniting his bright blue blade, fluidly, and in one motion. He stepped out from the table, gesturing for Nex to follow, his smile never once leaving his face.

The patrons of the bar, depending on their types of personality, made their way out in a hurry, though some decided to stay to watch how things would play out. The bartender merely turned away and began to polish dishes, shouting Just don’t brake anything this time, Beb.

To which Bebsin replied.

Nothin’ more than this lit’l twerp, ‘ere, Reggie. At least, enough for Narbda to recognize ‘em.

His eyes narrowed at Nex, he wasn’t sure how much of a fight this guy could put up, but it was bound to be a good little scrap.

[Nex Morsus]

((Yeah I had originally typed "the man's eyes" then decided to change it to Bebsin but forgot to take out 'the'. And yeah, I occasionally slip out of past tense, I'm more accustomed to present tense. I can see what you are saying about the build up thing. I think I built up to it in my head then forgot to actually type it. lol. Oh and as far as having Jack become Nex's Sith master. I like the idea. Not sure how agreeable Nex is gonna be, but I like it.))

Nex's eyes widened as though in fear and darted around the room, seeming to desperately search for an exit. In truth, Nex was simply formulating a plan, studying the cantina and deciding how best to use his surroundings to his advantage. The various tables and chairs scattered about would make excellent projectiles and distractions, as well as good platforms from which to make high strikes.

With the facade of fear still in his eyes, Nex raised his hands in surrender and stood up from the table, putting his arms out in front of him where they could be easily bound. As Bebsin's disappointment began to show and his guard lowered a bit, the fear in Nex's eyes quickly melted into wicked glee. His hands turned downward and he shoved outward with his arms, slamming the Grey Jedi with a bolt of kinetic Force energy.

As the Grey Jedi reeled and tried to recover from the initial surprise attack Nex flicked his left arm out toward the bar slightly and reached out with the Force. Seizing a chair, he lifted it off the ground and jerked his arm inward, yanking the furniture toward Bebsin's back. Having left the Grey Jedi with little choice other than to dodge or deflect the projectile and miss the opportunity to attack, or try to attack and hope not to be hit, Nex smirked under his mask and took a few quick steps backwards. If the Grey Jedi was half as talented as his bragging let on, then this would be interesting. Otherwise, Nex would toy with Bebsin for awhile, hurt him, tease him with illusions of victory and finally, either kill, or, if the mood struck Nex, disable him.

And all the while as these thoughts crossed his mind and he stepped backwards, Nex flicked his right wrist and gave a slight tug with the Force, freeing his lightsaber from it's wrist hilt and sliding it into his hand. He kept his palm facing behind him and his lightsaber left un-ignited, aiming to fool the Grey Jedi into believing he was still unarmed, and then ignite the right blade just in time to block the first attack. As for the left, he kept it in it's hilt for now, he would release and ignited it when the opportunity to attack presented itself.

[Casual]

//OOC: Here you show quite a bit of Godmodding. What I mean by this is, you take control of the opposing character, stating things such as “Bebsin’s disappointment began to show” and “he lowered his guard a bit.” You can’t do these things here, especially while in combat. Nor can you state whether or not an attack lands. Though this control over Bebsin takes up a bulk of your post, you leave him in a position where he can respond easily, which is good. I’ll just let this slide and we’ll pick it up from there. Try reading into what I do to get a feel for how battle is done here at SWU, and I would also recommend taking a peek at the practice duels section (CLICK). Other than that I see a small grammatical issue, and that’s it: “…from it's wrist hilt…” and “…he kept it in it's hilt…” The “it’s” should be “its.” Beyond that, you do very well in the other areas. Ok, let’s keep this thang goin’ then. .//

Shocked as he was for the Dark Jedi’s cunning, Bebsin wasn’t at all amused. In fact, he was quite irked. The scummy maggot had caught him off-guard, even played at being afraid of him. What it had led to was him being knocked back, almost toppled over, and a chair flying at him. With a brusque flick of the wrist and a raised hand, parallel to his head, he pushed it slightly to the right, allowing it to veer past him by inches. He gave a bit of a chuckle and replied to the affront.

Now, that wudn’t verah nice now was it? Looks like I’m gunna have to teach yeh some manners.

With that, Bebsin thrust a push of Force at Nex, not checking to see whether or not the blow landed, or even had an effect, as his goal had merely been to distract. Immediately following, he leaped in the air and brought his lightsaber down hard. Regardless of whether he had been blocked or not, he continued to assail Nex with blow after blow, using the Ataru form of lightsaber combat, he increased the strength of the strikes, and danced back and forth quickly, trying to wear Nex down. The man was a charred shell of a beast, there was no way he could withstand Bebsin’s attacks, or so he believed. He planned to wear down this burnt up scum and then try to apprehend him, as a live target was worth more than a dead one. His raged fueled his every move, and when he began to sweat a little from his exertion, he leapt back and threw a flurry of Force pushes at the Dark Jedi, believing him now be easily knocked back from the blows. He believed he had a clever and foolproof strategy to return on this cunning evil man, though there was always room to be mistaken…

[Nex Morsus]

((Whoops. Lol. I was running with the idea that he was an NPC and therefore certain liberties could be taken. My bad. I'll do my best not to do that in the future. Sometimes the line of where godmodding is can be kind of blurry for me. And yeah...its and it's always screws me up. That's one of the ones I have always had a helluva time remembering to keep straight.))
The first few strikes that Bebsin threw at Nex the Dark Jedi simply dodged, turning, twisting, and ducking out of the way. His movements were smooth and fluid, almost relaxed. Unlike many followers of the Dark Side, Nex preferred to keep his anger in check until an opportune attack presented itself. Though anger and hatred gave great strength, they also brought about recklessness, and were therefore not as useful while defending as they were while on the offense.

As the Grey Jedi continued to attack, however, Nex spun his wrist and ignited his blade. The indigo beam of plasma screeched its retort as it came to life at the last moment, colliding with Bebsin's blade. The blow landed harder than Nex expected, and he was forced to replant his rear foot, putting him slightly off balance. The Grey Jedi danced back and came in again to strike and once again, his blow was harder than Nex would anticipate from someone his size. Bebsin was also moving faster than the Dark Jedi expected, and it dawned on him that the other was likely a student of the Ataru lightsaber form. Nex had dueled with Ataru followers before, and knew how quickly they could wear a person down, but they also wore themselves out in the process.

A look of determination creased Nex's face as he was pushed back by another blow, one that nicked his robe just above the knee. As Bebsin came in for another strike Nex flashed his saber up to block, but rather than simply trying to stopp the blow, he angled his saber, letting the other man's roll down his own while he twisted out of the way. He continued this strategy with the next few, letting the force of the blow only be partially blocked and instead concentrating on redirecting the momentum, thereby conserving his own energy while Bebsin continued his draining onslaught.

Suddenly, just as the effort began to show, Bebsin had leaped back and began to fire of a barrage of Force Thrusts. The first two caught Nex off guard, one sending him spinning and the other launching him into the air. Acting as much instinctively as out of tact, he twisted, contorting his body midair so that he hit the wall behind him feet first. He batted the next Force Thrust away, seeing it just barely soon enough to react, then dove forward underneath the next one. He rolled towards Bebsin, coming up into a crouch and thrust out his left hand, using the Force to yank a table up in front of him as a shield for the next two Force Thrusts.

A grin was spreading across Nex's scarred face under his mask, causing the skin under his eyes to wrinkle and a malicious glee to begin showing in his eyes. He had not had this much fun in quite sometime. With one fluid motion, Nex disengaged his right saber and used the Force to put it back in his hilt while simultaneously thrusting his left arm out to his side and the table with it. As he did he let that saber release into his hand and ignite, the indigo blade screaming into existence just as the other had. The lightsabers were identical, and it was likely that Bebsin would assume he had simply switched hands while the table had blocked his view.

Energy crackled and snapped between Nex's fingers on his right hand and a malevolent gleam shone in his eyes. The Force around him seemed to groan as anger and hatred washed out from the Dark Jedi, creating ripples and distortions easily felt by someone sensitive to them. Focusing this hate and rage, Nex splayed his fingers open, crackling Force Lightning bursting forth from them. The energy danced and sparked over some of the furniture but the Dark Jedi focused his fury on Bebsin, driving the electrified expression of his wrath straight for the man.

Nex kept his lightsaber hand ready to block, just in case the Grey Jedi escaped the attack and came at him with a blade. Nex knew, however, that it was just as likely that Bebsin could possibly redirect the lightning back at him, and this had been the real reason he kept the blade out. If the Grey Jedi did so, he would try to block the blast with this blade while drawing the other, rather than risk trying to redirect the already unstable energies himself.

[Casual]

//OOC: Beyond a slight typo ("stopp" rather than "stop"), this was very well done. I got the feel for the on-the-run Dark Jedi type in his actions, which were well done. Let's see if you can keep this up. Excellent work ;D//

With a slight sense of satisfaction, Bebsin watched as his Force Thrust his his mark, knocking Nex unawares into the wall, though, it wasn't a solid hit, as he had used his feet to lessen the blow, and land in time to lift a table to block the other Thrusts. This didn't settle well with Bebsin, because though he knew Nex to have skill, he didn't expect it to this degree. Even his Ataru hadn't really gotten through him. He would have to step up his game.

As the table rolled over, he noticed that Nex had switched hands with his lightsaber, a bold new tact, he thought, but it wouldn't matter in the long run. With a leap to the right, assisted by the Force, Bebsin raised a nearby table and threw it at Nex as he sailed through the air. He landed at the same time the table reached Nex, and then, as soon as he did, he threw his lightsaber, using the Force to guide it in a lethal spin directly at Nex.

Without even checking to see if it hit its mark, he ran in a clockwise semi-circle around Nex, thrusting more Force pushs at him, while still controling his lightsaber in his consiousness to come right back to him. When he finished, he was now to the back of the room, rather than the front, with Nex remaining in his sights. At that, he took off at a Force-bolstered run towards Nex, catching his lightsaber back into his right hand when he reached half-way to Nex, and brought it down on the Dark Jedi as the first few beads of sweat fell off of his enraged face. Let's see what you can do, boy, he thought.