High Council Member Si Quan

[Cain]

Name: Si Quan [Sī Kwan]
Race: Human/Epicanthix
Age: 69
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 190lbs

Appearance: Si Quan is an older man, though being part Epicanthix he appears to be in remarkably good shape for his age as those among his species usually live well into their 130's. Being 68 years old, Si appears middle aged, like a normal human in his mid 40's. Si's hair has retained most of its dark brown color save for a few locks of silvery gray. His short and scruffy beard however has long since lost all its color. For a man in his late sixties Si's face has been able to maintain a good deal of its youthful appearance, however some creases have begun to form around his mouth and eyes.

A younger Si Quan as a Jedi Knight

Personality: Though physically Si is an imposing figure today as he was in his youth, at heart Si Quan is a kind and gentle man who despises violence. Most of Si's free time is spent alone in wilderness or in the cozy confines of the Jedi Temple Library. A love for knowledge and nature was instilled in Si at a young age by his masters. Above all else, however, Si Quan's passion is for teaching. Si believes strongly that the future of the Order depends upon its Younglings and Padawans, not just its Masters.

Si Quan has lived a life fraught with pain and loss but has come out on the other side stronger for it. Most importantly he has never lost his faith in others or in the Force. Having supervised the training of so many, Si Quan has come to believe that the path to understanding the Force differs for each individual. This being the case, Si Quan's views on how to train younger Jedi do sometimes conflict with the traditional dogmatic views of some of his contemporaries. Despite the occasional disagreement, Si has maintained his respect for the Council and the Order.

Later in life Si Quan would become well known among Jedi and Dark Jedi alike across the galaxy for his patience and his skill in the use of Form III: Soresu. So much so in fact as to garner the moniker "Soresu Si Quan". This came after his confrontation with former Jedi Master Alex Drake in which Si Quan vanquished the self proclaimed Dark Lord with the patience of his blade.

Birth place: Tatooine

Faction: Jedi Order
Rank: High Council Member (Master/Sentinel)

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Equipment:

Lightsaber: Single Blade, Singe Phase.
Color: Green (Ilum Crystal)

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Stats:

Strength: Above Average
Intelligence: Above Average
Agility: Above Average
Charisma: Superior

Force Stats:

Telekinetic: Master
Telepathic: Adept
Body: Master
Sense: Adept
Protection: Adept
Healing: Apprentice
Destruction: Unskilled

Lightsaber Training:

Shii-Cho - Master
Soresu - Specialist
Djem So - Expert

Combat Training:

Hand to Hand - Expert

Force Training:
Force Repulse - Master
Crucitorn - Master
Force Valor - Master

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Bio:

Si Quan's mother was a young Epicanthix woman named Yu Quan. For most of her life Yu lived on Panatha as the wealthy daughter of the Senator Lun Quan. The Epicanthix were known to the inhabitants of nearby planets as fierce warriors. It was a reputation many among the Epicanthix took pride in. The Quan family was no different. Yu would train daily in the hand to hand combat style of the Epicanthix. One particular day during her training, Yu encountered a Human man named Jal Ando. Jal was a treasure hunter and a mercenary who moved from planet to planet in search of rare gems and big contracts. Thus far he had not found the score he'd spent most of his life looking for.

Down on his luck and in debt to the Hutts on Tatooine, Jal decided to risk it all hunting on Panatha. It was a world most avoided. While combing the jungles Jal stumbled across Yu Quan in the midst of her combat training. Jal was struck immediately by her beauty... her long flowing black hair, her smooth skin and icy blue eyes. Treasure hunting was a quick way to make credits, but the Hutts were even more fond of slaves... It was one of the first thoughts to cross Jal's mind upon seeing Yu. A woman so beautiful could easily be worth enough to the Hutts to pay off Jal's debt and then some.

In daydreaming about his potential payoff Jal hadn't even noticed that the Epicanthix woman had slipped away into the jungle. Before Jal could figure out what had happened Yu attacked from the side. She quickly disarmed the hunter of his blaster and pinned him down on his back with a blade to his throat. Though she was a warrior, Yu was no killer. Instead of simply finishing off Jal she decided to take him back to the Tree City as a prisoner. Being a full day's speeder bike ride from the city, however, forced Yu to wait until morning.

Jal was defiant toward his captor at first, but Yu's unique gift soon softened him up. Many among the Epicanthix thought Yu Quan to be a "Siren" of sorts, as her abilities to manipulate the emotions of others was well known to her people. However, Yu was far too kind hearted a person to ever use her abilities to be luring anyone to their doom. Though Yu herself wasn't quite sure how she was able to do it, she found that she could project her emotions onto others. After calming Jal and speaking with him through the night, Yu finally got the hunter to confess his situation. Yu was empathetic to the man and being quite wealthy herself, offered to help him pay off his debt. It was an offer neither Yu's father... nor her husband would be very pleased with.

Jal himself couldn't help but fall in love with Yu. Her kindness and beauty was unlike anything he was used to growing up in the blowing sand dunes of Tatooine among all the worst sort of scum in the galaxy. In order for Yu to get the funds needed to pay off Jal's debts she was forced to deceive her husband, Kade, telling him she needed the credits for a vacation trip to Naboo. Kade was an heir to a great fortune of his own. Yu's father had arranged their marriage when she was only 13. Though his family was well renowned, Kade himself was loathsome man of few redeeming qualities. For the most part he kept his wife on a tight leash, monitoring all her actions including the money she spent.

After using her charms to convince Kade into allowing her to take a holiday on Naboo, Yu took the credits and left Panatha with Jal on board his ship. Kade however was not as simple a man as Yu had given him credit for. He knew all too well his wife's gift for manipulation. This paranoia had led him not to trust her. After Yu left, Kade had her followed. The scout returned with the news that Yu had boarded an alien freighter with an unknown human male. The ship's last known trajectory put it on a course for Tatooine.

Catching his wife in a lie Kade became furious. A man as powerful as he would not sit back and be made a fool of. Kade immediately tipped off the Hutts to Yu and Jal's impending arrival.

Unaware of the danger, Yu and Jal landed at Mos Espa. They were met there by Ubese bounty hunters who immediately took them into custody. They were both brought before Granda the Hutt where, after paying off Jal's debt, Yu was informed that she was to be returned to her husband on Panatha.

At that point Jal could have jumped into his starship and burned sky until he saw lines. His debt was paid and he was free to do now as he pleased. Only a man with a death wish or perhaps a special sort of idiot would have thrown that away. Love, it seems, has a way of making fools of the best of us. Jal could not bring himself to leave Yu behind. Jal broke into Granda's palace late at night to rescue Yu Quan. It was a move that would insure that Jal would live with a death mark for the rest of his days... but in his eyes it was a small price to pay.

And so it begins... (Age 0 - 6)

With a hefty bounty now on Jal's head and Kade still hunting for his ex-wife, the couple was forced to go into hiding. They began living a simple life among the endless sands of Tatooine's dune sea. While there, Yu gave birth to the couple's first and only child, a baby boy they named Si. The first five years of young Si's life were spent living rather simply. Jal supported the family spelunking for rare gems in the caves of the duen sea and selling the spoils in Anchorhead. It was a dangerous occupation that yielded precious few credits.

Yu instructed Si in the art of hand to hand combat, as was customary for Epicanthix children. Si got the hang of it quickly though he was still very young. Yu noted Si's quicker than normal reflexes. This sort of skill was essential to the form of hand to hand combat the Epicanthix taught but usually only came to them after years of training. It came very naturally to Si, something Yu had not seen since her own training. Si also learned some of the Epicanthix language, Epicant, from his mother. Though he was never able to speak it fluently. Jal also spent a good deal of time teaching his son. Si's father often would take him along to the caves.

For the most part Jal found nothing but rocks and sand on his trips. The few gems he did find brought in modest earnings, but the real money was in Krayt Dragon pearls. Jal had only ever slayed such a creature once when he was a much younger man. He sold one of the pearls he retrieved from the beast and kept the other on a chain around his neck. Jal always claimed he'd sell it should the family fall on hard times, but Si never believed it. He saw the way his father admired that pearl as if it were a member of the family itself. Si would not have wanted him to sell it anyway. The pearl was a badge of honor, proof of his prowess as a treasure hunter. Si longed for the day when he could retrieve a pearl of his own.

Into the Dragon's Den (Age 6)

The opportunity for Si's own pearl came after a trip to Anchorhead with his father to sell the spoils of their most recent hunt. On their way back home Jal's speeder broke down and they were forced to stop in the middle of the Dune Sea as the twin suns settled beneath the sand. While he waited for his father to finish the repairs a cold feeling came over Si. It was something he couldn't explain, but it gave the boy an uneasy feeling. When Si told his father about it Jal suspected that it might be something big. Though Si was hesitant, Jal was compelled to take a closer look at the surrounding area. After only a short walk Jal stumbled upon a cave that had been camouflaged with the dunes. Jal recognized it immediately as a Krayt Dragon's den.

Bringing down a Krayt Dragon was no easy task. Jal only had two mines with him. It was doubtful they would be enough. Jal instructed his son to remain far back away from the cave and out of sight as he set the mines at the cave's entrance. Si did as he was told, watching from afar as his father encroached dangerously close to the cave mouth and began setting the charges. The cold feeling running through Si's blood was growing now. Something bad was going to happen, he just knew it. Before Si could jump up to warn his father the screech of a speeder bike caused him to duck back down behind his dune.

Back in Anchorhead a Mandalorian bounty hunter had recognized Jal even though it had been ten years since the bounty had been put on his head. The Mandalorian sabotaged Jal's speeder while he was selling his Wraid plates and followed after him. He now had Jal cornered at the mouth of the Dragon's Den. The Mandalorian was clad in armor from head to toe. A vibroblade was sheathed at his back and a heavy blaster pistol holstered on his hip which he quickly drew and held out toward Jal. From his position several hundred yards away Si couldn't quite make out what they were saying but he understood that his father was in danger. The fear had almost completely paralyzed him and before Si could think to do anything, it was all over.

Jal suddenly went for his rifle and the Mandalorian squeezed off three shots that cracked and rippled loudly across the barren landscape. Two of the blasts struck Jal and sent him limply to the ground. As the Mandalorian knelt down and ripped the dragon's pearl from the chain around Jal's neck Si could contain himself no longer. Without thinking he stood and shouted, "NO!"

The shout caught the Mandalorian's attention and he began to stalk after Si. Realizing that he was in serious trouble, Si stumbled trying to get away when a rumbling beneath his feet stopped Si and the Mandalorian cold in their tracks. The loud blasts of the Mandalorian's pistol had disturbed the Krayt Dragon which now stirred in it's den. Si looked on in wide eyed horror as the massive beast at least 50 meters long emerged from the cavern. The pair of explosions at its feet from the mines Jal had set only succeeded in pissing it off more as the dragon let out a mighty roar. The Mandalorian fired his blaster at the beast, the bolts smashing against its thick leathery hide and causing the creature to bellow and charge forward. In a panic the Mandalorian squeezed off a few more clumsy blaster bolts before the dragon threw the Mandalorian a good 30 meters with a buck of its head, causing him to drop his blaster and Jal's pearl. In a daze the Mandalorian was unable to flee as the dragon slithered after him and gobbled him up into his jaws. Si could hear the twisting of the Mandalorian's armor as the beast gnashed its teeth before finally swallowing the bounty hunter down.

With a low groan the dragon shook itself off and lumbered back into its den. Si had sat frozen watching the entire ordeal. It was only after an hour had passed without sight or sound from the dragon that Si worked up the nerve to rush to his father's side. Both blaster bolts had hit Jal in the chest. He might have survived the initial attack but after over an hour he had succumb to his injuries. Si wept over his father's body, collecting the broken chain from around his neck. Si spent most of that night in the cold sifting through the sand around Jal in search of his father's pearl. The thought had crossed his mind that the dragon might have swallowed it with the Mandalorian, but Si somehow could feel that it was close.

Finally Si's feelings paid off. The pearl had been buried in a few inches of sand and might have been lost forever if it had not been for Si's intuition. Si was too little to drag his father's body away from the den and he couldn't linger much longer. The dragon had been fed but it would soon get hungry again. Si didn't know the way back home, only the general direction in which he and his father had come in returning from Anchorhead. The odds of making it back on foot were slim to none, but Si had little recourse.

Si spent the remainder of the night and most of the next day trekking through the Dune Sea until at last collapsing under the heat of the twin suns. With his physical strength drained and his spirit broken, Si resigned himself to the sleep in which he began to sink. But this was not the end...

As fate would have it a Draethos out for a ride on his speeder bike was passing through the dunes on his way to Anchorhead when he stumbled across Si. The Draethos was a Jedi Master named Udin Thos. He had come to Tatooine purely by chance and now had stumbled upon this child. Master Thos could feel the Force within the boy and began to think this trip to Anchorhead had been no accident. Udin rescued the boy from the sand and brought him to Achorhead where he could be revived. Upon finally coming around, Si was able to recant to Master Thos what had happened.

With Udin's help Si was able to return to his home only to find it had been ransacked. Yu was no where to be found. Si would not find out for many years that the Mandalorians had been tracking Jal for some time. At the same time that Jal was being attacked, a seperate bounty hunter had gone after Yu, who herself had accumulated quite a bounty for her return to Panatha alive...

Si was alone now with no where to go. Udin could feel the strength of the Force within him and offered to take the boy back home with him to Coruscant. Udin explained that the feelings he had while on the hunt with his father were caused by the Force. It was a Jedi trait that he could be taught to use. Udin had shown kindness to Si that no one else would and for this Si had come to trust him. With no where else to go he agreed to return to Coruscant with Udin Thos and train to be a Jedi.

Youngling Si (Ages 6 - 12)

Coruscant was a busy, fast paced world where life whizzed by at a mile a minute. The planet, combined with his rigid training schedule, was precisely the kind of distraction Si Quan needed to occupy his thoughts. Having lost both his parents and even witnessed the murder of his father, Si had become distant and detached. He preferred to spend as much of his time as possible alone in the Temple Courtyard or the Room of a thousand fountains. A few small natural oases amidst an endless desert of concrete and steel.

The stillness and quiet of nature provided a great deal of calm for young Si. His father had taught him a lot about it during their hunts. Being alone among the trees and the waterfalls brought Si back to a happier place. The time Si spent meditating and centering himself alone as a youngling would be the beginning of his legendary patience. As a boy Si would sit in meditation for days at a time simply listening to the world around him; The roar of the falling water pulverizing the rocks below, the wind sweeping through the leaves and branches of above, and the murmur of life that surrounded and suffocated all things on Coruscant. It was a subtle thing at first, difficult to perceive, like white noise. There were billions of souls that crowed into the galactic capital, each touched by the Force, all having a distinct sound all their own. One had only to listen... to the impetuous ear they were one, a mass of life that could be smothering. However, with patience one could begin to make out the distinctions among the masses.

Si rather enjoyed his meditations and he applied this sense of calm and patience into his daily training as well. His progress was slow, but steady. Like with his combat training under Yu, Si's ability to anticipate attacks and counter was a great asset with his lightsaber training. However, everyone here seemed to possess a similar talent. If Si was going to stand out here he would have to find some other advantage. He wouldn't find it as a Youngling. By the age of 12 Si's saber work was average at best. This didn't bother him much however. Seeing his father cut down as he had, Si came to realize sooner then most the horrors of war and conflict. It made Si a pacifist who hated the idea of violence. The boy felt his efforts were much better spent in meditation and in the acquisition of knowledge. Master Thos had introduced Si to the Jedi Library where the Youngling would come to spend a good deal of time. Early in his life the path of a Consular seemed to be the path for Si, but as he grew Si's opinions on these matters would change.

The man, the myth, the legend (Age 12 - 15)

Si Quan graduated to the rank of Padawan at age twelve. The Jedi who took him on as an apprentice was a young Rattataki Knight named Maha Rishii. Though only in his thirties, Maha had wisdom beyond his years. The two Jedi had much in common. Maha too had witnessed the loss of his father and the destruction of his home. Also the Rattataki, like the Epicanthix, were renown as warriors, but Maha too had grown to despise violence. Seeing the way Maha carried himself, always with a sunny disposition and a smile, was inspiring to Si. Maha Rishii taught Si Quan to stop feeling sorry for himself and to start enjoying life again. It was a lesson Si would be sure to need for the tumultuous years to come.

Maha's first impression of Si Quan was of a boy satisfied simply with being. Si was making no effort to strive for something greater. The boy's enthusiasm for knowledge was admirable, many a great Jedi had chosen to specialize in such pursuits. However, to completely ignore all other areas was a mistake. By the time Si Quan became a Padawan, calling his saber skills average was being generous. Maha began his instruction of his new pupil by redirecting his focus back to the lightsaber arts. Maha Rishii himself was a master of Form II, Makashi. It was an elegant and precise form that was executed "like a dance" as Maha would describe it. Maha enjoyed the theatrical arts and often likened his lessons to the theater. A form such as Makashi melded well with Maha's own musical personality but it did little for Si. For a pacifist Jedi such as his Padawan, Maha chose Form III: Soresu.

The concept behind the form was one that fit with Si very well as Soresu was essentially about calm and patience. A series of short, quick strokes close to the body created a barrier that would redirect an opponent's energy rather than block it. This allowed the user of Soresu to conserve energy as opposed to wasting it. With enough patience one could use Soresu to wear out an opponent and then finish them off once their fatigue caused them to make a mistake. At first Si was resistant to the lightsaber form that he would later be known for. He honestly just did not see the importance of keeping up with his sword work, but he went on with his training. He did so, if for no other reason, than out of respect for his master.

What really captured Si Quan's enthusiasm was the many new applications of the Force Maha was introducing him to. Si had quite an affinity for the Force but his abilities simply lacked polish, as most his age do. He had been taught the basics as a Youngling and come out as only slightly above average. This was due in large part to Si's lethargic attitude towards his work. However, with Maha's help Si developed a new love for the Force. Maha explained to Si the concept of the "Living Force", a philosophy which Maha himself was a stout believer. This doctrine simply stated that the Force was a strong presence in all living things and thus all life was connected through it. The Jedi who adhered to this relied on their instincts and attuned themselves to the life around them, careful to remain focused on the here and now. Si Quan was a lover of nature and all things living. Thinking of the Force in this way made it much easier for the boy to apply himself.

Enter the Dark Lord (Age 16)

By the age of 16 Si Quan had accompanied his master on several missions, most of which were uneventful. During these assignments Si used a lightsaber given to him by Maha. At some point he would have to make his own, but Si was in no hurry. In fact, he hadn't experienced any real hostilities until an evening on Coruscant spent with his childhood friend, Miles. Miles was two years older then Si and well on his way to becoming a Jedi Guardian. As Younglings the two were rivals but upon becoming teenagers they grew to be friends.

Miles was the son of two former Jedi Masters, Alex and Sarah Drake. The details of what happened to Miles' parents were hazy, even he did not know who they were. Bringing either of them up around any of the Masters was considered a taboo and therefore the subject of countless rumors among the other Younglings. Miles himself didn't know all the facts as he was only an infant when Alex was exiled.

One evening after the two Padawans had completed their training for the day, Miles mentioned to Si noticing a suspicious looking man stalking the grounds around the Temple. Miles swore to have heard the man speaking to him through the Force, though this seemed very unlikely to Si. Such a powerful use of the Force would have been felt by him, or at the very least by the Masters. Miles was steadfast, however, and it wasn't long before he noticed the shadowy figure again outside the Temple's public promenade. Making a rash decision, Miles opted to pursue the man. Si followed, calling after him to come back to the Temple.

After chasing Miles into the alleys of Coruscant Si caught up to his friend as he confronted the mysterious figure in black, "Are you Miles Drake?" the man asked simply, extending a hand toward Miles. The poor tattered nature of his cloth and the sickly paleness of his flesh was something that bordered on the macabre. Miles recoiled from the vagrant's reach, careful not to take his eyes off of him.

"I am Miles, but...?" Miles had never heard his last name before. The Order had taken great pains to hide the circumstances of Miles' past from him, including the names of his parents. Miles' hand settled over the hilt of his lightsaber. Seeing Miles reach for his weapon Si suddenly became very nervous.

"Let's just go back to the Temple, Miles," Si suggested, tugging at Miles' robe as he attempted to walk away. Miles however shrugged Si's grip loose, keeping his gaze locked on the old man who took another step forward. His gloved hands extending out from the frayed sleeves of his robes and reaching up for his hood. As he pulled it back a pair of yellow eyes glowing dimly from the darkness beneath became visible. Sensing the impending danger Miles tore his lightsaber away from his belt.

"Si! Run!" he shouted. Before Miles' blade could even ignite the man was behind him. He was fast. Too fast. With a burst of Force energy from the old man, he and Miles had disappeared down the darkened ally. It all happened in a matter of seconds and then... nothing.

When Si returned to the temple and informed Maha of what had happened, he seemed strangely unsurprised by the news, as did most of the other Masters. Si was called before the council to give his account of the kidnapping as well as a description of the attacker. Unfortunately all Si could remember seeing was the man's hands... and his eyes. Those cold yellow eyes that seemed to skewer the soul. Si wanted to know what was happening with his friend but no one would give him a straight answer. It was obvious that the Masters knew more about what was going on then they were sharing. They felt that there was no need for a Padawan to know, but Maha recognized the pain in Si and the worry for his friend. He decided then to inform Si as to exactly what he knew.


Warning, the following section has graphic and potentially disturbing content.

The disturbing story of Jedi Master Alex Drake

Alex was born on Coruscant amidst the fires of a terrible battle. He was found being protected by the corpse of his mother who had given her life to save his. Alex was seen to have a great gift for the Force and was taken in that day to be raised by the Jedi. As a child Alex was... odd, for lack of a better word. He would talk to himself often and had little tolerance for his peers. Because of this Alex was extremely introverted, preferring to shun others. Despite these short comings none could deny Alex's genius. Though his social skills were lacking Alex's intelligence and skill was far and away ahead of the others his age.

For all of this Alex had become the subject of ridicule and teasing from his fellow Younglings and speculation among the Masters, many of whom feared grave repercussions in his continued training. It was agreed upon, however, that cutting the boy loose after already starting his training would be far more dangerous then providing him with continued guidance. It was for these reasons that Alex continued to live with the Jedi, despite his anti-social tendencies.

Among Alex's peers there was only one to ever show him kindness, a young girl named Sarah. Through becoming Padawans and even after becoming Jedi Knights, Alex and Sarah were the closest of friends. Even though Alex had feelings for Sarah, his commitment to the Jedi prevented him from acting upon them. Everything was more or less stable in Alex's life until the death of Sarah's older brother, Blaze. As a Youngling Blaze was one of the children who tortured Alex the most and even as adults the two had a general distaste for each other. It wasn't until after Blaze sacrificed himself to save Alex that the two became friends. Blazes dying words to Alex were, "Look after my sister for me..."

After Blaze's death Alex became increasingly closed off. He was obsessed with his studies and with Sarah. The two carried on a relationship in secret, even as they were eventually named Masters by the Jedi Council. Several years later Alex would claim to have a vision of Sarah's death at the hands of the Jedi. The other Masters found this prophecy disturbing to say the least, but encouraged Alex not to let himself get too involved. Of course, it was already too late for that. Sarah was pregnant and these visions of death were growing more vivid by the day. Alex believed that the Jedi were going to kill Sarah for breaking the code and his behavior became increasingly erratic. Even Sarah began to fear what he might do.

This culminated with the evening the Jedi discovered Sarah's pregnancy, as the signs had become too much to hide with loose fitting robes alone. Alex's visions foretold the Jedi coming for Sarah first, and then for him. When Alex went to Sarah telling her they needed to flee, she refused. After a heated argument Alex was convinced that Sarah had been compromised... but there still might be a chance to save the baby.

A crash and the sound of screams attracted the attention of other Jedi within the temple, a young Padawan named Maha Rishii being one of them. The scene he came upon as he entered Sarah's room was one that would never leave him for the rest of his days. There had been a struggle between Alex and his wife, her head had been slammed into one of the mirrors knocking her unconscious. As she lay sprawled out on the floor Alex was knelt over her with a look of absolute madness in his eyes. Using a shard of glass from the mirror he had cut into his wife's abdomen and was in the process of tearing the infant from her womb. The gruesome scene made Maha's blood run cold. He and the other Jedi who had stormed into the room were frozen in place by the sheer horror of what they were seeing, unsure of how to react. Alex went about his business as if he hadn't even noticed the others, cutting the umbilical cord and cradling the blood covered babe in his arms.

"Get away from her you monster!" Maha finally called out in a cracked voice. It was then that Alex's eyes flashed up at him, those icy yellow eyes that simply could not belong to a man in his right mind. His gaze alone caused the Jedi in the room to back pedal in unison before brandishing their lightsabers. Alex then glanced back down at his wife. Sarah was dead. The baby in Alex's arms did not cry, it hardly moved at all. Alex gently set the infant down next to Sarah and rose to his feet, turning to face the Jedi who now crowded the doorway.

"You've come at last..." Alex responded simply before suddenly blasting out a nearby window with the Force and firing the shards of glass at the Jedi. A Force barrier was swiftly raised to block the onslaught. Using the diversion Alex approached his fallen wife again and the Jedi had finally seen enough. Maha himself charged forward and with a spin of his lightsaber took off both of Alex's forearms before he could touch her again. Alex stumbled backwards and then flung himself through the broken window. His body was never recovered. Miraculously the infant would survive the ordeal.

Homecoming (Age 17)

The story of Alex Drake was an unsettling one, and Si's concern for his friend never waned after the day he was kidnapped by who the Council presumed was his own father. However, life for the Jedi went on. Nearly a year after Miles' disappearance Si and now Jedi Master Maha Rishii were assigned to a mission on Panatha. Si himself had never been to the Epicanthix homeworld, he'd only ever heard of it from his mother.

Unfortunately the trouble on Panatha would prevent Si Quan from gaining much enjoyment from his homecoming. Up until this time Si's missions had been mostly diplomatic, non-violent affairs. Panatha was a different story. Civil war threatened the planet's war-like population. The dispute was between the long standing Senator from Panatha and his son in law, Panatha's Military Secretary, Kade Dysar.

Kade was a staunch supporter of the Panathian Independence Movement (PIM) which called for Panatha to secede from the Galactic Republic. The Republic's anti-militarization laws restricted the size of Panatha's armed forces and also required them to designate a percentage of their forces to the Republic's military. This policy was very unpopular among the largely militaristic Epicanthix population whose distaste for the Republic was only heightened by the occupying force sent to Panatha to keep the peace as the threat of a coup loomed. Senator Lun Quan had done his best to quell the uprising, but a recent riot within the planet's capital that claimed the lives of 10 Republic Soldiers and hundreds of Epicanthix protesters now threatened to push the planet to the breaking point.

The Republic requested the Jedi send ambassadors to assist in the ongoing peace process and hopefully stabilize the tense situation. Among those sent to Panatha were now Master Maha and Si Quan. Upon meeting the Senator, Si of course did not recognize his own grandfather. They shared the same last name, though that certainly wasn't such a strange thing for two members of the same species.

Once the Jedi ambassadors had all arrived, they, along with the top Republic officers and Senator Quan, began their meeting concerning how to deal with the threat of the PIM. Talks with their leader Kade Dysar had succeeded in absolutely nothing. The man's ambitions were clearly to seize power over Panatha at any cost. The only way to avoid a war, Lun surmised, would be to eliminate Kade. Master Maha was strangely silent at the suggestion. Si knew that killing was the last thing he or his master wanted to do. However, all out war would mean the death of thousands if not millions of Epicanthix and Republic Soldiers. Though one life weighed against millions seemed like an easy decision, it was a choice that should never be made lightly. Si Quan would learn this lesson by observing Maha's example.

After studying Kade's case Maha proposed an alternative solution to assassinating the Secretary of the Military. It seemed that Kade Dysar had been associated with some less than savory characters. Kade had strong ties to the Hutts on Tatooine and to the Exchange, both considered criminal organizations by the Republic. Though the evidence was scarce it would be enough to warrant an arrest. With the head of the PIM in custody, it would cripple their ability to organize and make war. Senator Quan was wary of the Jedi's plan, but ultimately agreed. He informed the Jedi that Kade's palace would be heavily guarded and that many of his followers would likely be willing to lay down their lives in order to protect their charismatic leader. It seemed arresting Kade Dysar was easier said then done.

The Operation to arrest Kade began the next morning just before dawn. Master Maha led the joint Jedi-Republic strike team that was to storm Dysar's Palace. Si's part in all this was simply to stick close to his master. The Republic commandos had succeeded in cutting off power to the palace and disabling the turrets of its outer defenses. With the artillery down Master Maha was able to Mind trick the perimeter guards into laying down their weapons and fleeing the scene.

Inside the Palace the team fanned out to search for Kade. Maha and Si were met by a rather hostile woman in form fitting black clothing with a veil over her face. Si could feel the strength of the Force within her and evidently so could his master as both of them immediately raised their lightsabers. The woman brandished a pair of metallic looking whips that suddenly came to life with energy as she cracked them across the floor. These were weapons that even a Jedi might have trouble wielding, if this woman had mastered them then she would have to be considered a dangerous opponent indeed.

Master Maha began the engagement by warning Si to try and avoid the attacks from the whip as apposed to blocking them with his lightsaber. Even though Si had heard his master, the heat of the battle quickly caught up with the inexperienced Padawan. Confronted by a well timed crack of the woman's whip, Si raised his saber blade in defense. The energy whip wrapped around the lightsaber and with a quick jerk Si Quan had his weapon torn from his hand and promptly split into two pieces by a crack of her second whip.

Losing his lightsaber had put Si into a difficult situation. He was now dependent completely on the Force to survive the unpredictable attacks of the woman's exotic weapons. The intensity of his first real fight had shaken young Si, and he now could see the peril of losing his focus. It was as Master Maha had taught him; whether it be toe to toe with bloodthirsty mercenaries or seated peacefully beneath the waterfalls of the Room of a Thousand Fountains a Jedi's mind must be calm, at peace, open to the Force.

Instead of panicking in that moment Si quieted his mind as if preparing for deep meditation. Master Maha's concern for his Padawan eased as he felt the change in Si's approach. Si used his Jedi Sense to attempt and anticipate the movements of the woman's whips that had seemed so confounding only moments before. As he side stepped the lash of one of the energy whips Si imagined a pair of hands wrapping around the weapon and tugging it from the woman's hand. It was a technique he'd employed often in his training with telekinesis, visualizing the Force as a physical entity in order to better direct it. Si's telekinetic tug caught the woman off guard. Though it did not seperate her whip from her hand the sudden pull on her weapon threw her off balance and Master Maha took the opportunity to disarm her, leaping in close and slicing apart the handles of both whips with a few skillful spins of his blade.

Defeated, their would be assassin fell to her knees and lowered her head. She wished at the very least for an honorable death. A warrior's death. Master Maha had no intention of killing her, but her young son didn't know that. The boy rushed to his beaten mother and wrapped his arms around her, pleading for the Jedi not to kill his mom. Before Maha could explain himself the sense of sudden danger caused him to reignite and raise his lightsaber to knock aside an incoming blaster bolt. The commotion had awakened the woman's husband and the boy's father, Kade Dysar.

Seeing Maha's lightsaber and realizing then that the intruders were Jedi, Kade adjusted the aim of his blaster. Realizing that his palace had been surrounded, and that he was now faced with Jedi, Kade turned his blaster on himself, and squeezed off one round.

Maha was disappointed that they had been unable to capture Kade peacefully, however, to their surprise his wife and son thanked the Jedi for their efforts. Kade, it seemed, was just as much of a tyrant in his home life as he was among his people.

The woman was Yu Quan, though neither she, nor Si recognized the other. Before the Jedi left Panatha, Yu requested that they take her young son, Ganner, with them to become a Jedi himself.

The elimination of Kade was followed swiftly by Lun Quan taking over control of the Panatha military. While a good deal of displeasure with the Republic still existed on Panatha, the immediate threat of war had been dealt a significant blow with the loss of Kade. The PIM was now without a leader holding high office on Panatha and would need a good deal of time to reorganize if there was to be any further threat. In the meantime the Jedi would leave representatives with Senator Quan to watch over the situation and continue to assist him in maintaining the peace.

Constructing a Lightsaber (Age 18)

In the years following Panatha, Si began the process of constructing his own lightsaber. The weapon Master Maha had given him had been destroyed by his mother during their confrontation at Kade's Palace, and Si had determined that now was the time to fashion his own weapon. Maha and Master Thos helped Si collect the materials necessary to construct his Jedi weapon, but when it came to the crystals Si would be on his own.

Si spent many months in the Jedi Library, pouring over tomes and old holocrons, learning from some of the Order's most skilled former Masters as how to best construct a blade that would reflect Si's own skill and persona. One Jedi tome of interest presented ideal lightsaber hilt grips for practitioners of the six primary saber forms the Jedi used. Si noted the use of a higher grip on a Soresu practitioner's hilt, as the finesse of the form required a grip higher up for greater control when used with one hand. Si would come to use this in designing his own hilt.

However, most notable to Si was the datapad of Jedi Cay Qel-Droma in which Cay described the lightsaber as being "a very personal artifact of its wielder and a proud symbol of their commitment to the Jedi." At first Si was at a loss concerning how exactly to make his lightsaber a reflection of himself. He had never thought very long on the matter of his own personal identity.

For the last piece of his new lightsaber, Si would venture, as many Jedi had, to the crystal caves of the ice world Ilum. After landing among the snow drifts, Si made his way to the Temple the Jedi had built at the entrance of the crystal caves. The crystals of Ilum had the ability to collect and absorb the Force, which was what made them so useful in lightsaber construction. On such a dead world, Si could feel the Force presence of these crystals, like the beacon of a distant lighthouse piercing a thick fog. All Si would need to do would be to follow it to it's source.

The driving wind and snow impeded Si's progress slightly, though it wasn't long before Si made his way to the entrance of the Jedi Temple on Ilum. Si brushed off the snow and ice that had caked onto his robes, noting that he was not alone. This was not unusual, the Ilum Temple was used predominately by Jedi seeking to construct their lightsabers, and was often occupied by Padawans and Masters alike.

Si continued into the crystal caves where he chose a green Ilum crystal for his lightsaber, the color associated with a Jedi Consular. For nearly a month Si remained in the caves, meditating on his crystal and imbuing it with his own unique Force signature.

The Prodigal Knight (Age 20)

With his own lightsaber now completed, Master Maha decided it was about time for Si Quan to begin completing the Jedi Trials. The boy had already experienced a Trial of the Flesh in losing his best friend, but there were still three more to complete. Master Maha would not say exactly what the trials would entail, only that Si would need to call upon everything he had learned to prevail.

Si's first trial would come on Coruscant within the Jedi Temple's Jedi Trials Chamber. The chamber was an enormous room located at the heart of the Temple. The room was dimly lit and adorned with many bronzium statues of old Jedi Masters. Si wasn't quite sure what to expect here, but he didn't have to wait long. Shortly after entering the chamber, Si was confronted by a simulacrum, a realistic projection of an ancient Sith Lord. This particular Sith was garbed in all black robes and armor and curiously wore a Mandalorian mask over his face. Si Quan could not recognize who it was, but felt that to be hardly important as the old Jedi ignited a pair of lightsabers, one blue, one silver.

Si Quan's lightsaber training to this point, aside from the Shii-Cho he was taught as a Youngling, included some skill in Djem-So. However, Si prided himself most on his ability to use Soresu which Master Maha had instructed him on early in his training as a Padawan.

Si ignited his new lightsaber and spun it into a defensive Soresu stance... but the Sith didn't attack. Instead he stepped back, away from Si Quan and into the shadows where he seemed to disappear. What sort of ability is this, Si thought to himself as he moved forward cautiously. Si could feel nothing of his opponent until he heard the loud snap and hiss of his lightsabers just inches behind his back. Keeping his own blade in close to his body, Si was barely able to sweep the Sith's attack's aside with a quick stroke of his lightsaber.

The Sith attacked with a ferocious lightsaber form that Si had not encountered before. The form was chaotic and erratic and it took everything Si had to maintain his defenses against it. Soresu relied on Si being able to outlast his opponent, but following the Sith's barrage Si found that he himself was the one tiring just to guard himself. Si needed to think quickly on his feet and adjust his style. Quickly Si transitioned his style from Soresu to the more offensive Djem-So, in so doing he took advantage of the Sith's all out offense by striking at an opening in his defense.

Upon slashing the simulacrum across the chest it vanished from the Training Chamber. Si dropped to one knee, physically exhausted by the exertion. He had passed a difficult trial of skill, and more trials were still to come.

Confronting the Demon (Age 21)

Ever since the incident Si continued to follow the progress of the Jedi investigation into the disappearance of Miles Drake. Finally, after five long years it seemed that the Jedi had made a break in the case. Rumors overheard by a Jedi investigator in Onderon's capital of Iziz suggested that strange ships had been monitored entering and leaving the system, for the most part landing on the planet's nearby moon, Dxun. To the Jedi investigator, these rumors didn't seem too strange, as the jungle moon was a known hideaway for Mandalorian mercenaries. However, it was worth looking into.

The Jedi eventually detected a strange character skulking around Iziz. He followed him to his ship which took off for Dxun without transmitting any launch codes. The Jedi reported this back to the Onderon authorities before following to investigate. He was not heard from again. What peeked the interest of the Council on Coruscant was the investigator's description of the suspect. A tall man in black robes, wearing leather gloves over his hands and having pale yellow eyes.

Obviously nothing was certain, nor was it immediately assumed that this man was Alex Drake. Si, however, had heard all he needed to. What's more he feel that this was it. Master Maha was as cautious as the Council concerning this matter, telling Si to remain patient and to have faith in the wisdom of the Masters. Si conceded, but implored Maha to do his best to convince the Council to allow him to be a part of any Jedi investigations into the matter. Maha doubted the Council would allow it, considering the boy's closeness to the matter, but Maha agreed to lobby on his behalf.

Maha argued that taking up the assignment could prove to be a worth trial for his Padawan, and suggested to them that Si be allowed to join the team sent to investigate the Jedi disappearance on Onderon. The Council agreed. Si would be the youngest of a team of three Jedi including himself, a smart-mouthed Knight named Aiden James (or AJ) and a young Togruta Master named Takia Rossi.

This mission was Master Rossi's first as a Master and her inexperience was immediately apparent to Si. Master Maha was always cool, calm and collected, but Si could sense Takia's nervousness concerning her task. And if a Padawan could sense it, there was no doubt about it. Si did his best to project his own calm onto Takia and to reassure her. It was a strange sort of role reversal for Si, but one he took to rather naturally.

Upon arriving at Iziz the three Jedi met with the head of Onderon's Royal Guard. He provided the report given by the Jedi Investigator, an older Master named Nemo Sunry. Nemo's account provided some rough coordinates for where the suspect's craft had landed on Dxun, which would naturally be the first place the Jedi would look.

Following the coordinates provided, the Jedi found no sign of any star ships. It was possible that the Mandalorians had stolen them, picked the ships apart for spare parts... but Si suspected something far more foul at play here. As soon as he stepped out into the jungles of Dxun Si began to feel a deep, cold and uneasy sensation. It was a feeling he'd not encountered since his father's death on Tatooine... a feeling he now recognized as the dark side. What exactly it meant, he was not yet experienced enough to be certain of. It could be a forewarning of some danger, it could be the presence of some dark entity, to could be the echoes of some event long passed or a combination of the three.

Master Rossi and AJ felt the ominous presence of the dark side as well, and Takia immediately warned her Jedi companions to be on alert and to maintain their focus. Si attempted to calm himself and draw the light side of the Force in to himself, as he'd been trained to do and had done countless times before. However, with each attempt to draw on the Force the sickening, cold feeling of the dark side grew within Si. He had read and had been lectured at great length about the dark side, but this was his first real taste of it. The darkness truly did cloud the Force as the Masters had warned him.

Despite Si's inexperience, this was not the first time Takia or AJ had encountered the dark side, though neither had felt it as powerful as this before. Carefully Master Rossi centered herself, reaching out through the Force to attempt and locate the source of the dark power they were feeling. After some meditation Takia began to lead the Jedi deeper into the jungle.

Her senses led them to a clearing in which an imposing ziggurat made of blackened stone towered into the sky. It was clear to all three Jedi that this structure was the source of the darkness that plagued them.

"What is it?" Si asked, looking on in awe.

"A tomb?" AJ asked, turning toward Takia who responded with a nod.

"Most likely," the Togruta master surmised, "Strange the Council would not have mentioned something like this... unless they didn't know it was here. I've got a bad feeling about this. I think we might have to turn back, report this to the Council."

Si shook his head, "We can't. Nemo and Miles are here, I can feel it. If whoever kidnapped Miles now has Nemo then he knows that the rest of the Jedi will be following close behind him. This may be our only chance."

The mission had become something more dangerous then even Takia had anticipated and her confidence continued to waver. Her uncertainty of her own skills and her nervousness pressed her to retreat and leave this mission in more capable hands then her own. Si, however, was steadfast, urging Takia not to abandon the mission. AJ ultimately sided with the Padawan's line of thinking and Takia conceded to pressing forward.

Si had been a novice when it came to the dark side, but he had thought that the darkness he felt in the jungle was all the worse it would get. This he figured he could handle, even though it clouded his ability to call upon the Force some. Si was totally unprepared for the dark side saturation he experienced when he entered the tomb. Immediately he began to hyperventilate as a sharp pain knifed its way through his head. By the time the Jedi had reached the first antechamber of the tomb Si fell to his knees.

AJ doubled back, helping Si maintain his balance by throwing the Padawan's arm around his shoulders, "This is dangerous," AJ commented, "the dark side of the Force surrounds this place. I don't think the kid can handle it." AJ paused, looking into Si's eyes, "Just breathe, kid. Focus on the Force within yourself..."

Si had always trained to draw the Force in from around him, but now that supply was tainted. Focusing on the light side still within himself sounded simple enough, but considering the circumstances it was not easy task. There was a great deal of anger in this place. It was a hatred that overpowered and blinded Si from any sense of focus like a searing light right into the retina.

"We should not have come here," Takia said nervously, "we need to leave while we still can."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that..."

The voice came from behind the Jedi. Startled, they turned to face the imposing figure of Alex Drake, draped in black robes. His hood was pulled back now, revealing his once long dark hair as now silvery white. His skin was as pale and patchy as a corpse and his eyes seemed to glow in the darkness a faint color like that of molten durasteel. As he moved his hands they gave off a faint, but audible, mechanical whir, suggesting that his limbs were no longer of flesh and blood.

AJ set Si on his feet and produced his lightsaber. Takia quickly followed. Si steadied himself, rubbing his temples and attempting desperately to regain his hold on the Force, like frantically scraping at the smooth rock face of cliff, trying to find some kind of purchase with which to climb up out of the darkness.

"You..." AJ growled, attempting to control his emotions upon seeing the face of Alex Drake again despite the oppression of the dark side within the tomb.

"Today must be my lucky day," Alex croaked with a smug, self satisfied grin on his face, "three fresh test subjects... I'd prefer them to be live subjects, but I suspect you won't make that easy on me."

"AJ! Get Si out of here!" Takia called out, "I'll hold him off while you-"

Before Master Rossi could finish her sentence Alex seemed to disappear from in front of them. Before Si or AJ could even register that he had moved, Alex's lightsaber was igniting and carving a path of seared gore through Master Rossi's mid section. In a flash of blue light it was over and the young Togruta master crumpled to the cold stone floor of the tomb in two pieces.

Si Quan had seen this before. He had no idea how he was able to do it, but Alex's speed was off the charts, "He's too fast, we can't fight him," Si said, straightening himself up.

"Keep it together, kid!" AJ snapped back, "dark side or no, he's still only human."

AJ's comment induced a loud, long cackle from Alex, "Is that what you think?"

In seconds Alex moved in on AJ. Defiantly AJ spun his lightsaber up, locking it with Alex's and pressing hard into the former Master. Alex shot AJ a twisted grin before raining blows down on the brash Knight which fell like a deluge of harsh blue light. AJ was pressed into a quick back pedal, straining to fend off Alex's barrage.

Finally, Si was able to regain his center and call upon the power of the light side still within himself, however faint, to regain his composure. Si immediately ignited his green lightsaber and preformed a quick Force Jump to enter the fray with AJ and Alex. Si Quan's Soresu proved to be an asset in fending off the quick strikes of Alex's blade, but ultimately useless in creating any sort of offensive. All Si could do was guard himself. Seeing Si as little more then a nuisance, Alex batted the boy aside with a blast of telekinetic power.

"There are others coming," AJ warned, his voice wavering under his fatigue, "This is your only chance, get out of here while you can, Si!"

Si didn't want to leave AJ to near certain death, but if he stayed it was likely they would both fall, especially if Alex had back up. With slight hesitation Si nodded and hurried for the exit, the sound of clashing lightsabers behind him suddenly halting as he passed back into the sun of Dxun.

Si Quan in Wonderland

Darkness. Nothing but endless darkness, contorting its way around Si and permeating every fiber of his being. It is such a lonely and helpless feeling, like being naked in the cold. There Si Quan lay, prone and buried in despair until a familiar voice coaxed his consciousness from the abyss.

"Take my hand, son."

Si could now perceive a blurry shape emerging from the darkness in front of his eyes. Uncertain of what it was, but obeying the voice, Si extended his own hand to that which was now before him. Taking hold of his wrist, the hand in the darkness lifted Si back to his feet so that now he was face to face with Jal Ando.

"Dad?"

"I'm surprised to see you here," Jal responded, "at least, surprised to see you so soon. How did you die?"

"Die?" Si repeated curiously, "why would you think I died? You're the one that's supposed to be dead."

Jal chuckled slightly, "Indeed. If I'm dead, and you're here, that would lead me to believe that you're dead too, son."

Si struggled to remember what events had led him here into this dark void. He recalled a fight with Alex and running into the jungles of Dxun, but after that...

"Ah, it doesn't matter," Jal interupted, "I'm just happy to see you again. I should probably say I'm sorry..."

"Dad, I-"

"Nah, you don't have to say anything. I had it coming. I just regret you and your mother having to suffer through it."

There was a long silence, Si's thoughts wrestled with what to say to reassure his father that he was alright. Finally Jal broke the tension, "So, I see you kept my pearl."

Si smiled ever so slightly and gave a nod before sinking back into a fog of thought.

"What are you so afraid of, son?"

Si's head lifted and his gaze met his father's. He was startled by the sudden forwardness of Jal's question, "Afraid? What makes you think I'm afraid?"

"Because you're still here, in this dank dark pit of god knows what feeling sorry for yourself," Jal shot back, "As soon as you walked into that tomb you let this blackness fill your insides and now you can't even tell if you're alive or dead."

Si was at a loss for words and it took a moment before he could collect his thoughts, "The dark side... Alex, he's too strong. I'm sorry Miles, I've failed. I'm ashamed to call myself a Jedi."

Jal shook his head slowly, "There's no shame in failing, son. There is only shame if you refuse to pick yourself up again."

Si smiled and gave his father a nod, "But, what can I do?"

"Well for starters... you can-"

"WAKE UP!"

A hard slap to the face thrust Si Quan's consciousness back into the world around him. His eyes opened to see Master Maha's face staring down at him and all around him were the insides of a star ship.

"Master!? How?"

"Slow down. Take it slow," Maha warned pressing a moist washcloth against Si's forehead.

"Master, it's Alex. Master Rossi and AJ, they-"

"We know," Maha interrupted, "You're lucky to be in one piece. An Onderonian scout found you passed out in the jungle, near death from exposure. You've been out for at least three days. The Jedi party sent after you searched the tomb and found the remains of the others, but no sign of Alex. We were afraid he had taken you with him."

"Don't worry, Master. Next time, I'll be ready."

[Cain]

Bio: (continued)

Jedi Master Teiko (Age 22)

Following his confrontation with Alex Drake on Dxun, it was deemed by the Council that Si Quan had adequately completed the Jedi Trials. Si's Trial of the Flesh had occurred through a combination of witnessing the murder of his father and dealing with the loss of his best friend Miles. Through both of these painful events Si Quan had persevered and come out on the other side a stronger Jedi and person.

The Trial of Skill came in the Jedi Trials Chamber when Si defeated the simulacrum of an ancient Sith Lord. Then there was Si's most recent mission to Dxun. His confrontation with Alex Drake, a Dark Jedi Master of superior skill would be an adequate Trial of Courage. As for the Trial of Spirit, Si's vision of his father while he lay dying in the jungles certainly qualified.

Upon imparting the details of all he'd experienced on Dxun, at the age of twenty two Si Quan was knighted as a full member of the Jedi Order.

Si was now more determined then ever to better himself. He had failed Takia and AJ, but there still may have been hope for Miles. Master Maha recognized Si's determination. As a Knight now, Maha saw the need for Si to experience a different kind of training then he would receive on Coruscant. Maha told Si to go to Ruusan and seek out Jedi Master Teiko, the Jedi who had originally discovered and instructed him.

Si expected that any Master old enough to have discovered and instructed Maha likely wouldn't be especially spry, but perhaps his wealth of knowledge would make up for it. Si traveled to Ruusan and began his search for the elusive Jedi Watchmen. Si made his way to where Maha had told him he would find Master Teiko only to stumble upon a tiny hut amidst the hills of Ruusan.

Si approached the hut, but the only thing around seemed to be the Master's pet rabbit. Si had to bend his six foot- three inch frame over to knock on the small door. There was no response from the inside but instead a grumbling coming from Si Quan's left. Si was startled to find that the small white rabbit was now up on its hind legs and talking to him. The creature was a Kushiban, something Si Quan had never seen before. It grumbled at Si in a rough, scratchy voice which had obviously been aged by the pipe he now placed between his lips.

Si sat down and tilted his head, not understanding the stream of words the Kushiban was yelling at him, "Uhhh... I'm sorry, I don't quite understand that language. I'm looking for a Jedi Master."

The Kushiban responded with a growl, picking up the walking stick that had been set against the small hut and quickly smacking Si over the head with it.

"Ow!"

"I suppose I should be made to change the words I'm speaking just because of your ignorance," the Kushiban rasped, his sentences book ended by puffs of smoke from his pipe, "You damned humans are all the same. Speak a word other then Basic and you all have the same moronic, dumbfounded looks on your faces."

"I apologize to have disturbed you," Si Quan answered, still rubbing his head, "but as I said, I'm looking for a Jedi Master Teiko."

The Kushiban lashed forward and struck Si in the head again.

"Ow!"

"I am Master Teiko, you dolt," the fluffy Jedi Master said, retrieving and wrapping his tiny robes around himself, "I suppose you're the one Maha sent here."

"Uhhh... yes?"

"What's wrong, boy, did you suddenly forget why you're here?" Teiko asked, rubbing the long hairs on his chin, "well... we've already established that you aren't the sharpest vibrosword on the rack, is there anything you CAN do well?"

Si cleared his throat and quickly scurried back to his feet, "Yes, Master. I am more than proficient in the Resiliency Form: Soresu."

"Hmph!" Teiko chuckled loadly, plucking his pipe from his lips, "Is that so? Well then perhaps you'd care to show me."

Si stood, confused a moment. How was he supposed to fight this creature that was hardly two feet tall with his lightsaber? "Me... fight you?"

"What's the matter, Princess, afraid I'll muss up your skirt?" Teiko retorted sarcastically, "Why don't you grow a pair and show me how your Soresu matches my Ataru." Teiko then twisted the top of his walking stick and the knob came free. A short, green lightsaber blade then emerged from the wooden knob which Teiko quickly spun into the opening stance of Ataru.

Si Quan scowled. If this overgrown house pet wanted to mix things up then it couldn't be helped if Teiko got hurt. Si gave a sharp nod and pulled his own lightsaber from his belt, igniting his own green blade with a snap and hiss.

In a furry blur Teiko leaped into the air, spinning and contorting as he did, his lightsaber forming a swathe of green light all around Si who found his Soresu unable to keep up. As Si struggled to keep up suddenly Teiko was on his shoulder. Then the other. Then the old Kushiban had rolled his way along Si's long arms and snatched his lightsaber from his hand. With an overpowering slam of Force energy Si was then pinned against the ground where Master Teiko held both blades crossed over each other against Si's neck.

"Hmph!" Teiko turned off both lightsabers and cast Si Quan's back down toward him, "Your so called Soresu skills are really quite pathetic. It's no wonder you've been so useless to your comrades."

This comment lit a fire in the otherwise calm Si Quan. Summoning his lightsaber back to his hand Si attempted to force himself back up with the Force only to have Teiko counter and overpower him again, slamming him back against the ground.

"Hahahaha! Ah, to be young and foolish again," Teiko chuckled, recollecting his pipe and wrapping his furry lips back around it, "Some Jedi you are, so easily goaded by childish prating. That kind of thing might fly on Coruscant, but you'll need thicker skin than that to be considered a Jedi around here, boy."

Si took a deep breath and nodded. Sensing his calm, Teiko let up on the pressure holding Si to the ground, "I understand, Master."

"Good! Than it can begin."

Becoming the Eye of the Storm (Age 22 - 29)

And so, Si Quan's training under the surly, yet sagacious, Jedi Master Teiko began. For Si, those first few months were the worst. Teiko insisted on put his pupil through strict, rigorous physical training in order to, as the fluffy white Kushiban put it, "Man up" Si Quan. For most of his Jedi life to this point Si had more or less resigned himself to the life of a Jedi Consular, spending his time studying in the library rather then training in the field and even giving his lightsaber the green crystal associated with Consulars. Teiko saw this as a waste of talent. Though Si's lightsaber skills still lacked a great deal of polish, there was potential in the boy to be great. He was already a physically imposing man with a great affinity for the Force, with a little commitment to his training he could become a truly formidable Jedi.

But, before any of that could happen, the slightly doughy Si Quan needed to get into shape. Si's first months in the hills of Ruusan were spent running up and down the mountains (often touting Master Teiko on his head), and practicing rigorous saber sequences... all before breakfast.

By his fifth month with Teiko, Si Quan finally began to become used to his daily routine. PT in the mornings, meditation in the afternoons, more PT before sundown. Now he was ready. One day, before sunset, after gathering water from the well at the bottom of the hill, Teiko sat down with his pupil beneath the shade of a tree to instruct him about Soresu. In five months this was the first time Teiko had actually mentioned anything about a specific lightsaber form or skill.

"If you wish to master Form III then first you must master yourself," Teiko instructed, "Resiliency is endurance. Endurance not just of the body, but of the mind as well. Amidst the chaos of battle, a Soresu master is steadfast, calm. He is the peaceful eye at the center of a raging storm, he is a lone beacon in an infinite dark."

Si listened and considered his master's lessons. He understood now the need for the training Master Teiko had put him through. He had a great deal of endurance of the mind, but his body being quick to fatigue would always hinder his abilities. In order to master a lightsaber form, all these aspects had to be one, mind, body, blade and the Force.

Teiko had no remotes for Si Quan to practice his saber work with, so instead they would use what nature provided. Si knew that the rumbles of an impending storm meant that he would have to meet with his Master out in the courtyard with his lightsaber ready.

"Think of the rain as an onslaught of enemy weapons," Teiko told Si, "you cannot allow a single drop to touch your skin. Become the eye of the storm..."

"But Master," Si protested, "That's impossible! Even a hundred well trained soldiers with blasters could only get off one, maybe two hundred blaster shots per second. With the rain there must be thousands of droplets..."

"No!" Teiko scolded, giving the boy a swift correction with the knob of his walking stick.

"Ow!"

"It is absolutely possible! It is only impossible in your mind. Trust yourself. Trust your blade. Trust in the Force. When there is chaos all around you, no matter how intense, a true Jedi, with the Force as his ally, is always in control."

Si nodded, still somewhat unsure. He would give it his best shot. Si closed his eyes and opened himself up to the Force before igniting his lightsaber and spinning it into Soresu's opening stance. The first rain drops came slowly. Si could feel them encroaching through the Force and his lightsaber blade moved to intercept them, swiping back and forth in short, quick strokes.

Then, as if Master Teiko himself had lifted the flood gates, the sky opened up and a deluge poured down all around Si. For about the first second Si's lightsaber moved to catch each drop, his green blade hissing and steaming from the water instantly vaporizing on contact. However, as quickly as it had begun Si's defenses were penetrated and the rain began to soak the young Knight.

Out of breath, soaking wet and defeated, Si lowered his weapon, "There's too much... I can't..."

"Can't!? Ha!" Teiko retorted from under the protection of his small home's doorway, "Can't is only in your mind. You except defeat before you even begin, so how then do you possibly expect to succeed?"

In addition to his lightsaber instruction, Master Teiko made sure to impart to Si Quan some knowledge of the Force. Si demonstrated a natural talent for using telekinesis, but like most of his abilities, this talent lacked polish. Teiko became aware or Si's affinity for this aspect of the Force during another failed attempt at using Soresu on the rain. This time Si had been able to hold back the barrage of droplets for a good ten seconds before he began to perceive his defenses failing. Si could anticipate raindrops coming in dangerously close that he may not be able to move quickly enough to intercept, and, if he somehow did, there would be no way he would be able to get his lightsaber back up over his head in time.

In frustration, Si used the Force as he had done as a Padawan, imagining a shell of Force energy expanding out around him to push back the encroaching water. The result was a crude pulse of the Force which visibly disturbed the falling rain, keeping it at bay long enough for Si to last a few more seconds before his Soresu was ultimately breached.

Master Teiko took notice to Si's ability to use the Force in this way, and the next day he set about teaching Si how to use it effectively. The fluffy Jedi Master led his apprentice out into the forest for this particular part of his training, and by led it would be more accurate to say that the Kushiban sat on the head of his comparatively large learner and instructed where he should go. This wasn't unusual as Teiko often rode along during Si's physical training, however on this day Teiko led the two down a path different from their normal route.

"Where are we going, Master?" Si asked as he inspected his surroundings.

Teiko cleared his throat, lighting his pipe and sticking it on his lower lip, "Training," he replied simply. Si knew better at this point than to question his master further. Finally Teiko instructed Si to stop when they came to clearing, it was a low lying meadow surrounded by willow trees in bloom. The wind that funneled through the valley here swept up the white pedals from the willow blossoms and scattered them across the grass like a spring snow.

"What are we doing here, Master?"

Teiko jumped down from his perch on Si Quan's head, only his long ears poking up from beneath the tall grass as he made his way to a rock beneath one of the willow trees. With a labored grunt the old Jedi boosted himself out of the grass and onto the rock, "During your time here, your training has been predominately focused on your saber work, but I have also been observing your abilities in the Force. You have a talent Si, your ability to use the Force to alter the environment around you is unquestioned, but such talent is meaningless without control."

Si scratched his head, slightly confused, "What do you refer to, Master?"

"Force Repulse," Teiko shot back. Si's blank expression in response drew a chuckle from the Kushiban, "You might know it simply as telekinesis, something you've been taught to use since you were a pup. While it is true that most Jedi have some talent for telekinesis, to use the Force to create a visible pulse of energy is no ordinary skill."

The light bulb went on and Si suddenly realized what Teiko was talking about. He had used the Force to keep the rain off him the other day. It was nothing more complicated than a Force Push in all directions, "I don't know, Master, Force Repulse doesn't seem that complicated to me... what more do I need to know?"

Teiko grunted his disapproval, "There is always more to be learned. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. A Jedi always seeks to improve themselves through knowledge and training."

"But Force Repulse is just a Force Push..." Si was interrupted by the swift correction of Teiko's walking stick, "Ow!"

"Force Repulse is not just a Push, boy," Teiko retorted, "Repulse requires it's user to draw in the Force before pushing it outwards, gathering energy before unleashing it's strength. More than just a Force Push. If you could master this ability it could serve as an additional line of defense on top of your Soresu."

Si nodded, "How do I begin?"

"You say that when you use telekinesis you envision what you wish the Force to do," Teiko began, "first, you start by seeing the Force gathering to you from all around," Teiko paused, looking up past Si at the flower pedals that filled the air all around them, "envision bringing each and every pedal that floats on the air in to you with the Force, then you release that energy back out onto your surroundings."

Teiko's instructions caused Si to take pause and observe all the pedals around him. There had to be thousands of them in the air, though this time Si thought better of complaining that there were too many.

With a deep breath Si moved to the center of the clearing where he closed his eyes and began to concentrate on the Force all around him. He understood now why Teiko had brought him to this spot to train. Being as visual as he was with his use of telekinesis, the pedals would serve as a good tangible basis for the Force all around him. Si began to envision the pedals all moving in to him, compelled by the Force. Slowly the pedals began to deviate from their paths on the air and swirl in toward Si. As the Force built around him, the pressure became greater and greater until Si could no longer control it. Quite suddenly Si lost his control, and the Force exploded outwards, flattening the grass all around him. Clearly he would need more practice on control if he were to master this ability, and that would take time.

In the following years Master Teiko began to ratchet up the intensity of Si Quan's training. More then simply training his body, Master Teiko began to push Si into practicing harmony between his body and the Force, "As a Jedi your body and therefore your blade are only extensions of the Force," Teiko would say, "you must learn to use all three in harmony."

Slowly, Si's routine of PT and meditation began to overlap each other, with meditation taking place during practice of saber sequences or while balancing on one leg for hours on end. Eventually there became no distinction between the two, and every physical activity Si was asked to do involved focus and meditation. Practicing this encouraged Si to utilize the Force along with his body to accomplish feats of physical prowess which may have been impossible otherwise, this ability was known in Jedi circles as Force Valor.

One such example was the lesson Teiko gave at the fallen tree. After a particularly fierce storm the night before, a five story tall tree had been uprooted and fallen at the base of Master Teiko's hill, blocking the path into the forest. Teiko saw this as an opportunity to practice what he had been teaching Si.

"Here," Teiko said, leading Si down to where the tree had fallen, "I want you to move this tree from the path," As Si Quan sized up the tree, determining how he'd go about it, Master Teiko continued, "I'd like you to move it without telekinesis or cutting it into smaller pieces. Lift it out of the way."

"Is that even possible?" Si questioned, inspecting the tree further, "I mean, it's awfully big."

"Hmph! Have you learned nothing, boy? Size is meaningless. Let go of your conscious preconceptions. Trust the Force."

Si nodded. This time as he considered the task presented to him he truly believed that through the Force he could accomplish this goal. First he concentrated, drawing the Force in to his body, flowing through him and bringing it to his limbs to aid his muscles. Si gripped the trunk then with his hands and firmly planted his heels into the stone walkway. Drawing on the Force to aid him Si slowly lifted the tree up from the path. Then with a grunt and a burst of energy he heaved the trunk off the path. It crashed and shook the ground on impact. Taking a deep breath Si centered himself once again. With his eyes closed he was unable to see the extremely slight smile on the face of his master.

Si's control over his body and the Force greatly improved his abilities with Soresu, but it also yielded some unintended benefits. Through near constant physical and mental training, Si had begun to develop a tolerance for pain and hardship beyond that of most normal Jedi. It was an ability that would prove useful in the not too distant future.

After a great deal of training and considerable growth, Si Quan had spent nearly seven years on Ruusan with Master Teiko. Even he could not guess to where the time had gone, it certainly was not his intention for his training to take so long. Miles was still out there, after all. But, if facing Alex Drake in person had taught Si one thing, it was that he would need all the training he could get if he was ever to hope to save his friend.

Finally the night came... it was early in the morning before the sunrise when the rumblings of thunder stirred Si Quan from his sleep. As was no more then a reflex now, Si sat up from his bed and collected his lightsaber. Naked from the waist up and barefoot, Si wandered into the center of the courtyard in front of the tiny hut he and Master Teiko called home. There, with eyes closed and lightsaber in hand, he stood and waited. With calm and poise, Si drew the Force in from all around him, concentrating it on every muscle, allowing it to flow freely through him and to his lightsaber hand.

The pressure in the air dropped and Si's lightsaber snapped to life, his eyes never opening. A streak of lightning skewered the sky and with a low rumble of thunder the first drops of rain began to descend into the hills. Si Quan's lightsaber darted from side to side, smooth and controlled, catching each droplet of water before it could contact his bare skin. Then, the storm. Maintaining his composure, Si's lightsaber sprung to life, twisting and flashing with blinding speed and razor sharp accuracy to intercept every drop of water. Si's body, imbued with the Force, also twisted and contorted to avoid any rain that might find its way through his lightsaber's safety net. There was no thinking, only action, and before Si knew it the rain suddenly began to let up.

As his blade batted aside the last drop of rain, Si's eyes slowly opened. His body was slick with the sheen of sweat, but not rain.

"How was that, Master?"

Standing in the doorway, Master Teiko gave a nod, "It is finished, then."

The Indomitable Ganner Dysar (Age 30 - 36)

Upon his return to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Master Maha hardly recognized his former student. Si Quan had gone from a shy book worm Padawan to a formidable, muscluar, long haired Jedi Knight in seven short years. The first thing Si needed was a hair cut, and the second was a good meal that in no way contained any rice.

After reacquainting himself with the Council, it was decided that Si was at last ready for a Padawan of his own, and the Council had just the Padawan for him. Si's half brother, Ganner Dysar, had grown from that toddler clinging to his mother on Panatha into a brilliant young Force adept. Ganner demonstrated the kind of genius in the Force that was seen only once in a century. Ganner had everything going for him and worst of all, he knew it. Though only sixteen years old, the boy's talent had made him flagrantly arrogant. His ability to show up even experienced Jedi Knights with his knowledge made him not a very popular candidate to take on as a Padawan, and in fact Ganner's first Master had declined to continue his training. Si was unaware that Ganner was in fact his half brother and wasn't too thrilled to jump at the chance to train him himself. However, the Council determined that Ganner was just the kind of student for Si and so the match was set.

From the very start Ganner's cockiness was a bit off-putting, but Si couldn't help but admire the boy's talents. The kid was good. He picked up on everything Si taught him and his work ethic was second to none. Their first mission together was a simple arbitration of negotiations between diplomats on Empress Teta. The dispute was long and tedious and though Si was no fan of such assignments himself, he felt it was important for his Padawan to understand that Jedi life is not all lightsabers and blaster bolts. To Si's amazement his young Padawan interjected on the dispute, proposing a brilliant and elegant solution which favored both sides. Si was surprised by how swiftly the diplomatic aspect of Jedi life came to Ganner, but ultimately he was proud of his student.

Despite Ganner's quirks, over the years and through many missions together he and Si Quan became the closest of friends. There was a deep respect between the two, and even though Ganner was fourteen years Si Quan's junior and still a Padawan, their relationship was more like that of equals. Both Si and Ganner would learn from each other. Many of the Masters praised Si for his training of Ganner, though Si would always redirect the credit to his Padawan. He was destined to be a great Jedi indeed.

Crucitorn (Age 36)

After Ganner Dysar had become a Knight himself, he and Si Quan continued to work as a team on missions together. One such assignment was to the junk yard world of Raxis Prime. The Republic had recently received reports of strange vessels in the Raxis system, Mandalorian ships were gathering over Raxis Prime in large numbers. Typically Raxis Prime was frequented only by Rodians, Jawas, and other salvagers. Such large numbers of Mandalorians was, if nothing else, suspicious.

Fearing that bringing Republic warships into the system may invoke the hostilities of the Mandalorians, and not yet having any evidence of foul play, the Senate requested that the Jedi covertly investigate the matter. There was a good deal of danger involved in such a mission, which was why Si and Ganner were selected.

In order to maintain a low profile, Si and Ganner would travel to the Raxis system from Rodia on board one of the shuttles that ferried salavagers between the two systems. The two Epicanthix Jedi certainly stood out amongst the Rodians, but being on board their ship would at least allow them to enter the system unnoticed.

As their shuttle exited hyperspace over Raxis Prime, Si almost instantly perceived a disturbance in the Force. There was a dark presence here, one Si could not help but feel was very familiar. Ganner too had felt the touch of the dark side within the Raxis system, but did not recognize it as Si had. Regardless, both Jedi realized then that their mission perhaps held more inherent danger then they had first anticipated. The Mandalorians were indeed gathering over the planet, and it seemed that the dark side of the Force was at work here too.

Upon landing on the planet, Si and Ganner discovered the Mandalorians were using one Raxis Prime's many factories, which had once been used to manufacture starships during the Great Sith Wars, as a base of operations. Over the hundreds of years since the wars, the factories had been stripped of their machinery, and were now little more than iron and durasteel skeletons rising up from heaps of twisted metal. The Jedi approached cautiously, watching the mercenaries come and go. Most were Mandalorian, if they could even still be called as much. While they wore the helmets and armor of Mandalorians there was no way to tell if they were the real deal, or just grave robbers.

Only one of the mercs wore no helmet, a man with a heavily scarred face and a dead right eye. Si and Ganner overheard a conversation this merc was having over a holo communicator, though they were too far away to discern the identity of the holo projection he was speaking to until he referred to him by name. "Master Drake".

Alex Drake had at last reared his ugly head again. It was the Dark Jedi Master who was behind the mercenaries gathering over Raxis Prime. Si Quan didn't know what Alex intended, but this was definitely bad news. The Council would have to be informed at once. Si sent Ganner ahead to the shuttle to send a transmission back to Coruscant while he remained to gather any additional information that he could.

Not long after Ganner had left, Si's senses were suddenly overwhelmed by a warning of danger. All he had time to do was to throw up a barrier through the Force before a frag grenade went off behind him. The barrier was able to block the shrapnel from the grenade, but the concussive force was only dampened, and still had enough power to fling Si forward. Collecting himself quickly, Si stood up to find he had been out flanked and surrounded by the mercenaries.

The Jedi was captured and brought into the heart of the factory, below the surface of Raxis Prime. The room where Si was being held was dark, lit only be a few dim bulbs that hung from the ceiling. There Si was shackled to the wall, and brought face to face with Alex Drake.

"Ah... the one that got away..." Alex croaked, stepping into the light.

"Where's Miles!?" Si snapped back quickly.

Alex responded with only a light chuckle. As his yellow eyes darted up and met with Si's, the young Jedi suddenly felt his blood go cold, and his breath shorten. Images began to flash in his head, memories he had thought buried long ago. Si found himself back outside of the Krayt Dragon's Den where his father had been murdered. He watched up close this time as the tragic events of that day unfolded before his eyes for a second time. The memories caused Si to physically shake from the fear, his breaths becoming sharper and shorter.

It was Si's worst day, but this time, after murdering Jal, the bounty hunter turned his attention to the older Si Quan who stood watching the scene in horror. The Mandalorian drew his vibrosword and slowly stalked forward. Si attempted to run, but his feet stuck to the desert sand as if they'd been in dried duracreet. Si was helpless as the Mandalorian moved in and impaled Si Quan through the abdomen with is blade.

Si knew that these memories were being induced by Alex, who was utilizing the dark side of the Force to torture him. Even so, the pain felt real, and Si let loose an abbreviated grunt as the sword sliced through him and the air in his lungs suddenly escaped. The Mandalorian left Si there where he stood, still unable to move. It seemed like hours, but within Alex's Memory Walk, who knows how much time had actually passed. Si struggled through each and every second to try and bear the pain. Just as Si felt he might be able to endure, the sands of the desert around him began to move. Slowly, what appeared to be clones of the bounty hunter that had killed his father began to rise up from the dunes like corpses in a horror film, each drawing a vibroblade and moving in on Si as the first had.

One by one, Si was turned into a human pin cushion. Just as Si would begin to think he had reached his limit, and death would mercifully take him, the Mandalorians seemed to know, and would stop to wait for him to recover before continuing.

For almost an entire week Alex kept Si Quan in this hell. His minimal needs for food and water were only barely met in short, dazed intervals of relief where Si was only half conscious. Alex didn't want to kill Si, he wanted to break him. Lesser Jedi had crumbled quickly under such torment, yet Si Quan endured. Finally there came a point during his torture that Si's mind went numb. In that moment, Si recalled the sound of his father's voice, and his words, "What are you so afraid of, son? You're still here, in this dank dark pit of god knows what feeling sorry for yourself. You let this blackness fill your insides and now you can't even tell if you're alive or dead."

With this, Si came upon the realization that to survive he would need to take his destiny into his own hands. He could no longer allow fear and pain to drag him down. Instead he would embrace the pain. Where others might be rendered useless, Si would be made stronger.

With his new found resolve, Alex found himself unable to break Si's will before Ganner returned to Raxis Prime with the Republic and the Jedi...

Raxus Prime (Age 36)

Along with the Republic military, the Jedi sent a large portion of its best Knights and Masters to quell the uprising at Raxus Prime. Ganner Dysar was among them. When he had found his master had been captured he returned to Coruscant to gather back up. Now it was time to rescue Si.

The Jedi and Republic forces on the ground were able to storm the factory. There they found Si Quan, and Alex Drake. Faced with so many Masters, Alex chose to flee the factory, leaving Si behind. There the Republic recovered him and took him to a medical frigate to bring him back to health.

The combined efforts of Udin Thos' healing abilities and a good bacta tank had Si back on his feet after a few weeks, but unfortunately the battle was still far from over. The flagship in the Raxus fleet was an old Republic Cruiser where Alex was aiding his forces with Battle Meditation, and had been holding the Republic at bay. The Jedi would need to board Alex's ship and capture or kill the Dark Jedi Master if the Republic's forces were to succeed.

Si Quan, Ganner, and the rest of the Jedi strike team joined the Republic forces in Aurek strikefighters to attempt to board the ship. Despite the Republic's superior numbers, the enemy fighters attacked in perfect unison and with ruthless efficiency.

Several Jedi and Republic pilots lost their lives on the approach to the Republic Cruiser The Tempest. Among those who were able to land in the ship's hanger were Si and Ganner Dysar. The hanger was occupied by some of Alex's top Mandalorian mercenaries, he had anticipated the Jedi's intervention. Staring down the barrel of ten blasters, it was suggested that the Jedi attempt to find an alternate route to the bridge. Si told the others to go ahead, he would hold off the Mandalorians. After a bit of protest from the other Masters, Ganner reassured them that Si could handle himself.

The Jedi left Si with the Mandalorians whose leader, a foul snake of a man named Drak'o Lordst, took the gesture of leaving just one Jedi Knight to deal with them as unacceptably insulting. Drak'o was the only Mandalorian who did not wear a helmet. Drak'o's face was rough and pock marked with scars, one particularly jagged gash ran over a dead eye on the right side of his face which sat in its socket, a glassy white color, "Do you have any idea how many Jedi I've killed, boy?"

Si Quan didn't respond, he only smiled at the hardened mercenary before gently closing his eyes and drawing on the power of the Force.

"Kill him, then take care of his friends," Drak'o ordered, "They can't have gotten far."

The mercs in front stepped forward, kneeling down on a knee so that those behind could also have a clear shot at the Jedi. Their armor smacking against the durasteel paneled floor reverberated around the open hanger. Then, the storm. A rain of blaster bolts descended on Si Quan whose lightsaber twisted back and forth through the air, flicking aside each bolt that came within close proximity to his body. As the Mandalorians continued to pour the blaster fire on, slowly the redirected bolts from Si's lightsaber were picking off the mercenaries.

Drak'o watched in dumbstruck awe of the speed with which Si Quan moved his lightsaber. When it began to become apparent that the Mandalorian's blasters were not going to penetrate the Jedi's defenses, Drak'o slithered away from the conflict.

Most of the mercenaries hit by returning blaster bolts were only wounded, though a few had suffered mortal injuries. The groans of the injured convinced the final two Mandalorians to stop their fire and draw their vibroblades. They were smart enough to realize just shooting at the Jedi wasn't going to work.

Si's eyes were still closed, his breath steady and controlled as the remaining Mandalorians approached. He could feel the frustration in his opponents and also their apprehension at having to continue the fight. Mandalorians had honor, but as best Si could tell these were just hired guns in dusty Mandalorian armor, and throwing their lives away was not high on their to do lists. At least one of the merc's thoughts were weighing heavy on his own family for whom he'd taken this job to support.

Si reached out to the mercs with the light side of the Force that flowed through him, passing his feelings of calm and peace on to his would be attackers, "Lower your weapons," Si said with a slight wave of his hand. The mercenaries hesitated, but obeyed, "Return to your starships. Leave this system and go back to your families."

With little hesitation this time the mercenaries complied, abandoning the hanger and heading for their ships. Letting his lightsaber slip back into it's hilt, Si took a deep breath before hurrying off to catch up with the others on the bridge.

As the blast doors leading to the bridge of The Tempest slid back Si found two Jedi still standing amidst several bodies strewn about the floor. One of the Jedi was being lifted off the ground, his neck crushed with a sickening series of pops before his limp corpse was tossed aside, discarded like old trash. Now only Ganner remained standing. His opponent who had just crushed the life out of that poor Knight was a young man Si recognized instantly. Miles.

Miles was garbed in simple black robes, much like his father who sat in silent mediation before the bridge's viewport behind him. Through the transparasteel Raxus Prime could be seen clearly with the Republic and Mercenary fleets exchanging fire. Swarms of fighters danced around one another, the occasional flash of an exploding ship outshining all the stars far behind.

"Master, it's about time," Ganner called back to Si, not once taking his eyes off of the Dark Jedi in front of him, "Quickly, we can take him together."

"Miles..." Si uttered, not even registering what Ganner had said. The look in Si's eyes upon seeing his friend in this state was one of abject horror. The dark side was oppressive on board that ship, but in the presence of Alex and his son, it was suffocating. Si had felt it before within the tomb on Dxun. That time he was not strong enough to handle such dark power and was summarily overwhelmed by the sheer presence of the Dark Jedi Master. The awe of seeing Miles as he was almost caused Si to falter again, but he quickly recollected himself. The Force here had been tainted, but the light still resided strongly within Si and Ganner. He would trust in himself and in the Force.

"Si Quan," Miles responded, flashing cold yellow eyes similar to his father's up at Si. Miles' flesh was pasty and bore the hideous scars of years of savage beatings. It was clear to Si that Miles had been unable to withstand Alex's tortures, as he had, "my old friend, have you come to take my father from me as well?"

Si shook his head fiercely, "Miles, what are you talking about? Look at yourself..."

"Father has given me a gift..." Despite Miles' words his expression was one of deep melancholy. His flesh hung from his bones, stretched and scored by the dark side making him appear at least twenty years older than he was. His eye sockets were dark and sunken and his lips seemed to have permanently curled down conveying a sense of complete hopelessness.

"This skinny a friend of yours?" Ganner interrupted, keeping his lightsaber blade pointed at Miles.

"He was," Si answered with sadness in his voice, "a long time ago."

Suddenly Miles doubled over, gagging as if chocking on his own tongue, his entire body convulsing.

"Sh*t! Not again," Ganner called out, tensing up. Si Quan could sense the dark side rapidly spike within Miles and as he raised back up his demeanor had changed. His despondent expression had twisted into a mad, murderous grin. Sensing the danger, Si immediately summoned his lightsaber to his hand and ignited it.

"What the heck is going on with this guy?" Ganner asked.

Si closed his eyes, following the tendrils of dark side energy through Miles and back to their source, "It's Alex. He's using the dark side to influence him."

"What ever it is, keep your guard up," Ganner warned, "When he gets like this is when he gets dangerous."

Igniting his own lightsaber, Miles then loosed an inhuman hiss before lurching forward. The Force slammed down around Ganner's arms and ribs as Miles flew in with unnatural speed to cleave him in two. Ganner was able to overpower the hold on himself just enough to raise his own blade and halt Miles' initial slash, but his movements would be far too slow to do much more.

Recognizing Ganner's predicament, Si acted quickly, envisioning the Force wrapping around his old Padawan and yanking him back out of harms way. As Ganner fell onto his backside and slid across the polished floor of the bridge, Si Quan leaped forward and slammed his own lightsaber into Miles', "Snap out of it, Miles!"

Si's shouts landed on deaf ears, Miles simply shoved Si back and then attempted to crush him with the Force as well. With the dark side collapsing in around him, Si maintained his center, gathering the Force within himself and pressing it to the surface. As Miles darted in to slice him in half like he'd tried to do with Ganner, Si loosed the energy built up around him. An explosion of Force power ripped outward, twisting the durasteel panels within the bridge, smashing many of the controls and impacting Miles like a sledge, sending him skipping back to his father.

With the controls smashed alarms suddenly started ringing on the bridge of The Tempest, and Raxus Prime in the view port began to waver and grow larger. The ship was foundering. Miles only moaned in pain, most of his ribs, along with his arms, had been broken by Si Quan's Force Repulse. A trickle of blood ran from the corner of his mouth, his life signs were faint, but it was possible he would survive if Si could get him in some Bacta.

As Si took a step toward his old friend a low growl stopped him in his place. Stirred from his meditation, Alex rose to his feet, turning to Si and Ganner with fury burning in his molten yellow eyes. Si raised his lightsaber, he was fully aware of what Alex was capable of, but Ganner...

"Ganner, get out, now!" Si called out. Ganner had just gotten back to his feet when Alex appeared behind him in a dark blur. Summoning all the power of the light within himself that he could, Si added speed to his stride as he flew to Ganner's side. With a blinding spin of his blue blade Alex removed both of Ganner's arms and separated him from his lightsaber. In the same motion Alex twisted his weapon and brought it down on Ganner's head.

A crack and a long hiss; wincing, Ganner looked up to see Si Quan between he and Alex just before the shock of the injury he'd suffered caused him to pass out.

"Impressive, boy," Alex snapped, "but foolish. I'd have thought you learned your lesson."

"Well, Master Teiko always did say I wasn't the sharpest Vibrosword on the rack." With a spin Alex's and Si's lightsabers disengaged and the two began to pace around one another, sizing the other up for weaknesses.

"The Force is strong with you," Alex commented, steadying himself as the ship rocked, "you were strong to withstand my Memory Walk ability. You've rid yourself of your fear. You might prove an even greater asset than Miles was."

"What did you do to him?"

Alex snickered, "I made him my puppet, the same as I'll do with you. Miles was weak, but with you under my control nothing will stop me from taking back the Jedi."

Si shook his head, this man still believed that it was the Jedi and not he who had been corrupted, "Alex... pitiful man. Can even you not see what you have become? The dark side has twisted your mind, the Jedi only wanted to help you."

Alex gritted his teeth and clinched hard on his lightsaber. Si could feel his anger only rising as he tried to talk him down, "No... you took everything from me! You turned my family against me. You did this to me!" Not holding back any longer, Alex lashed out at Si, the dark side aiding his movements and granting him speed. His lightsaber rained blows down on Si in rapid succession, far beyond the speed that even most Masters could match.

"Trust in the Force. When there is chaos all around you, no matter how intense, a true Jedi, with the Force as his ally, is always in control."

Despite Alex's fury, Si remained the eye of the storm. His lightsaber matched the speed of Alex's, deflecting his blows aside utilizing Soresu. Try as he might, Alex could not break through Si's defense. Finally The Tempest began to rumble. The bridge grew red as the viewport window was masked by fire. They had entered the atmosphere, and time was running out. The ship's durasteel hull groaned loudly from the strain as Alex at last backed off from trying to strike Si down with his blade. Fatigued, Alex had one last ace up his sleeve.

Alex closed his eyes and brought his hands together. Suddenly Si felt a stabbing pain in the back of his head, as if something was burrowing into his mind. Stumbling, Si grabbed his temple, "Submit, Jedi. It's the only way either of us will leave here alive," Si could hear Alex in his head. As a last resort the Dark Lord was attempting to burrow his way into Si's mind once more. Though physically much more sturdy than Alex, Si's telepathic abilities still were not up to par with the Dark Master's. Si began to feel the pain of Alex's torture filling his body again. If Alex was able to incapacitate Si, they would all be killed. He would have to think of something quickly.

Si closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the pain would not stop him, if anything Si would use it to sharpen his focus. "There is no death... there is the Force," he whispered to himself before activating his lightabers blade and plunging it through Alex's chest.

Alex let out an abbreviated scream as his chest was seared from the inside out when Si's lightsaber passed through him. Through their mental conection, Si too felt the pain, though it was fleeting. Si remained upright on his feet, deactivating the lightsaber as soon as Alex's grip on his mind was severed. Si was able to transcend pain now, using it as a source of strength rather then as a crutch. It was a power known as Crucitorn, one that few Jedi were able to master that allowed Si to endure more pain then might have otherwise been possible.

With the alarms on The Tempest blaring, Si collected himself and gathered up Ganner. Miles' still exhibited the faintest signs of life, but it would be impossible to carry them both out. Stubbornly, Si carried Ganner over to where Miles was and attempted to pull him up as well.

"Si... don't..." Miles gasped, his words muffled by blood.

"Don't you start trying to be a hero now," Si snapped at him, "I've come too far to leave you here like this."

With what strength he had left Miles raised his hand and placed it on Si's, "My friend... you've done enough. Thank you." Miles faint vital signs then seemed to fade away. There was little time to mourn. Si quickly raised up with Ganner over his shoulders and made a mad dash for the hanger.

Soresu Master Si Quan

Following the battle of Raxus Prime, Si Quan was made a Master by the Jedi Council for his bravery in defeating Alex Drake. Of twenty Jedi to enter, Si and Ganner were the only two to escape The Tempest alive. The ship ultimately would meet with a spectacular end, crashing into Raxus Prime with a massive fire ball and leaving little more then a smoldering creator behind.

Ganner Dysar survived his injuries and was fitted for a pair of mechanical prosthetic arms. Though still a prodigy, Ganner's Force abilities took a hit after losing his limbs to Alex over Raxus Prime. The thoughts of what could have been still haunt him to this day, though he would never admit it.

As for Si himself, the story of Si's exploits on board The Tempest in which he'd used Soresu to subdue the Mandalorian mercs and two Dark Jedi Masters spread quickly, not just through the Jedi but also through Mandalorian camps and organizations like the Exchange, thanks largely to witnesses like Drak'o Lordst. Because of this, upon being named a Master, Udin Thos dubbed Si, "Soresu Master Si Quan". The name would stick.

Round Two on Onderon (Age 43)

In the years that followed Si Quan's reputation as a formidable Jedi Master would only continue to grow. Though most notorious for his blade, Si was also highly regarded for his wisdom and calm under pressure. It was rare to see Si Quan draw his lightsaber as he would only use it as an absolute last resort. Ever since he was a small boy Si had held a reprehension toward violence. However, as most Jedi know, there occasionally does come need for more hostile means of diplomacy.

As he grew into his fourties, Si Quan was appointed Jedi Watchmen of the Onderon system. Si's time there was spent largely working with Iziz's Royal Guard in keeping the peace and policing the spacers and traders who came through the capital on a daily basis. He was also charged with locating Force sensitives and sending them back to Coruscant for training, as all Jedi Watchmen were, though in the first few years he'd been on Onderon Si had not yet found any such individuals.

All things considered, Si's assignment on Onderon was pretty quiet for the most part, that was until word of Exchange thugs working out of Iziz Cantina reached the Royal Guard. Si was sent to investigate only to find that a gun fight had broken out in the plaza in front of the Cantina. The Exchange thugs apparently had gotten into a scrape with a group of Mandalorians led by, who else, Drak'o Lordst. Si couldn't recognize his old friend under his Mandalorian helmet, but Drak'o certainly recognized the Jedi.

Si immediately took action, moving between the two combating parties with his lightsaber ignited, batting the barrage of blaster bolts away from their respective targets with the assistance of a barrier created with the Force. After both sides realized they were making no progress, the order was given to cease fire.

"Soresu Master Si Quan," Drak'o croaked from under his mask, "it's been too long. Your reputation proceeds you, old friend." Si glared at the Mandalorian with a puzzled look until he lifted off his helmet.

"You," Si said with a chuckle, "Don't you bad guys ever learn?"

"I don't believe I'd given you the courtesy of introducing myself last time, Master Jedi. I am Drak'o Lordst. I am the man who will become the next Mandalore."

"Impressive," Si answered sarcastically, "I hadn't realized part of the initiation for becoming Mandalore these days was getting into bar fights with back ally thugs."

"A Jedi?" A redros Exchange thug chimed in, "The bounty on their kind is enough to make us all rich. I say we blast a hole through him and split the money."

Drak'o gave a condescending snort in response to the Redros, "Heh, go ahead and try it. Your blasters won't work on him."

"Well at least you're a fast learner..." Si commented.

"But the coro slime does have a point," Drak'o continued, "The bounty on your head is too good to pass up."

"I take it back."

The Mandalorians drew their vibroswords and the Exchange thugs came equipped with shock sticks and crudely made blades of their own. As they all charged in at once Si quickly drew the Force in around himself and then released it in a powerful pulse of energy that scattered the thugs in all directions. With their timing thrown off, the unorganized attackers came back at Si Quan one at a time, making it easier to disarm and neutralize them. Si was careful not to deal any killing blows if he could help it, only swiping off sword wielding hands and maybe even legs if they were persistent.

When the first few waves attacked only to be dismembered, most of the others wised up and turned to run. Among them was Drak'o Lordst, but this time Si wasn't going to allow him to escape. Si chased the Mandalorian merc through the Merchant Quarter and back to the Iziz Starport. As Drak'o weaved his way through the crowds, Si did a Force Jump up onto one of the starport's turret towers. Running along the wall that provided a barrier to the starport with Force aided speed, Si jumped down in front of Drak'o's hanger, cutting him off from his escape.

This Drak'o Lordst was no true Mandalorian, he was a coward. Si could sense his fear as soon as he landed in front of him. Drak'o quickly drew his vibroblade. Convincing him to surrender wasn't going to work, Drak'o was determined not to be caught again. Evidently he had already spent a good deal of time in a Republic prison.

Drak'o wasn't bad with his sword, but his long, obvious, power swings were never going to break Si Quan's Soresu. Drak'o attacked Si with a great deal of adrenaline and ferocity, putting all he had behind his swings in the hope that he could power though the Jedi. The strategy only succeeded in tiring him out faster. With Drak'o barely able to stand, Si used telekinesis to rip his weapon from his grip and cast it aside. The Royal Guard took Drak'o into custody where he continues to rot in a jail cell to this day.

The Student becomes the Teacher (Age 49 - 68)

After many years of faithful service as Onderon's Jedi Watchmen, Si Quan's life would take yet another turn after encountering a young Force sensitive named Kaylin. Kaylin's parent's were poor and unable to afford any sort of passage out of Iziz. Si could sense that the Force was strong with their new born baby girl and suggested to them that the child be sent to Coruscant to be trained as a Jedi. Once they had agreed Si went about his business of seeing the child safely back to the Jedi Temple.

Upon his return to Coruscant with Kaylin, Si expressed his wish to stay. He had felt the job of Jedi Watchmen didn't quite fit with his talents and asked of Master Maha that he be given a new assignment. Even Si was surprised by the job Maha would give him. Instructor of the Temple's Younglings. And so Master Si Quan began his time at the Jedi Temple as an instructor of Younglings. Si's patience and love of learning made him the perfect fit for the job and Si did indeed feel that this was more befitting his personality then being a Jedi Watchmen had been.

Over the years Si Quan continued to assist the Jedi on missions and even take on Padawans of his own while still managing to find time to instruct the Younglings. Si had intended to make Kaylin his Padawan once the girl came of age, but he instead left the honor up to Master Maha who had been without a Padawan of his own for quite some time.

Si's experience teaching the Younglings had not only benefited them, but it taught Si a few valuable lessons about the Force himself. For one, that the path to understanding the Force is different for each of us, and each individual may need to find it in their own way. Si knew this was certainly true of himself as he could never seem to do anything right until Master Teiko taught him how to be the "eye of the storm". Si Quan would pass Teiko's teachings on to his students, particularly the surly Kuhsiban's message to trust in the Force, and trust in yourself.

Eventually Si Quan would find a Youngling that reminded him a great deal of himself, a bumbling, yet determined, boy named Kyo Sartori. Kyo had had the hardest time getting used to life as a Jedi, but his guts and drive to be the best were second to none. Si recognized that with a little guidance this boy could be something great.

Tragically, Master Maha and Kaylin would be killed on a mission together on Nar Shaddaa. The loss was hard on Si, but it was equally tough on Kyo who had been first discovered by the Master/Apprentice pair on Dantooine. Maha and Kaylin were apparently killed by Exchange assassins with an affinity for the Force, though Si never found out the true identities of the attackers.

Kaylin had been Kyo's best friend and Master Maha had been Si Quan's teacher, mentor and friend for over fifty years. The pain of their loss was sharp, and when his still very young student came to him to ask about death, Si found encouragement in the Youngling's optimism.

"Master Quan, where is Kaylin?" Kyo asked shyly. Si smiled lightly, taking in a deep breath of air. How to explain it?

"Well, Master Maha and Kaylin are one with the Force. They've transformed into the Force around us." Si explained. Kyo glanced back up a him, a puzzled look on his face, "But why?" he asked. Si let out another sigh, "I don't know, Kyo. Sometimes I wish I did. There are some questions even a Jedi cannot answer."

Kyo nodded, there was a long silence between the two before Kyo spoke up again, "Will I ever see Kaylin again?" he asked. Si smiled a bright and reassuring smile, "I'm certain of it." He answered.

There is no death, there is only the Force. Sometimes even a Jedi Master needs a Youngling to remind him of that truth.

Si would go on to take Kyo as his Padawan learner and continue to guide him through his own Jedi Trials. The most difficult for Kyo came at the loss of his twin brother, Ryuu, who was also a Jedi. Kyo lost Ryuu not to death, but to the Dark Side. Again he came to Si Quan for advice, and Master Quan recanted a story from when he himself was Kyo's age.

"I was about your age when I was given my first mission without my Master. There were two Jedi to accompany me, we were to investigate the disappearance of a Jedi Knight on Dxun. I begged Maha to recommend me for the assignment and sure enough, he did. When we landed on Dxun we could feel the dark side was present and our squad's leader was adamant that we leave and wait for back up. I wouldn't have it. I convinced them to press forward. Eventually we came to a tomb where a Dark Jedi was lying in wait. It was a trap and I'd led us right into it. My comrades were both killed and I barely escaped alive.

Heh, I guess we're just two not so lucky people, Kyo. I always thought I could have done more. I was so wracked by guilt, I only wanted to end my suffering. I went to Master Maha asking the same questions you are today, and do you know what he said? He told me that having dealt with the death of his father and the destruction of his home that he had suffered too much himself to know the answer. But that if I could find a Jedi who had experienced no suffering, he would surly have an answer for me."

"So what did you do?" Kyo asked.

"I began searching... going to all the other masters and even the other Knights and Padawans trying to find one that had experienced no suffering. Each told a different story, each reached the same conclusion..."

"I don't understand, Master, did you ever find the answer?"

Si smiled, chuckling a bit to himself, "We all suffer, Kyo. That is the way of things. But we need not suffer alone. Do not try to bear the weight of what happened to Ryuu on your heart alone."

The story helped Kyo recover from his grief and continue to pursue his duties as a Jedi. The kid had guts, there was no question about it. In Kyo, Si Quan could see a bit of himself, but what's more, nothing came easy to Kyo. As a youngling Kyo was last in his class in saber technique and control of the Force, and as a Padawan the boy couldn't seem to get out of his own way. However, through it all Kyo maintained his optimism and his determination to be the best. Kyo's toughness and belief in himself despite his brother telling him he'd never make it, and despite some of the Masters suggesting maybe he quit and take on a lesser role in the Order, was inspiring to his Master. It reminded Si of what he was taught so many years ago; Believe in yourself, believe in the Force. That's all you need.

Today Si Quan's apprentice, Kyo, has just become a Jedi Knight himself. Si still trains Younglings at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant and is looking for a new Padawan learner.

RP Sample: (See Raxus Prime in the bio)

[Kella]

Do you want me to move this back to Pending?

[Cain]

Sure, if you don't mind.

[Cain]

OK. It is ready at long last.

[Kella]

Here... we... GO!

^^

---

General Info:

Woot for some more aged masters. ^^

---

Bio:
Numbered for your replying convenience. ^^


-1-"It was a world most hunters avoided due to the savage nature of the native Epicanthix"
Nothing I've read indicates that the Epicanthix were primitive or tribal... In fact, they've conquered many of the surrounding planets, which would require space traveling technology. If I've missed a source, let me know. X) And although I love it when people expand upon canon... this borders on contradicting it. v.v A slight edit of tone will get you back on the right track.

-2-"In daydreaming about his potential payoff Jal hadn't even noticed that the Epicanthix woman had slipped away into the jungle."
If she's in the midst of combat training, aren't there other Epicanthix around? or is she practicing alone?

-3-"With a hefty bounty now on Jal's head and Kade still hunting for his ex-wife, the couple was forced to go into hiding."
I have to ask... wasn't she furious with him for trying to sell her as a slave? Even if he rescued her?

Comment of Negligible Importance (CNI): Tatooine has a disproportionate amount of characters come from it... If you're feeling up to the challenge, you can freshen up your bio by browsing Wookiee for less-known planet. :3

-4-"Yu noted Si's ability to anticipate attacks and counter them."
If you've ever watched a group of 5-year-olds in a Karate class, this sort of thing comes into perspective. xD The only noticeable manifestation of his force sensitivity would be slightly-faster-than-normal reflexes, which is not the same as anticipating attacks.

-5-"By the time Si was eight years old he was already accompanying his father on their hunting trips."
Younglings have to be accepted into the Order by their sixth birthdays.
Of course, this is going to affect a lot of what you have set up later. v.v So I'll refrain from commenting on that, and skip to Jedi years.

-6-"A connoisseur of the theatrical arts, Maha often likened his lessons to the theater."
In his free time between training and going on missions and reading history in the archives and becoming educated on galactic issues and practicing combat concepts, right? X) Jedi usually don't have any pursuits not directly related to being a Jedi.

---

Regrettably, I have to stop here for the moment. D: Don't let me forget to come back and finish this. In the meanwhile, you can work on the above, as the age difference in youngling acceptance will shift quite a bit. X) Let me know when you're all done with those edits, so just in case I haven't made it back, I can make it a priority again. :3

[Cain]

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-1-"It was a world most hunters avoided due to the savage nature of the native Epicanthix"
Nothing I've read indicates that the Epicanthix were primitive or tribal... In fact, they've conquered many of the surrounding planets, which would require space traveling technology. If I've missed a source, let me know. X) And although I love it when people expand upon canon... this borders on contradicting it. v.v A slight edit of tone will get you back on the right track.

The word "savage" is probably throwing you off. I do not intend it to mean that the Epicanthix are uncivilized, only that they have a reputation as cut-throats among the residents of near by systems, and for just the reasons you've pointed out; they've conquered many surrounding planets. I'll change the word to simply "violent".

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-2-"In daydreaming about his potential payoff Jal hadn't even noticed that the Epicanthix woman had slipped away into the jungle."
If she's in the midst of combat training, aren't there other Epicanthix around? or is she practicing alone?

Well for this bit of plot to work she would be alone. I wouldn't think it too uncommon that someone would go off alone to train.

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-3-"With a hefty bounty now on Jal's head and Kade still hunting for his ex-wife, the couple was forced to go into hiding."
I have to ask... wasn't she furious with him for trying to sell her as a slave? Even if he rescued her?

Hehe, a fair question. I would answer that by saying that Yu understood (after the fact of course) that what Jal did was with the best intentions. If he hadn't he'd be dead and she'd be sent back to her angry, abusive husband on Panatha. Not to say that she wouldn't have been taken aback when Jal first suggested the deal.

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-4-"Yu noted Si's ability to anticipate attacks and counter them."
If you've ever watched a group of 5-year-olds in a Karate class, this sort of thing comes into perspective. xD The only noticeable manifestation of his force sensitivity would be slightly-faster-than-normal reflexes, which is not the same as anticipating attacks.

Modded that.

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-5-"By the time Si was eight years old he was already accompanying his father on their hunting trips."
Younglings have to be accepted into the Order by their sixth birthdays.
Of course, this is going to affect a lot of what you have set up later. v.v So I'll refrain from commenting on that, and skip to Jedi years.

Well, not really. If I just change 8 to 6 it doesn't alter the story at all. Unless I'm missing something. xD

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

-6-"A connoisseur of the theatrical arts, Maha often likened his lessons to the theater."
In his free time between training and going on missions and reading history in the archives and becoming educated on galactic issues and practicing combat concepts, right? X) Jedi usually don't have any pursuits not directly related to being a Jedi.

Could part of becoming educated in galactic affairs not include the arts? Especially if said Jedi had found a way to incorporate it into his daily life and training rituals? I only press this point because I've always imagined Maha Rishii as a cultured personality. It seemed an interesting juxtaposition to the traditional Rattataki. Though it is a small detail and easily removed if need be.

Jan 9, 2011 0:58:57 GMT -5 Kella said:

Regrettably, I have to stop here for the moment. D: Don't let me forget to come back and finish this. In the meanwhile, you can work on the above, as the age difference in youngling acceptance will shift quite a bit. X) Let me know when you're all done with those edits, so just in case I haven't made it back, I can make it a priority again. :3

Done. And thanks for taking the time to look at my bio, I know it's a bit on the wordy side. And for putting up with my stubborn responses. xD

[Kella]

AND LET'S RESUME! ^^

---

--"For the most part the father-son hunting duo caught nothing but Wraids and Dewbacks."
Wraids and Dewbacks are portrayed as being very dangerous creatures -- even for adult professional hunters. There's no way he could bring his child along in good conscience, and disaster would likely result... buuuuut, I see where you're going with the pearl thing, so it's likely his dad just told him hunting stories and showed him his trophies. That'd be just fine. :3

This means that for the next section, you're going to have to preface it with why Si was along with his father -- perhaps his father had planned only on showing Si how to navigate in the desert, then unexpectedly found the den?

--"Si spent the remainder of the night and most of the next day on the streets of Anchorhead, pleading with anyone who would stop long enough to listen for help."
A six year old would not have been able to do this... Punch in a destination, yes, but drive a speeder, no...
Maybe the Jedi found him out in the desert? Or he pressed the distress signal, and someone nearby took him back to the village, where he met the Jedi?

---

Cursed. I'm cursed, I tell you, cursed. I have to go again. >.> But. I will be back. Hopefully tomorrow.

Thank you so much for your patience. x.x

[Cain]

Jan 21, 2011 0:21:05 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"For the most part the father-son hunting duo caught nothing but Wraids and Dewbacks."
Wraids and Dewbacks are portrayed as being very dangerous creatures -- even for adult professional hunters. There's no way he could bring his child along in good conscience, and disaster would likely result... buuuuut, I see where you're going with the pearl thing, so it's likely his dad just told him hunting stories and showed him his trophies. That'd be just fine. :3

Hunting is a dangerous occupation, and the family needed money. It's not uncommon in poorer countries for children to take up dangerous occupations to help support their families, such as a factory worker or a coal miner. In good conscience a father probably wouldn't want that for their child, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Surely it isn't so out of the realm of possibility that a child would be taught the family business, dangerous as it may be, considering their situation.

Also, on a side note, disaster did result.

Jan 21, 2011 0:21:05 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si spent the remainder of the night and most of the next day on the streets of Anchorhead, pleading with anyone who would stop long enough to listen for help."
A six year old would not have been able to do this... Punch in a destination, yes, but drive a speeder, no...
Maybe the Jedi found him out in the desert? Or he pressed the distress signal, and someone nearby took him back to the village, where he met the Jedi?

If a nine year old can fly a fighter into space to destroy a droid control ship, not to mention a pod racer, why can't a six year old punch in auto pilot coordinates and ride on a speeder?

[Kella]

The problem is, in this situation, a five-year-old would be more of a liability than an asset, especially since -- rather than having been scared in his shell -- he has had an attentive childhood.

First, Anakin was the 'chosen one', so that doesn't necessarily apply, and second, yeah, a nine year old probably could do that. X) But the difference between a six year old and a nine year old is vast -- believe me, I live with both ages. A nine year old is barely starting to grasp abstract concepts -- a six year old isn't. I could see a six-year-old punching autopilot -- but if times are so tough, how can they afford speeders with auto-pilot?

~~~


--"His father had taught him a lot about it during their hunts"
Same vein as above -- as long as it's not during the hunts, you're all good. ^^

--"A connoisseur of the theatrical arts, Maha often likened his lessons to the theater."
The thing here is that a Jedi would not have time to become a 'connoisseur' of something that does not directly benefit his learning. However, he could be appreciative of the art, or have read some plays, or maybe seen one or two. A Jedi would be aware of culture, and know about culture, but not be an expert, afficianado, or connoisseur in it. X) I totally understand what you're getting at, though, and I think it would be fine for Maha to enjoy the idea of the theatre, but 'connoisseur' has the wrong tone, so find a word with a different connotation, and will be all shiny. :3

--"At first Si was resistant to the lightsaber form that would later make him famous"
Another tone thing. xD The Jedi don't really do 'fame' or 'prestige'... he could be well-known, but 'famous' has the wrong connotations... I'm very protective of my Jedi. Forgive me. X) But if you'd change the references to 'fame', and trade them for something a bit more humble, like being well-known, I'd be much oblidged.

--"Miles was the son of two former Jedi Masters, Alex and Sarah Drake. The details of what happened to Miles' parents were hazy. Bringing either of them up around any of the Masters was considered a taboo and therefore the subject of countless rumors among the other Younglings. Even Miles himself didn't know all the facts as he was only an infant when Alex and Sarah were exiled."
Miles wouldn't know about his parents -- especially if there was turmoil surrounding their being exiled from the order. Some of the younglings might have heard about Alex and Sarah being exiled, but no one would know that Miles is their son, because the Jedi strongly believe in cutting a child's ties to the past and family.

--"Miles was steadfast, however, and it wasn't long before he noticed the shadowy figure again outside the Temple's public promenade. Making a rash decision, Miles opted to pursue the man"
Unfortunatley, without his master, Miles wouldn't have been allowed outside the temple -- not to mention, there are guards appointed specifically to keep the temple safe -- both force users and non-force users. Being such a prime target for terrorism, it's very well guarded.

However, it's possible that Miles and Si acted as such when they were on a mission together with their respective masters, so you can still have the encounter.

--"After chasing Miles into the alleys of Coruscant Si caught up to his friend as he confronted the mysterious figure in black, "Are you Miles Drake?"
If the Drakes were infamous, then Miles would not have been told that his last name was 'Drake'. So he'd be surprised to hear his surname, but the rest is fine.

--"After a heated argument Alex was convinced that Sarah had been compromised... but there still might be a chance to save the baby."
How was Sarah able to hide her pregnancy from the other Jedi? X) Jedi tend to be very lean and fit, and while pregnancy starts subtle, it doesn't end that way...


A Note on the story of Alex Drake: While the story is interesting, it isn't really related to Si. It's only tangentially related, and the important information could be communicated in a few sentences. If it related directly to Si, it'd be relevant, but because it doesn't, it isn't. When you have old characters, that's one of the tricky things -- making sure whatever detail you have is directly related to your character, so things don't get too long. X) This is more just my opinion/advice, though, and something to think about. Nothing that's going to keep you from approval.

--"As Kade went to squeeze off a second round, the pinch to the barrel Si had been applying took effect and the weapon backfired, exploding in Kade's hand."
Moving things with Telekinesis and crushing things are two very different things, and the latter requires either experience or specific study. However, he could have waited until Kade's guard was down, and jerked the blaster away. As for Kade's death, perhaps he charged the Jedi, and got himself skewered? Or something else crushed the barrel?

--"It was then that Yu removed her veil and Si then recognized the face of his mother."
Si probably wouldn't have recognized his mother, being so young when he last saw her, but his mother would recognize him. The reunion would be more awkward than joyous for Si, seeing as even though she's his mother, he's been raised by the Jedi for most of his life.

--"However, most notable to Si was the holocron of Jedi Cay Qel-Droma in which Cay described the lightsaber as being "a very personal artifact of its wielder and a proud symbol of their commitment to the Jedi.""
I'm pretty sure we don't allow mentions of holocrons, but just change it to 'data pad' and you're set. :3

--"Si could only think of one thing he owned that fit Cay's description of a Jedi's lightsaber; that was his father's Krayt Dragon Pearl."
When Jedi come to the temple, they're not allowed to keep any personal possessions, so Si would not still have his father's pearl... And, while not so sentimental, a green crystal will serve the same practical purpose. If you want to come up with some alternatives, feel free to let me know.



Now, I only say this because I think you can take it the way it's meant -- as constructive criticism, not patronizing. Well, that, and I'm a recovering over-describer myself. X)

You've used almost a whole post to describe Si's first twenty years, but I don't really feel like I know him as a character. Most of your detail has been about events, not Si's actions during them. In fact, I feel as if I know Alex better as a character than I do Si. Just some thoughts. :3

Though, as it relates to approval, if Si is going to be established as a character renowned for his patience, then that needs to be well established in his bio. So far, only once has he been demonstrated to be patient, and only when he was told to be so.


Part 2:


--"Following his confrontation with Alex Drake on Dxun, it was deemed by the Council that Si Quan had adequately completed the Jedi Trials. At the age of twenty two Si Quan was knighted as a full member of the Jedi Order."
Since Si grows up to be such a well-known master, I'm going to have you explicitly state his trials, and how he passed them. Try to communicate as much as you can about his character through this -- it will help make up for the focus not being on Si in the first half of the bio.

--"Si traveled to Ruusan and began his search for the elusive hermit."
Jedi don't just leave the order to become hermits -- they'd probably take a light job in the temple, or become the watchman of a sleepy system if they needed a break. Furthermore, if a Jedi had left the order -- even on good terms -- young Knights would not be sent to go be instructed by them... Should be a pretty quick fix, though. If you make Teiko watchman of Ruusan, and have Si be 'assigned' to apprentice under him for a few years, then all will be well.



I very much like the whole encounter with Master Teiko. This is the sort of thing that really gives insight on Si's character, without you having to sit there and just talk about his traits. :3


--"Si's half brother, Ganner Dysar, had grown from that toddler clinging to his mother on Panatha into a brilliant young Force adept."[/i[
Unfortunately, since Si knows that the boy is his half-brother, the council would not allow this. During the current timeline, they're very strict about the whole 'cutting ties with the past' thing.

--"and in fact Ganner's first Master had declined to continue his training."
By this point, Ganner either would have been seriously disciplined, and if that had not worked, his training would have been halted alltogether, and they would have sent him to the corps. Better to not train a volatile Knight that could easily betray the order. Furthermore, it's very unlikely that Ganner would have had such a cross personality -- he was, after all, raised by Jedi. Jedis' character flaws tend to be more subtle than outright obstinance.

--"There, Alex, along with hordes of hired mercenaries and misplaced Mandalorians had began gathering an army which would threaten the security of the surrounding systems and ultimately the Republic."
In our Timeline, it's unlikely that one man could amass such an 'army', but a 'following' would better fit,and be just as formiddable.

--"Several Jedi and Republic pilots lost their lives on the approach to the Sith Interdictor The Tempest"
The Sith didn't begin to re-form until within one year IC, so there'd be no Sith army at this point. I also hesitate to allow a battle on such grand scale, when the Republic has been in relative peace for the past few decades... However, something more on the scale of what, say, a riot or threat like the National Guard would handle, would be fine.

And it isn't anything at all, remotely close to even possibly resembling Luke's time on Dagobah with Yoda.... ;3

--""When he gets like this is when he gets dangerous.""
How does Ganner know this? It struck me as odd, so I figured I'd mention it.


--"An explosion of Force power ripped outward, twisting the durasteel panels within the bridge, smashing many of the controls and impacting Miles like a sledge, sending him skipping back to his father."
This sounds more like Force Absorb -- and even if it's Force Repulse, using the Force with this much power is not something a Master just inherently knows. It would make sense for Si to be able to do this, but his studying Force Repulise or Force Absorb would need to have been mentioned previously in the bio.

--"Si used the Force to bear the pain and mend some of the damage to his internal organs, though it would not be enough if he wasn't able to get medical attention soon."
No problem here, just some feedback. Si has some pretty significant abilities -- replacing some event-exposition with some more detailed description of his training and progress.

--"Because of this, upon being named a Master, Udin Thos dubbed Si, "Soresu Master Si Quan"."
It seems he'd end up with something more referring to his ability to sacrifice anything for the sake of the mission/others. Stabbing yourself with a saber is a much bigger deal than fending off a whole bunch of blaster bolts. X)

--"It wasn't that the Force wasn't substantially strong with her, but simply that there currently weren't enough Masters to train the new Younglings."
With the size of youngling classes, and several affiliated enclaves, all younglings with enough force potential would be admitted. However, bringing him to the order could engage him in the youngling process, and make him want to help.

Last 18 years: You skim over these relatively quickly, but you touch on all the important parts, except one, so insert that one and you're good. :3 What did Si learn from having Kyo as a Padawan? How did he change in those ten years?

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho - 5
Makashi - 1
Soresu - 5
Ataru - 2
Shien / Djem So - 4
>>Sub-form Backhanded - N/A
Niman - 2
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield - 1
Juyo N/A
Double Bladed Combat

With Jedi Masters, there tends to be a plateau around the late-thirties early forties. Usually, a Consular or a Sentinel doesn't have a reason to study more than three forms, and once they master them, simply hone their skills, and don't study others. At his age, Si could certainly have three forms mastered -- and maybe four, if you have a good enough reason.

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 8
Telepathic: 5
Body: 9
Sense: 7
Protection: 6
Healing: 6
Destruction: 0

Any 9's or 8's need to be explicitely stated and explained in the bio. Though Si does seem talented with body, there's nothing to establish such extensive training.
As a sentinel, I could see him having a 9 and two 7's, or a 9, an 8, and the 7 down to a 6.

Specialized Skills:
Force Repulse
Crucitorn

Kind of the same as above, his training in these skills needs to be stated -- why he chose to study them, and how much work he put into mastering them.

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 7
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 9
Leadership: 8

These stats are without augmentation by the Force, and a professional human sprinter would probably have about a 7 in speed, to put things into perspective. The scale applies across all species, and some are naturally much faster than humans. Also, as it is, the bio supports a 6 in leadership. If you want a 7 or an 8, then Si's struggles in learning how to be a leader need to be in his bio.

---

And finally, I haven't been pulled away! I know it seems like a lot, but if you made it all the way through writing Si's bio, then I know you can work thorugh it all. If you have any questions at all, don't hesitate to ask -- but know that all the feedback above is very thoughtful. I never mind explaining my reasoning, though, so again, just ask. :3

[Cain]

*Takes Deep Breath* Alright, I'm going to attempt to explain myself concerning the points you brought up. A lot of good questions, so I'mma dive right in:

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

The problem is, in this situation, a five-year-old would be more of a liability than an asset, especially since -- rather than having been scared in his shell -- he has had an attentive childhood.

Ok, I'll concede on this one. It's fixed.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

First, Anakin was the 'chosen one', so that doesn't necessarily apply, and second, yeah, a nine year old probably could do that. X) But the difference between a six year old and a nine year old is vast -- believe me, I live with both ages. A nine year old is barely starting to grasp abstract concepts -- a six year old isn't. I could see a six-year-old punching autopilot -- but if times are so tough, how can they afford speeders with auto-pilot?

They can't. Jal's speeder was sabotaged if you remember. The speeder Si took belonged to the Mandalorian.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"A connoisseur of the theatrical arts, Maha often likened his lessons to the theater."
The thing here is that a Jedi would not have time to become a 'connoisseur' of something that does not directly benefit his learning. However, he could be appreciative of the art, or have read some plays, or maybe seen one or two. A Jedi would be aware of culture, and know about culture, but not be an expert, afficianado, or connoisseur in it. X) I totally understand what you're getting at, though, and I think it would be fine for Maha to enjoy the idea of the theatre, but 'connoisseur' has the wrong tone, so find a word with a different connotation, and will be all shiny. :3

Edited.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"At first Si was resistant to the lightsaber form that would later make him famous"
Another tone thing. xD The Jedi don't really do 'fame' or 'prestige'... he could be well-known, but 'famous' has the wrong connotations... I'm very protective of my Jedi. Forgive me. X) But if you'd change the references to 'fame', and trade them for something a bit more humble, like being well-known, I'd be much oblidged.

His fame doesn't simply include the Jedi, but in their case I can see what you mean. I'll edit that.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Miles was the son of two former Jedi Masters, Alex and Sarah Drake. The details of what happened to Miles' parents were hazy. Bringing either of them up around any of the Masters was considered a taboo and therefore the subject of countless rumors among the other Younglings. Even Miles himself didn't know all the facts as he was only an infant when Alex and Sarah were exiled."
Miles wouldn't know about his parents -- especially if there was turmoil surrounding their being exiled from the order. Some of the younglings might have heard about Alex and Sarah being exiled, but no one would know that Miles is their son, because the Jedi strongly believe in cutting a child's ties to the past and family.

Fixed that.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"After chasing Miles into the alleys of Coruscant Si caught up to his friend as he confronted the mysterious figure in black, "Are you Miles Drake?"
If the Drakes were infamous, then Miles would not have been told that his last name was 'Drake'. So he'd be surprised to hear his surname, but the rest is fine.

Fixed that as well.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"After a heated argument Alex was convinced that Sarah had been compromised... but there still might be a chance to save the baby."
How was Sarah able to hide her pregnancy from the other Jedi? X) Jedi tend to be very lean and fit, and while pregnancy starts subtle, it doesn't end that way...

I'm not sure she did try and hide it. I could go into all the details of Alex and Sarah's romance and their attempts to hide it from the Council, but that would seem to distract from what is important about this part of the story, which, as you mention just ahead, already is a side step from the main plot.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

A Note on the story of Alex Drake: While the story is interesting, it isn't really related to Si. It's only tangentially related, and the important information could be communicated in a few sentences. If it related directly to Si, it'd be relevant, but because it doesn't, it isn't. When you have old characters, that's one of the tricky things -- making sure whatever detail you have is directly related to your character, so things don't get too long. X) This is more just my opinion/advice, though, and something to think about. Nothing that's going to keep you from approval.

I mention just before the story of Alex that Master Maha informs him of Miles' past. Therefore the story of Alex is being told to Si, though I did not write out a dialogue for it. As for the relevance of all this to Si, his knowledge of Alex becomes the impetus for him to pursue Alex to Dxun and ultimately Raxis Prime. And also it paints Alex as a twisted dude instead of just another random Dark Jedi kidnapping Jedis.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"As Kade went to squeeze off a second round, the pinch to the barrel Si had been applying took effect and the weapon backfired, exploding in Kade's hand."
Moving things with Telekinesis and crushing things are two very different things, and the latter requires either experience or specific study. However, he could have waited until Kade's guard was down, and jerked the blaster away. As for Kade's death, perhaps he charged the Jedi, and got himself skewered? Or something else crushed the barrel?

Si's attempt to crush the barrel did not go off without a hitch, and that is something I did to point out his lack of polish with the ability. Si failed to crush the barrel on his first attempt, and more importantly lost his focus allowing a blaster shot to be fired at Yu. Maha had to jump in to prevent her from being shot. Only then was Si able to pinch the barrel enough to cause it to back fire. Also keep in mind he didn't crush the gun, it was just a pinch that probably didn't block the barrel completely.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"It was then that Yu removed her veil and Si then recognized the face of his mother."
Si probably wouldn't have recognized his mother, being so young when he last saw her, but his mother would recognize him. The reunion would be more awkward than joyous for Si, seeing as even though she's his mother, he's been raised by the Jedi for most of his life.

At six years old when he last saw her, I think he may remember his mother. It seems more likely to me, actually, that Yu would not recognize him at first, because he is a teenager now and having gone through the wonders of puberty probably looks very different than he did on Tatooine. (The padawan haircut might throw her off too =P)

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"However, most notable to Si was the holocron of Jedi Cay Qel-Droma in which Cay described the lightsaber as being "a very personal artifact of its wielder and a proud symbol of their commitment to the Jedi.""
I'm pretty sure we don't allow mentions of holocrons, but just change it to 'data pad' and you're set. :3

Jedi in the library of the Jedi Temple aren't even allowed access to holocrons? Strict. =P Ok, I'll change it.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si could only think of one thing he owned that fit Cay's description of a Jedi's lightsaber; that was his father's Krayt Dragon Pearl."
When Jedi come to the temple, they're not allowed to keep any personal possessions, so Si would not still have his father's pearl... And, while not so sentimental, a green crystal will serve the same practical purpose. If you want to come up with some alternatives, feel free to let me know.

This breaks my heart, it really does. xD That pearl is/was very important to Si. He watched his father being murdered and spent a night alone at the mouth of a dragon's den in the desert to recover the item that his father cherished so much. To Si it represents the sacrifices his father made for him. Using it in his lightsaber carries that same significance to Si, of sacrifice for others, a tenant essential to Jedi life. Forgive me, but it's really important to Si that he has that pearl xD. Perhaps it was taken from him as a youngling and returned to him when the time came to construct his lightsaber?

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Now, I only say this because I think you can take it the way it's meant -- as constructive criticism, not patronizing. Well, that, and I'm a recovering over-describer myself. X)

You've used almost a whole post to describe Si's first twenty years, but I don't really feel like I know him as a character. Most of your detail has been about events, not Si's actions during them. In fact, I feel as if I know Alex better as a character than I do Si. Just some thoughts. :3

Though, as it relates to approval, if Si is going to be established as a character renowned for his patience, then that needs to be well established in his bio. So far, only once has he been demonstrated to be patient, and only when he was told to be so.

Your observations are not incorrect, I actually intended it to be this way at this point. The fact is Si wasn't always a great Jedi Master, he was a Padawan once, struggling to understand and find his place in the Force, which is what this first part of the bio deals with. As a teenager he didn't have the same patience he would have later in life (few teenagers do). I feel, at least, that by portraying Si as not perfect early in his life and then growing to become a Jedi Master renown for his patience is more realistic than if I had written him as being perfect from the start.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Following his confrontation with Alex Drake on Dxun, it was deemed by the Council that Si Quan had adequately completed the Jedi Trials. At the age of twenty two Si Quan was knighted as a full member of the Jedi Order."
Since Si grows up to be such a well-known master, I'm going to have you explicitly state his trials, and how he passed them. Try to communicate as much as you can about his character through this -- it will help make up for the focus not being on Si in the first half of the bio.

I will mention all of these in more detail in the bio, but so you can find them, for your reviewing ease:

Trial of Skill: Homecoming The confrontation with Yu Quan (Specifically in regaining his focus after losing his lightsaber to her)

Trial of the Flesh: Into the Dragon's Den/ Enter the Dark Lord Si watching his father being killed/ losing his best friend Miles.

Trial of Courage: Confronting the Demon Confronting Alex Drake on Dxun.

Trial of Spirit: Si Quan in Wonderland The vision/dream of his father on Dxun.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si traveled to Ruusan and began his search for the elusive hermit."
Jedi don't just leave the order to become hermits -- they'd probably take a light job in the temple, or become the watchman of a sleepy system if they needed a break. Furthermore, if a Jedi had left the order -- even on good terms -- young Knights would not be sent to go be instructed by them... Should be a pretty quick fix, though. If you make Teiko watchman of Ruusan, and have Si be 'assigned' to apprentice under him for a few years, then all will be well.

Edited.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

I very much like the whole encounter with Master Teiko. This is the sort of thing that really gives insight on Si's character, without you having to sit there and just talk about his traits. :3

Thank you. ^_^ This is meant to be the turning point in Si's life. You mentioned before that Si did not seem patient or anything like the man he would become in the first half of the bio. Well that's because he hadn't met Master Teiko yet.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si's half brother, Ganner Dysar, had grown from that toddler clinging to his mother on Panatha into a brilliant young Force adept."[/i[
Unfortunately, since Si knows that the boy is his half-brother, the council would not allow this. During the current timeline, they're very strict about the whole 'cutting ties with the past' thing.

--"and in fact Ganner's first Master had declined to continue his training."
By this point, Ganner either would have been seriously disciplined, and if that had not worked, his training would have been halted alltogether, and they would have sent him to the corps. Better to not train a volatile Knight that could easily betray the order. Furthermore, it's very unlikely that Ganner would have had such a cross personality -- he was, after all, raised by Jedi. Jedis' character flaws tend to be more subtle than outright obstinance.

I'm going to address both these issues together, as they are related. Ganner was a problem and he was disciplined, though I thought that detail not important to mention. His last chance would come in being Si Quan's padawan. The excuse then, for allowing Si to take on his half-brother as a padawan is that it is a special case in which none of the other potential Knights/Masters wished to train him. Also, considering Si is a much more experienced Knight now, taking on a case like Ganner would be a significant challenge/test for him. Also keep in mind Si never knew Ganner outside of the Temple.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"There, Alex, along with hordes of hired mercenaries and misplaced Mandalorians had began gathering an army which would threaten the security of the surrounding systems and ultimately the Republic."
In our Timeline, it's unlikely that one man could amass such an 'army', but a 'following' would better fit,and be just as formiddable.

Edited.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Several Jedi and Republic pilots lost their lives on the approach to the Sith Interdictor The Tempest"
The Sith didn't begin to re-form until within one year IC, so there'd be no Sith army at this point. I also hesitate to allow a battle on such grand scale, when the Republic has been in relative peace for the past few decades... However, something more on the scale of what, say, a riot or threat like the National Guard would handle, would be fine.

Well the Sith are not involved. Just a Sith Interdictor ship which was likely found discarded on Raxis Prime and restored to working condition.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

And it isn't anything at all, remotely close to even possibly resembling Luke's time on Dagobah with Yoda.... ;3

If this is referring to Master Teiko and Ruusan then all I have to say is =P

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--""When he gets like this is when he gets dangerous.""
How does Ganner know this? It struck me as odd, so I figured I'd mention it.

You might remember as Si entered the bridge he found several bodies on the floor and one Jedi being dispatched. The implication that Ganner's words give here is that Miles did this before when he killed the other Jedi who are currently on the floor. My apologies if that was confusing.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"An explosion of Force power ripped outward, twisting the durasteel panels within the bridge, smashing many of the controls and impacting Miles like a sledge, sending him skipping back to his father."
This sounds more like Force Absorb -- and even if it's Force Repulse, using the Force with this much power is not something a Master just inherently knows. It would make sense for Si to be able to do this, but his studying Force Repulise or Force Absorb would need to have been mentioned previously in the bio.

It is Repulse. If you want to call drawing in the Force from around you "Absorb" then, ok, but I was under the impression that calling on and drawing in the Force was something all Jedi were taught to do. As for him being able to use Repulse, I figured it to be an extension of his abilities with Telekinesis, which he has displayed a talent for throughout his time as a Jedi. Though if you want a specific instance where he is taught to use it at that level then I can add it to his training with Teiko. Let me know on that one.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si used the Force to bear the pain and mend some of the damage to his internal organs, though it would not be enough if he wasn't able to get medical attention soon."
No problem here, just some feedback. Si has some pretty significant abilities -- replacing some event-exposition with some more detailed description of his training and progress.

Si was never specifically trained to stab himself, he kind of did that on his own. Not trying to give too much away, I mentioned during his training with Teiko that his physical training integrated with increased Force focus had given him a tolerance for pain beyond that of a normal Jedi, but his actually using the ability "Crucitorn" didn't occur until he stabbed himself here. It's fair to say Si wasn't 100% sure when he did this whether he'd survive it or not.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Because of this, upon being named a Master, Udin Thos dubbed Si, "Soresu Master Si Quan"."
It seems he'd end up with something more referring to his ability to sacrifice anything for the sake of the mission/others. Stabbing yourself with a saber is a much bigger deal than fending off a whole bunch of blaster bolts. X)

Hehe, I do agree. But I can't think of a moniker as catchy as Soresu Si Quan that would fit with that, can you?

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"It wasn't that the Force wasn't substantially strong with her, but simply that there currently weren't enough Masters to train the new Younglings."
With the size of youngling classes, and several affiliated enclaves, all younglings with enough force potential would be admitted. However, bringing him to the order could engage him in the youngling process, and make him want to help.

Fixed that.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Last 18 years: You skim over these relatively quickly, but you touch on all the important parts, except one, so insert that one and you're good. :3 What did Si learn from having Kyo as a Padawan? How did he change in those ten years?

Added.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho - 5
Makashi - 1
Soresu - 5
Ataru - 2
Shien / Djem So - 4
>>Sub-form Backhanded - N/A
Niman - 2
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield - 1
Juyo N/A
Double Bladed Combat

With Jedi Masters, there tends to be a plateau around the late-thirties early forties. Usually, a Consular or a Sentinel doesn't have a reason to study more than three forms, and once they master them, simply hone their skills, and don't study others. At his age, Si could certainly have three forms mastered -- and maybe four, if you have a good enough reason.

Ok, I edited that. I'm assuming the three does not include Shii Cho, if it does just let me know and I'll take away the mastery of Niman.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Any 9's or 8's need to be explicitely stated and explained in the bio. Though Si does seem talented with body, there's nothing to establish such extensive training.
As a sentinel, I could see him having a 9 and two 7's, or a 9, an 8, and the 7 down to a 6.

Brought the 7 down to a 6.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Kind of the same as above, his training in these skills needs to be stated -- why he chose to study them, and how much work he put into mastering them.

Well he uses Crucitorn in stabbing himself to defeat Alex Drake, and I've already explained how he became able to do that. As for Repulse, I'm pretty sure you're going to want me to add that to the Teiko trials but I'll still wait for you to confirm.

Jan 21, 2011 22:58:43 GMT -5 Kella said:

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 7
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 9
Leadership: 8
These stats are without augmentation by the Force, and a professional human sprinter would probably have about a 7 in speed, to put things into perspective. The scale applies across all species, and some are naturally much faster than humans. Also, as it is, the bio supports a 6 in leadership. If you want a 7 or an 8, then Si's struggles in learning how to be a leader need to be in his bio.

Ok, I wasn't aware that it was a cross species thing. I lowered the Speed and the leadership to 6's.

*exhales* and there we are. xD Ball's back in your court.

EDIT: Also I want to bring to your attention that, in light of the new extended list of specialized Force Powers, I've added "Force Valor" to the list of Si Quan's Specialized powers. Much of what Si learned from Teiko about augmenting his physical abilities through the Force falls under Force Valor.

[Kella]

--They can't. Jal's speeder was sabotaged if you remember. The speeder Si took belonged to the Mandalorian."
Aaaah, yes. Even more reason for it to be implausible, then. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out a new UI system, and I consider myself very tech savvy. xD Let alone a six year old just hopping on and figuring it out. And, in the desert, auto-pilot doesn't make much sense at all, especially for a speeder, which is on the ground.

--"I'm not sure she did try and hide it. I could go into all the details of Alex and Sarah's romance and their attempts to hide it from the Council, but that would seem to distract from what is important about this part of the story, which, as you mention just ahead, already is a side step from the main plot."
The issue here is that it directly affects Si's future -- if the Jedi found out she was pregnant, that would mean she was having a romantic affair, and since the current order is so strict, she would be seriously reprimanded -- if not 'banished' from the order for betraying the code.

--"Si's attempt to crush the barrel did not go off without a hitch, and that is something I did to point out his lack of polish with the ability."
Even so, a Padawan would not be able to do this without specific study in crush techniques. On the same note, if he tried and eventually failed, rather than succeeding, that would help develop his character.

--"At six years old when he last saw her, I think he may remember his mother. It seems more likely to me, actually, that Yu would not recognize him at first, because he is a teenager now and having gone through the wonders of puberty probably looks very different than he did on Tatooine."
Actually, it's striking how similar people can look through their different stages. I've had quite a bit of experience with that. X) I've also had a lot of experience with kids, and I tend not to recognize the faces of people I knew when I was six -- even though I remember them. So the same stands, but I do see what you're saying.

--"Jedi in the library of the Jedi Temple aren't even allowed access to holocrons? Strict. =P Ok, I'll change it."
Said holocrons not really existing has something to do with it... xD

--"Forgive me, but it's really important to Si that he has that pearl xD. Perhaps it was taken from him as a youngling and returned to him when the time came to construct his lightsaber?"
Unfortunately, that's just not how the Jedi work -- and they're especially strict in this era. Cutting attachments to family and the past is an important part of being a Jedi. So, sadly, I can't make exceptions on this one. Besides, a greater representation of sacrifice would be giving up the one thing he had that most epitomized his father.


Trial of Skill -- needs to be against another blade practitioner, but can often be simulated in the temple.

--"The excuse then, for allowing Si to take on his half-brother as a padawan is that it is a special case in which none of the other potential Knights/Masters wished to train him."
A Jedi's life is sacrifice -- they would simply assign the challenge to another Jedi before they gave Ganner to Si, who could potentially see Ganner as a tie to his parents. The only way to have Si train Ganner is if Ganner is submitted to the order without Si ever meeting his mother again. Then, Ganner truly would have the anonymity of a Jedi, and since Si would not know he had familial ties, the council would allow it.

--"Well the Sith are not involved. Just a Sith Interdictor ship which was likely found discarded on Raxis Prime and restored to working condition."
Then go ahead and pick a different ship. :3 There are probably some stock ones in the tech section you can use.

--"Though if you want a specific instance where he is taught to use it at that level then I can add it to his training with Teiko. Let me know on that one."
Go ahead and add that to his training. :3 IC, you're right about it being an extension of TK, but OOC, it's a restricted force power and needs to be mentioned.

--"Si was never specifically trained to stab himself, he kind of did that on his own. Not trying to give too much away"
Quoted the wrong section, there. X) The point being the powers he used before that, during the battle. Same vein as above. :3

--"Hehe, I do agree. But I can't think of a moniker as catchy as Soresu Si Quan that would fit with that, can you?"
More of a tongue-twister than catchy, but not a big deal. X)

--"Well he uses Crucitorn in stabbing himself to defeat Alex Drake, and I've already explained how he became able to do that."
It's not explicitly mentioned, though, and even though it might seem odd to do so IC, it's an OOC restricted force powers thing. :3

--"EDIT: Also I want to bring to your attention that, in light of the new extended list of specialized Force Powers, I've added "Force Valor" to the list of Si Quan's Specialized powers. Much of what Si learned from Teiko about augmenting his physical abilities through the Force falls under Force Valor."
The fact that it's from the specialized force powers list definitely means it needs to be explicitly stated and traced in the bio -- not just implied.



Whenever I come across something iffy in a bio, the first thing I do is see if I can come up with a reason for it to be plausible. As long as it doesn't contradict what's written, I let it slide. So, the things that I do ask you to change are things for which I have considered the alternatives, and haven't found any that don't require edits. I promise I don't just fling things at you for the fun of it. X)

[Cain]

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

Whenever I come across something iffy in a bio, the first thing I do is see if I can come up with a reason for it to be plausible. As long as it doesn't contradict what's written, I let it slide. So, the things that I do ask you to change are things for which I have considered the alternatives, and haven't found any that don't require edits. I promise I don't just fling things at you for the fun of it. X)

I don't assume that you do, but I would be remiss if I didn't defend my positions after spending all that time writing the bio. ;)

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--They can't. Jal's speeder was sabotaged if you remember. The speeder Si took belonged to the Mandalorian."
Aaaah, yes. Even more reason for it to be implausible, then. I have a hard enough time trying to figure out a new UI system, and I consider myself very tech savvy. xD Let alone a six year old just hopping on and figuring it out. And, in the desert, auto-pilot doesn't make much sense at all, especially for a speeder, which is on the ground.

Changed to have Master Thos finding him in the desert.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"I'm not sure she did try and hide it. I could go into all the details of Alex and Sarah's romance and their attempts to hide it from the Council, but that would seem to distract from what is important about this part of the story, which, as you mention just ahead, already is a side step from the main plot."
The issue here is that it directly affects Si's future -- if the Jedi found out she was pregnant, that would mean she was having a romantic affair, and since the current order is so strict, she would be seriously reprimanded -- if not 'banished' from the order for betraying the code.

Edited this part. Now the council has found out about the pregnancy and was about to decree a punishment on Alex and Sarah when Alex went off the handle and murdered his wife.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Si's attempt to crush the barrel did not go off without a hitch, and that is something I did to point out his lack of polish with the ability."
Even so, a Padawan would not be able to do this without specific study in crush techniques. On the same note, if he tried and eventually failed, rather than succeeding, that would help develop his character.

Changed this so that the attempt failed and that Maha's deflection of the blaster shot was redirected at Kade, which is now what killed him.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Forgive me, but it's really important to Si that he has that pearl xD. Perhaps it was taken from him as a youngling and returned to him when the time came to construct his lightsaber?"
Unfortunately, that's just not how the Jedi work -- and they're especially strict in this era. Cutting attachments to family and the past is an important part of being a Jedi. So, sadly, I can't make exceptions on this one. Besides, a greater representation of sacrifice would be giving up the one thing he had that most epitomized his father.

*Dies a little inside* Ok, I'll cut that part out. :'( I also expanded the "constructing a lightsaber" section a bit.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

Trial of Skill -- needs to be against another blade practitioner, but can often be simulated in the temple.

That could easily be placed under the encounter with Alex on Dxun as well, but that would be no fun. =P See the new section of the bio called "The Prodigal Knight" (occurs when he's 20 years old)

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"The excuse then, for allowing Si to take on his half-brother as a padawan is that it is a special case in which none of the other potential Knights/Masters wished to train him."
A Jedi's life is sacrifice -- they would simply assign the challenge to another Jedi before they gave Ganner to Si, who could potentially see Ganner as a tie to his parents. The only way to have Si train Ganner is if Ganner is submitted to the order without Si ever meeting his mother again. Then, Ganner truly would have the anonymity of a Jedi, and since Si would not know he had familial ties, the council would allow it.

Edited it so that Si never recognized Yu as his mother on Panatha, nor did she recognize him.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Well the Sith are not involved. Just a Sith Interdictor ship which was likely found discarded on Raxis Prime and restored to working condition."
Then go ahead and pick a different ship. :3 There are probably some stock ones in the tech section you can use.

Done. It is now an old Republic Cruiser.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Though if you want a specific instance where he is taught to use it at that level then I can add it to his training with Teiko. Let me know on that one."
Go ahead and add that to his training. :3 IC, you're right about it being an extension of TK, but OOC, it's a restricted force power and needs to be mentioned.

It is added, and Force Repulse is specifically mentioned.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"Well he uses Crucitorn in stabbing himself to defeat Alex Drake, and I've already explained how he became able to do that."
It's not explicitly mentioned, though, and even though it might seem odd to do so IC, it's an OOC restricted force powers thing. :3

Crucitorn is now specifically mentioned right after Si Quan stabs himself as the power he uses to endure the pain.

Jan 27, 2011 22:46:21 GMT -5 Kella said:

--"EDIT: Also I want to bring to your attention that, in light of the new extended list of specialized Force Powers, I've added "Force Valor" to the list of Si Quan's Specialized powers. Much of what Si learned from Teiko about augmenting his physical abilities through the Force falls under Force Valor."
The fact that it's from the specialized force powers list definitely means it needs to be explicitly stated and traced in the bio -- not just implied.

Valor is now specifically mentioned during Si's training with Teiko.

[Kella]

JUST DOWN TO THE STATS! AHA! ALMOST THERE! WE CAN MAKE IT!

Practiced Lightsaber forms:

Shii-Cho - 5
Makashi - N/A
Soresu - 5
Ataru - N/A
Shien / Djem So - 5
>>Sub-form Backhanded - N/A
Niman - 5
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield - 2
Juyo N/A
Double Bladed Combat

Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:

Telekinetic: 8
Telepathic: 5
Body: 9
Sense: 6
Protection: 6
Healing: 6
Destruction: 0

Specialized Skills:
Force Repulse
Crucitorn
Force Valor

Attributes:

Physical Strength: 7
Intelligence: 7
Speed: 6
Leadership: 6

Unarmed: 6
Melee Weapons: 4
Ranged Weapons: 6

Force Attunement: +7

Being a Sentinel, Si would not really have a reason to master more than 3 saber forms total, and simply hone his skills in those areas. Especially at ages this high, masters tend to plateau skill-wise, especially with lightsaber forms. X) There's really no reason to learn more than three, even more so when one is Niman, unless one is a guardian.

Also, being a Sentinel, he wouldn't have a 9, as those are mostly just for consulars... and 9's in Body mostly just for Guardians. X) So, pop that 9 to an 8, and you're all set.

Human/Epicanthix doesn't really justify a 7 in Strength, as that's about the level of a professional human body-builder... and Si Quan struck me more as the wisdom-and-efficiency type than the spend-all-day-training-for-combat type. :3 So a 6 would still be significant, but more plausible.

Lemme know when you've got those done, and then we should be almost there. :3

[Cain]

Feb 24, 2011 0:59:17 GMT -5 Kella said:

Being a Sentinel, Si would not really have a reason to master more than 3 saber forms total, and simply hone his skills in those areas. Especially at ages this high, masters tend to plateau skill-wise, especially with lightsaber forms. X) There's really no reason to learn more than three, even more so when one is Niman, unless one is a guardian.

Removed Niman from the Si's list of forms.

Feb 24, 2011 0:59:17 GMT -5 Kella said:

Also, being a Sentinel, he wouldn't have a 9, as those are mostly just for consulars... and 9's in Body mostly just for Guardians. X) So, pop that 9 to an 8, and you're all set.

Well, this is where Si is an interesting case. He was a Consular for the first part of his training, and more of a Guardian during his training under Teiko. It's because he's dabbled in both that I've classified him as a Sentinel, though he could just as easily be called a Jedi Watchmen, or an Instructor, as he is all of those things. I guess my point is "Sentinel" alone does not define Si Quan.

Also, if we called him something else, like a Watchmen, his ability to use Crucitorn, Force Valor, and Soresu at the level that he demonstrates in the bio probably warrants a 9, does it not?

Feb 24, 2011 0:59:17 GMT -5 Kella said:

Human/Epicanthix doesn't really justify a 7 in Strength, as that's about the level of a professional human body-builder... and Si Quan struck me more as the wisdom-and-efficiency type than the spend-all-day-training-for-combat type. :3 So a 6 would still be significant, but more plausible.

Adjusted.

[Kella]

Nooooooot in body. :3

And you mentioning that he's drifted around a bit further emphasizes his lack of specialty. X) Studying cooking, then studying baking, does not make you an expert cook and baker -- it makes you simply very good at each, but expert at neither. Same principle. So, what I said before still stands.

I promise, I don't just randomly come up with these things. xD There's always a very good reason for any feedback I provide.

Also, I've asked Twysper to give it a final skim, just to make sure I didn't gloss over anything important. :3

[Cain]

Ok then. I've changed the Body stat to an 8.

[Twysper]

Harro. =3

Demon raccoon Jedi mod (finally) here to give a last skim through of the bio for logic and the lack thereof, as per request of Kella.

Let’s get started. :3

~~~~~~~~~

Down on his luck and in debt to the Hutts on Tatooine, Jal decided to risk it all hunting on Panatha. It was a world most hunters avoided due to the savage nature of the native Epicanthix.

This is more a matter of semantics than anything particularly wrong, but Epicanthix aren't savages. :3 They're a civilized sentient race of warriors (like the Echani), not barbarians.

After using her charms to convince Kade into allowing her to take a holiday on Naboo, Yu took the credits and left Panatha with Jal on board his ship.

A man as powerful as he would not sit back and be made a fool of Kade immediately removed the credits from his wife's account, and whats more he tipped off the Hutts to Yu and Jal's impending arrival.

Credits can be physical objects; I'd think particularly in this case, the easier solution would be to have the money physically with them to prevent just such a thing happening.

Unaware of the danger, Yu and Jal landed at Mos Espa. They were met there by Ubese bounty hunters who immediately took them into custody. They were both brought before Granda the Hutt where Yu discovered her credits were now gone. With nothing to pay the Hutts back, Granda ordered that Jal be executed while Yu be sent back to her husband. The situation seemed grim, there was only one solution that Jal could think of that might get them both off the hook. Jal announced that he had intended to bring Yu to Granda to be the Hutt's slave in order to pay off his debts. Granda, very much liking the idea of keeping the woman for himself, agreed to Jal's terms.

Alright....

Kade, senator-man, tips off the Hutt that his wife and someone she may be having an affair with(/is someone the Hutt wants) is going to show up on the planet, and then Jal decides to try and sell her into slavery to pay off his debts.

Aaaaand the Hutt accepts. :3

If Kade is really all that powerful, the Hutt wouldn't want to piss him off by keeping her as a slave, because he (Kade) knows exactly where she is, and likely as not, would want her back.

The logic's not entirely there right now, as it's stated...

At that point Jal could have jumped into his starship and burned sky until he saw lines. His debt was paid and he was free to do now as he pleased. Only a man with a death wish or perhaps a special sort of idiot would have thrown that away. Love, it seems, has a way of making fools of the best of us. Jal could not bring himself to leave Yu behind. Armed with a heavy repeating blaster and a thermal detonator Jal broke into Granda's palace late at night to rescue Yu Quan. After killing most of Granda's Ubese guards as they slept, Jal finished the Hutt slug and most of his palace with a blast from his thermal detonator. It was a move that would insure that Jal would live with a death mark for the rest of his days... but in his eyes it was a small price to pay.

Alright, since we seem to be using one of the Star Wars movies as inspiration for this bit, allow me to point out a few things...

A. There are other ways to kill Hutts in their palaces besides thermal detonators. Just saying. =3

B. Luke Skywalker, arguably one of the strongest force users in canon, (granted, not particularly at this point in time) did not try charging in to Jabba's palace lightsaber guns blazing. Why? Because taking on numerous heavily armed and armored bounty hunters isn't a good idea for anyone who wants to live more than fifteen seconds.

And yes, I do like my bios slightly more believable than the average action movie. =3

C. Security? This isn't Splinter Cell, and you make Jal out to be a love-crazed gunslinger right here. I'd think as soon as he shot one of the bounty hunters, the entire palace's guards would be put on alert/hustle off to find him with the aid of security cameras. :3

D. If he basically nuked the palace with a thermal detonator then who was left to say that he did it? Hutts would have a hard time figuring where to put a deathmark without any eyewitnesses that happened to know Jal's name, yes?

By the time Si was five years old his parents had begun to notice their son's special gifts. Si seemed to be able to sense his mother's moods and mirror them. This didn't seem particularly abnormal as Yu had always been able to project her feelings on others. It wasn't until Si was also able to feel the emotions of his father that Yu was able to speculate that her son too might have a gift.

Force usage before training at a young age is a no-go, plain and simple. He'd have better reflexes, and that's it.

Jal also spent a good deal of time teaching his son. Si's father showed him how to track prey, even in a world as barren as Tatooine. He also taught his son to shoot and handle a blaster. Si's proficiency with the weapon astounded Jal, particularly his skill at hitting moving targets.

"Here son, this is a dangerous weapon, I know you're only five, but I have faith that you understand the concepts behind leading targets."

:3 I don't think so.

With Udin's help Si was able to return to his home only to find it had been ransacked. Yu was no where to be found. Si would not find out for many years that the Mandalorian had reported his sighting of Jal which sent up red flags back on Panatha as to the whereabouts of the Senator's missing daughter...

Why would a bounty hunter first report to anyone that he had found an expensive target gone to ground for ten years?

The stillness and quiet of nature provided a great deal of calm for young Si. His father had taught him a lot about it during their hunts. Being alone among the trees and the waterfalls brought Si back to a happier place.

Sorta nitpicky, buuuut his father took him hunting on Tatooine. World of sand and rocky cliffs-- bears no relation to trees and waterfalls.

Si Quan graduated to the rank of Padawan at age thirteen.

If he was already thirteen, he would've been shipped off to the corps already, unless he was taken right on his thirteenth birthday, which should really be mentioned as it's not the normal case at all. =3 Quick edit, really.

The 'disturbing story of Alex Drake.'

Please impress me with the size and visibility of the 'Warning, disturbing content' tags you place around this section of bio. (Dun be a smart-ass 'bout it either.)

This is a PG-13 forum, and the descriptions here are pushing it.

While you may argue that disturbing is right in the title, it's not the same, and I'm adamant on that. :3

Nothing personal against the writing, but yeah, do that.

Jedi Master Teiko

Yep, I’m not going to let you slide by without mentioning this. :33333

As far as this chapter goes-- *sigh* Did you have to rip on Yoda’s speech pattern, general character, training, and sayings? >_>

…Moving on…

It seemed that Kade Dysar had been associated with some less than savory characters. Kade had strong ties to the Hutts on Tatooine and to the Exchange, both considered criminal organizations by the Republic. Though the evidence was scarce it would be enough to warrant an arrest. With the head of the PIM in custody, it would cripple their ability to organize and make war. Senator Quan was wary of the Jedi's plan, but ultimately agreed. He informed the Jedi that Kade's palace would be heavily guarded and that many of his followers would likely be willing to lay down their lives in order to protect their charismatic leader. It seemed arresting Kade Dysar was easier said then done.

Cut off the head of a snake, a dozen more splinter factions spring up. The plan is fundamentally flawed because the movement is written to be so large.

Planet-wide.

Hypothetically now...

50% of the population of Earth decide to start a movement to change leadership of a central government.

The leader gets arrested by said government.

50% of the dissenting populace is now joined with, say, another 10% of the original loyalist 50% that now feel the central government is being oppressive/unfair. 60% of the population has the manpower to actually overthrow the government.

Things constructively accomplished in this scenario- 0

Yep, it's rather basic, but it's valid. I could pitch more scenarios, but the end result would be mostly the same; stopping something that big simply by getting rid of the leader isn't going to work.

Seeing Maha's lightsaber and realizing then that the intruders were Jedi, Kade adjusted the aim of his blaster to the back of his wife. He threatened to fire if either Jedi made a move. Si maintained his calm, visualizing the Force this time wrapping around the barrel of Kade's blaster and pinching it shut. Being as inexperienced as he was, however, Si failed to perceive the increase in anxiety within Kade. It was a serious of emotional cues that signaled to Maha that Kade was ready to act out violently. Taking the initiative, Maha leaped between Kade and his wife and knocked the blaster bolt back at Kade with his lightsaber. The blast struck Kade in the chest, killing him instantly.

Maha was disappointed that they had been unable to capture Kade peacefully, however, to their surprise his wife and son thanked the Jedi for their efforts. Kade, it seemed, was just as much of a tyrant in his home life as he was among his people.

Lessee here....

About 30 seconds before this, Maha accurately sliced the handles of energy whips out of someone's hands without actually causing them harm. Why has he now lost the ability to slice things in half (like, a blaster) so accurately?

It doesn't make sense for Maha to have regrets about killing Kade, because he's fully capable of deflecting the bolt to the side; in fact, I dare say getting the trajectory of the bolt to retrace its path would be more challenging than the simple deflection. If he means to kill Kade, that’s a different matter.

For the last piece of his new lightsaber, Si would venture, as many Jedi had, to the crystal caves of the ice world Ilum. For this mission Si would need to go alone, though this was not as daunting to Si as it may have been to others. Finding his way around on a barren wasteland of a planet was something Si was not totally unfamiliar with, after all.

Living on Tatooine at age five does not equal survival skills get. =3 But if you're referencing something else, by all means, show me. xD

This beast was a Gorgodon, a ferocious predator of Ilum. Having only the Force to defend himself with at the moment, Si had little room for error.

Like, I know Si was going to Ilum for the very purpose of building a lightsaber, but given that…

A. he went alone,

and...

B. there is apparently dangerous predators on Ilum

....wouldn't someone have at least recommended to him that he borrow a different lightsaber for a little bit, in case of such a stipulation?

It takes about a month to build a lightsaber, for the record, so it's not like he could go there and just slap everything together in an hour. =3

The mercs in front stepped forward, kneeling down on a knee so that those behind could also have a clear shot at the Jedi. Their armor smacking against the durasteel paneled floor reverberated around the open hanger like thunder. Then, the storm. A rain of blaster bolts descended on Si Quan whose lightsaber twisted back and forth through the air, flicking aside each bolt that came within close proximity to his body. As the mandalorians continued to pour the blaster fire on, slowly the redirected bolts from Si's lightsaber were picking off the mercenaries, thinning out the lines.

No way in the nine Corellian hells. :3

Unless, you know, the Mandos were using muskets. Then it’s just unlikely he’d live through it. Massed formations and all that.

A repeating blaster has an RPM rating of anywhere from 300-800 shots. The 300 in this instance is being generous, because you do say the mandos are wanderers and thus might not have top quality equipment. That’s fine, I can roll with that. =3

However, that’s still five shots a second.

5 shots per second x 100 mandos = 500 shots per second.

Five hundred separate projectiles in a second, from multiple directions. I’m thinking a little less than a 180* arc of fire. Given the varied equipment, some of the bolts are moving at higher velocities than others, but that’s still enough volume of fire that trying to deflect it all would be like holding a lightsaber in front of a tidal wave.

Not to mention, even if the feat of deflection was possible, and unless this is the squad of the reject, down-sydrome mandos, I’d assume that in the midst of this one of them would have the presence of mind to stop shooting and throw a grenade while Si was pinned down.

Edit this. He could probably handle about ten mercs if he was standing still and passively deflecting fire like you say he is.

Most of the mercenaries hit by returning blaster bolts were only wounded, though a few had been suffered mortal injuries. The groans of the injured convinced the final ten Mandalorians to stop their fire and draw their vibroblades. They were smart enough to realize just shooting at the Jedi wasn't going to work.

While sort of a moot point because the number of them is going to have to be brought down...

"Yes, let us go engage the Jedi who just single-handedly deflected a wall of plasma with his lighsaber in close quarters combat, I’m sure that’ll go well now that there’s only ten of us left."

I return to my comments about them being mentally retarded mandos. :3

Si closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly he lifted his lightsaber hilt and pressed it to his chest, "There is no death... there is the Force," he whispered to himself before activating the blade.

Alex let out an abbreviated scream as the sensation of his chest being seared from the inside out washed over him. His concentration broken, Alex doubled over in pain. Si remained upright on his feet, deactivating the lightsaber as soon as Alex's grip on his mind was severed. The blade had missed his heart, but had burnt through his flesh, muscle, part of his lung and out the other side. The pain was blinding, and the internal damage might have caused him to pass out and die if he had not been able to maintain control through the Force. It was a power known as Crucitorn, one that few Jedi were able to master that allowed Si to endure more pain then might have otherwise been possible. Si used the Force to bear the pain and mend some of the damage to his internal organs, though it would not be enough if he wasn't able to get medical attention soon.

There are a few things worthy of mention in this bit here…

A. I'm thinking Force forced-mind-meld is really a no-go. At that point, what you’ve described is more akin to Control Mind, which is performed through Sith Magic, which is one of those touchy subjects ‘round here.

B. The only information wookiee gives on Crucitorn is a short blurb; “Crucitorn was a Jedi Technique for transcending physical pain beyond normal thresholds.”

That’s all well and good, but Si is so unaffected by the lightsaber (because Crucitorn) he can even remain standing, even as it's stated that he hit one of his own lungs.

Then there’s the matter of intelligence. Why not simply just glance his chest with the lightsaber blade? :3 If the force would still transmit the pain, it should be just as effective, and less permanently damaging. People don’t jump right to the conclusion that they need to shoot themselves in the chest, yippee ki yay burn a hole through their chest.

C. There's a limit to how much force power a Jedi has at a time, and using Crucitorn to withstand an injury that would probably be fatal otherwise and then healing himself is kinda mrrrrrrrr...

However, there’s another, far more critical oversight that was made here. While it is said that Alex ‘doubles over in pain,’ the character then proceeds to drop off the face of the galaxy while Si takes his sweet time saying good bye to Miles and carrying the other Jedi out. Given that he didn’t burn a hole in his chest with a lightsaber, I’d think Alex would have recovered by then.

And Si is in no condition to fight him.

Really gonna have to fix that.

Si immediately took action, moving between the two combating parties with his lightsaber ignited, batting the barrage of blaster bolts away from their respective targets. After both sides realized they were making no progress, the order was given to cease fire.

Another instance of GMing with Soresu... When blaster bolt A is coming from the left, and at the same time, blaster bolt B is coming from the right, and there’s one lightsaber, only one bolt can be blocked.

He’d have better luck if he was using force protection, which can provide a constant barrier as long as the user is focused on maintaining it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


That should be it from me. Clear those up, quote the changes you made, and we can have Si approved in short order.

[Cain]

*sigh* Time for round two...

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

This is more a matter of semantics than anything particularly wrong, but Epicanthix aren't savages. :3 They're a civilized sentient race of warriors (like the Echani), not barbarians.

Deja vous much? I thought I fixed that wording when Kella mentioned it, but I'll go back and mod that to say the "violent" nature of the Epicanthix, which is what I intended in saying savage, to imply they were cut-throats, not uncivilized.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Credits can be physical objects; I'd think particularly in this case, the easier solution would be to have the money physically with them to prevent just such a thing happening

Alright....

Kade, senator-man, tips off the Hutt that his wife and someone she may be having an affair with(/is someone the Hutt wants) is going to show up on the planet, and then Jal decides to try and sell her into slavery to pay off his debts.

Aaaaand the Hutt accepts. :3

If Kade is really all that powerful, the Hutt wouldn't want to piss him off by keeping her as a slave, because he (Kade) knows exactly where she is, and likely as not, would want her back.

The logic's not entirely there right now, as it's stated...

Ok, the thing about the credits being removed is no longer there. Now they show up, Yu pays off Jal's debt and then is immediately arrested to be returned to Kade on Panatha.

Unaware of the danger, Yu and Jal landed at Mos Espa. They were met there by Ubese bounty hunters who immediately took them into custody. They were both brought before Granda the Hutt where, after paying off Jal's debt, Yu was informed that she was to be returned to her husband on Panatha.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Alright, since we seem to be using one of the Star Wars movies as inspiration for this bit, allow me to point out a few things...

A. There are other ways to kill Hutts in their palaces besides thermal detonators. Just saying. =3

Duly noted. =P

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

B. Luke Skywalker, arguably one of the strongest force users in canon, (granted, not particularly at this point in time) did not try charging in to Jabba's palace lightsaber guns blazing. Why? Because taking on numerous heavily armed and armored bounty hunters isn't a good idea for anyone who wants to live more than fifteen seconds.

And yes, I do like my bios slightly more believable than the average action movie. =3

C. Security? This isn't Splinter Cell, and you make Jal out to be a love-crazed gunslinger right here. I'd think as soon as he shot one of the bounty hunters, the entire palace's guards would be put on alert/hustle off to find him with the aid of security cameras. :3

Seeing as how this section is not as important to the actual character of Si Quan as others, and is only a means to set up Si's father's future demise, I believe it would be more prudent to offer less detail on this particular episode rather than more. Simply stating that Jal broke Yu out of the palace accomplishes what is needed for the story, and that way we spare the readers any Die Hard flashbacks.

Jal could not bring himself to leave Yu behind. Jal broke into Granda's palace late at night to rescue Yu Quan. It was a move that would insure that Jal would live with a death mark for the rest of his days... but in his eyes it was a small price to pay.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Force usage before training at a young age is a no-go, plain and simple. He'd have better reflexes, and that's it.

Deleted that part.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

"Here son, this is a dangerous weapon, I know you're only five, but I have faith that you understand the concepts behind leading targets."

:3 I don't think so.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to differ with you on this one. I don't see why Jal couldn't have shown his son how to handle a blaster, especially when Jal had every intention to raise the boy to be a hunter like his father. Also, while your mocking of my bio here was humorous, I never did say that Jal intended for him to understand how to lead a target, in fact I said he was quite surprised that Si picked up on how to do it.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Why would a bounty hunter first report to anyone that he had found an expensive target gone to ground for ten years?

Amended that.

Si would not find out for many years that the Mandalorians had been tracking Jal for some time. At the same time that Jal was being attacked, a seperate bounty hunter had gone after Yu, who herself had accumulated quite a bounty for her return to Panatha alive...

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Sorta nitpicky, buuuut his father took him hunting on Tatooine. World of sand and rocky cliffs-- bears no relation to trees and waterfalls.

Indeed, I am aware of that. The point here is that Si finds the peacefulness of nature to be calming, whatever that nature may be.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

If he was already thirteen, he would've been shipped off to the corps already, unless he was taken right on his thirteenth birthday, which should really be mentioned as it's not the normal case at all. =3 Quick edit, really.

Changed it to 12.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Please impress me with the size and visibility of the 'Warning, disturbing content' tags you place around this section of bio. (Dun be a smart-ass 'bout it either.)

This is a PG-13 forum, and the descriptions here are pushing it.

While you may argue that disturbing is right in the title, it's not the same, and I'm adamant on that. :3

Nothing personal against the writing, but yeah, do that.

I understand completely. It will be done.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Yep, I’m not going to let you slide by without mentioning this. :33333

As far as this chapter goes-- *sigh* Did you have to rip on Yoda’s speech pattern, general character, training, and sayings? >_>

…Moving on…

I take it you don't like Teiko then xD. Actually this character was inspired more by Pai Mei from Kill Bill than by Yoda, though there certainly is some Yoda in there. I don't think it's as total a rip as you're making it out to be, but I apologize if you were dissatisfied with any similarities there may have been. Moving on.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Cut off the head of a snake, a dozen more splinter factions spring up. The plan is fundamentally flawed because the movement is written to be so large.

Planet-wide.

Hypothetically now...

50% of the population of Earth decide to start a movement to change leadership of a central government.

The leader gets arrested by said government.

50% of the dissenting populace is now joined with, say, another 10% of the original loyalist 50% that now feel the central government is being oppressive/unfair. 60% of the population has the manpower to actually overthrow the government.

Things constructively accomplished in this scenario- 0

Yep, it's rather basic, but it's valid. I could pitch more scenarios, but the end result would be mostly the same; stopping something that big simply by getting rid of the leader isn't going to work.

Kade Dysar was the key figure calling for civil war on Panatha. Why? So that he could become the planet's new ruler. With Kade removed, yes, there would still be Epicanthix who were displeased with the Republic, but the threat of all out war would be greatly reduced once a new secretary was placed in control of the military, and a potential usurper and traitor would be eliminated.

There's nothing wrong with the plan, while it may not solve every problem on Panatha, it isn't without it's own logic. Which means it's not absurd to conclude that it would happen, which also means it probably doesn't need to be radically modded, which I believe is the heart of this matter.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Lessee here....

About 30 seconds before this, Maha accurately sliced the handles of energy whips out of someone's hands without actually causing them harm. Why has he now lost the ability to slice things in half (like, a blaster) so accurately?

Well it might have something to do with the woman and child that Kade had pointed his blaster at and the possibility that charging forward in order to slice his blaster might provoke a shot at some innocents... which Kade did anyway before Maha could attack, and Maha defended them and disabled Kade at the same time. Problem solved. Why did we need to bring this up again?

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

It doesn't make sense for Maha to have regrets about killing Kade, because he's fully capable of deflecting the bolt to the side; in fact, I dare say getting the trajectory of the bolt to retrace its path would be more challenging than the simple deflection. If he means to kill Kade, that’s a different matter.

Sure he could have, but you see Maha wanted to end the threat to Ganner and Yu, and he did so by neutralizing Kade with his own blaster bolt. Maha knew exactly what he was doing in redirecting that blaster bolt at Kade, but that doesn't mean he can't have regrets about the situation unfolding as it had. It absolutely makes sense that he would feel regretful that such violence was necessary.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Living on Tatooine at age five does not equal survival skills get. =3 But if you're referencing something else, by all means, show me. xD

Well let's keep this in the context of what I have written in the bio; Si notices a puddle is disturbed and claw marks on a stalagmite, and from that infers the presence of a creature. You're saying that he could not have learned that much when he was five. (or even have the common sense to infer it without such instruction) Why not?

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Like, I know Si was going to Ilum for the very purpose of building a lightsaber, but given that…

A. he went alone,

and...

B. there is apparently dangerous predators on Ilum

....wouldn't someone have at least recommended to him that he borrow a different lightsaber for a little bit, in case of such a stipulation?

It takes about a month to build a lightsaber, for the record, so it's not like he could go there and just slap everything together in an hour. =3

Does this really make so little sense that it needs to be mentioned? Maybe the point of this part of the story is setting up Si's use of Force Repulse for a future event, and in that case having him not have the lightsaber is a necessary plot device.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

No way in the nine Corellian hells. :3

Unless, you know, the Mandos were using muskets. Then it’s just unlikely he’d live through it. Massed formations and all that.

A repeating blaster has an RPM rating of anywhere from 300-800 shots. The 300 in this instance is being generous, because you do say the mandos are wanderers and thus might not have top quality equipment. That’s fine, I can roll with that. =3

However, that’s still five shots a second.

5 shots per second x 100 mandos = 500 shots per second.

Five hundred separate projectiles in a second, from multiple directions. I’m thinking a little less than a 180* arc of fire. Given the varied equipment, some of the bolts are moving at higher velocities than others, but that’s still enough volume of fire that trying to deflect it all would be like holding a lightsaber in front of a tidal wave.

Not to mention, even if the feat of deflection was possible, and unless this is the squad of the reject, down-sydrome mandos, I’d assume that in the midst of this one of them would have the presence of mind to stop shooting and throw a grenade while Si was pinned down.

Edit this. He could probably handle about ten mercs if he was standing still and passively deflecting fire like you say he is.

While I do not totally agree with all of your logic here, I do understand the concern. I have no intention of having Si taking on entire squads of well armed troopers on his own in the RP. This section (Raxis Prime) is intended to establish Si Quan's infamy as a Soresu Master. I think it can still achieve that by conforming to the numbers you've suggested, so I'll go ahead and edit that.

The hanger was occupied by some of Alex's top Mandalorian mercenaries, he had anticipated the Jedi's intervention. Staring down the barrel of ten blasters, it was suggested that the Jedi attempt to find an alternate route to the bridge.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

While sort of a moot point because the number of them is going to have to be brought down...

"Yes, let us go engage the Jedi who just single-handedly deflected a wall of plasma with his lighsaber in close quarters combat, I’m sure that’ll go well now that there’s only ten of us left."

I return to my comments about them being mentally retarded mandos. :3

The way I see it Mandalorians have honor and wouldn't run unless they were humongous cowards like Drak'o. Though I also write in my bio that the Mandalorians were having doubts and that Si used them to convince them to put down their weapons and leave. But no need to consider any of that, it's funnier if we just think of them as retarded.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

There are a few things worthy of mention in this bit here…

A. I'm thinking Force forced-mind-meld is really a no-go. At that point, what you’ve described is more akin to Control Mind, which is performed through Sith Magic, which is one of those touchy subjects ‘round here.

Why is what Alex is and is not able to do prudent to my character? I can understand maybe the Sith Magic thing, cause, well there are no Sith at this time, but Force Corrupt can accomplish much of what Alex is doing here without Sith Magic.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

B. The only information wookiee gives on Crucitorn is a short blurb; “Crucitorn was a Jedi Technique for transcending physical pain beyond normal thresholds.”

That’s all well and good, but Si is so unaffected by the lightsaber (because Crucitorn) he can even remain standing, even as it's stated that he hit one of his own lungs.

Then there’s the matter of intelligence. Why not simply just glance his chest with the lightsaber blade? :3 If the force would still transmit the pain, it should be just as effective, and less permanently damaging. People don’t jump right to the conclusion that they need to shoot themselves in the chest, yippee ki yay burn a hole through their chest.

To explain this, I'll throw it over to you:

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

However, there’s another, far more critical oversight that was made here. While it is said that Alex ‘doubles over in pain,’ the character then proceeds to drop off the face of the galaxy while Si takes his sweet time saying good bye to Miles and carrying the other Jedi out. Given that he didn’t burn a hole in his chest with a lightsaber, I’d think Alex would have recovered by then.

And Si is in no condition to fight him.

Alright, I'll shed some light on all of this for you.

1) At the time Si is doing this, he is not aware he has any ability called "Crucitorn". You will note that Crucitorn is never mentioned to Si by name, his ability to use it is gained through years of intense physical training which forces him to use the Force to augment his physicality in order to extend his endurance far beyond it's normal limits.

2) In order to prevent Alex from escaping or even using him in the same manner as he did Miles, Si is willing to sacrifice himself here, which is why he inflicts a blow that in most cases would be fatal, and also says "there is no death... etc etc" just before doing it. Si did not think he would survive, though his abilities to withstand the pain allowed him to do so. If he simply burned himself then the problem you state where Alex isn't put down long enough would have some merit, and really there is a time factor seeing as how the ship is plunging into Raxis Prime. So Si had three choices here really, sacrifice himself and stop Alex. Burn himself and keep fighting him. Do nothing and allow Alex to escape the ship with a new puppet. He picked the first. A Jedi's life is sacrifice, after all.

3) When you do something like say, driving a foreign object through your chest cavity, the pain generated will tend to send most people into shock. This is where we find Alex, this is why he did that rather then just burn his skin.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

C. There's a limit to how much force power a Jedi has at a time, and using Crucitorn to withstand an injury that would probably be fatal otherwise and then healing himself is kinda mrrrrrrrr...

I can fix this one. Removed the need for him to heal himself right there on the spot.

The blade had missed his heart, but had burnt through his flesh and muscle and emerged out on the other side. The pain was blinding, and the internal damage might have caused him to pass out and die if he had not been able to maintain control through the Force. It was a power known as Crucitorn, one that few Jedi were able to master that allowed Si to endure more pain then might have otherwise been possible. Si used the Force to bear the pain, though it would not be enough if he wasn't able to get medical attention soon.

Mar 3, 2011 12:02:22 GMT -5 Twysper said:

Another instance of GMing with Soresu... When blaster bolt A is coming from the left, and at the same time, blaster bolt B is coming from the right, and there’s one lightsaber, only one bolt can be blocked.

He’d have better luck if he was using force protection, which can provide a constant barrier as long as the user is focused on maintaining it.

Rather than argue here, I'll just go with Force protection. I'm tired xD.

Si immediately took action, moving between the two combating parties with his lightsaber ignited, batting the barrage of blaster bolts away from their respective targets with the assistance of a barrier created with the Force. After both sides realized they were making no progress, the order was given to cease fire.

And there we have it. I'm sure this is no where near ready yet, but I do look forward to working with you in the future.

[Kella]

Alright, since Twysper has some RL stuff, I'll be answering your questions!

The thing is, if we tell you something needs to be edited... It needs to be edited. There is no way to explain it further, without editing it, that will suffice.

Both myself and Twysper, before we provide any feedback, try to think of ways that something could be plausible. If we find ways, we don't give the feedback.

If we don't, we request an edit. So, any amount of explaining OOC is not going to fix the problem. Period. Just kind of the way things are. xD

So. Here we go.

--"but I'll go back and mod that to say the "violent" nature of the Epicanthix, which is what I intended in saying savage, to imply they were cut-throats, not uncivilized."
But the Epicanthix are not violent. They are not cut-throats. That is the problem. xD They are honorable warriors. That doesn't mean they go trying to kill people at any chance. So yes, this still needs to be edited, as it gives the wrong impression.

--"I don't see why Jal couldn't have shown his son how to handle a blaster, especially when Jal had every intention to raise the boy to be a hunter like his father."
I live with three six year olds. xD So, not gonna happen. Period. I hardly even trust them with Nerf guns...

--"Indeed, I am aware of that. The point here is that Si finds the peacefulness of nature to be calming, whatever that nature may be. "
Buuuuuuuuut he's never seen waterfalls or trees. So it sounds to me like you're just making excuses not to have to edit it. ;D Prove me wrong.

--"There's nothing wrong with the plan, while it may not solve every problem on Panatha, it isn't without it's own logic. Which means it's not absurd to conclude that it would happen, which also means it probably doesn't need to be radically modded, which I believe is the heart of this matter."
The arrest of Kade may be kept as it is, but you need to make mention to how the Jedi solved the problems resulting from the anarchy that followed. You need to make it clear that killing Kade did not solve all the problems or save the planet. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Unless you want to change them going after Kade, of course.

--"Well it might have something to do with the woman and child that Kade had pointed his blaster at and the possibility that charging forward in order to slice his blaster might provoke a shot at some innocents... which Kade did anyway before Maha could attack, and Maha defended them and disabled Kade at the same time."
Jedi are trained to be above emotion, so he would not hesitate out of lack of confidence or clear mind. Furthermore, as a Jedi, he's much faster than Kade. So, there still needs to be an explicitly stated, sensical reason as to why a Jedi master was rendered incapable.

--"It absolutely makes sense that he would feel regretful that such violence was necessary."
If it were necessary, as a Jedi, he would feel no regret. Regret is an undesired emotion. Sorrow, perhaps, that it was necessary, but not regret.

--"You're saying that he could not have learned that much when he was five. (or even have the common sense to infer it without such instruction)"
Not when he was five, no. It could only be a common sense thing, which means you should have no mention of his having special survival skills. He's just not a total dunce. xD

--"Does this really make so little sense that it needs to be mentioned? Maybe the point of this part of the story is setting up Si's use of Force Repulse for a future event, and in that case having him not have the lightsaber is a necessary plot device."
There are Jedi in and out of the caves all the time looking for and cataloging saber crystals. There might be small nasties, but nothing big and deadly like this. Also, the bit about lightsabers taking a month to construct stands.
However, he could get the crystals in the cave, and mediate on them/build the saber elsewhere. There's even a little temple over the crystal caves. Now, I know Wookiee says it's not constantly occupied, but that's in reference to the Clone Wars era, I believe, and there are a LOT more Jedi in this era. So enough hustle and bustle to keep the Monsters off. If you want to keep the monster encounter, he must be accompanied by his master for the duration of his time in the caves. Period.

--"Why is what Alex is and is not able to do prudent to my character? "
It's prudent, because what Alex DOES to your character, is prudent to your character. xD You're the one who put him in the bio, with an extensive backstory, which must mean you think he's an important character. And what he can do is an important part of that.
That being said, I'd like you to take out the confusing language where you mention that their minds are becoming one, and change it into something more like Alex trying to simply infiltrate his mind and flip through his memories and such. The second is much more acceptable, but achieves the same plot purpose.


--"1) At the time Si is doing this, he is not aware he has any ability called "Crucitorn". You will note that Crucitorn is never mentioned to Si by name, his ability to use it is gained through years of intense physical training which forces him to use the Force to augment his physicality in order to extend his endurance far beyond it's normal limits."
Yes, but that's small stuff. He's never been stabbed in the chest by a lightsaber before. There's no just 'coming across that pain in training', or the like. You have to be specifically trained, in special conditions, to be able to withstand this amount of pain when it finally comes. Canon or not, I feel that is a fair limit on this ability. One you need to implement.

--"3) When you do something like say, driving a foreign object through your chest cavity, the pain generated will tend to send most people into shock. This is where we find Alex, this is why he did that rather then just burn his skin."
Except, as soon as the mind connection is broken, as it would be, as soon as Alex felt that pain, his pain would stop. Furthermore, there is no actual damage to his tissues, so the lasting damage would be minimal. And if Quan gets his pain-resisting abilities just through intense training, Alex would have the same ones. There's no reason Alex wouldn't be able to stand through the attack -- especially since he'd be undergoing less stress and pain than Quan.

Here's the Ultimatum: If Si stabs himself, he must barely survive. Crucitorn would only explain him not dying, not him being able to stand and rescue his Padawan. So, if Si is stabbed, you will need to find another way to get him off the ship.

If see remains standing and gets his Paddy off the ship, then he must only clip himself with the blade, using the pain to distract Alex, then dealing with him in a permanent way, not just leaving him behind.

In both cases, Alex needs to be dealt with in a final way, as he would recover quickly from the assault.


Alright, so that should take care of that bit. ^^


--"[WARNING]: If you're at all squeamish, it is recommended that you forgo the reading of this section of the bio."
I am neither impressed by the size, nor the obvious-ness. Nor is this really acceptable. I'm not squeamish, in any definition of the word, but I did not necessarily enjoy reading that bit. It's not about being squeamish, or not being able to take it, it's about wanting to spend time reading something like that.
You need to make it clear that that section involves graphic and violent content. This is a serious matter, so do not try to make it 'fun' or 'interesting' -- make it clear.



--"The scene in the hanger before him was a dazzling light show, a stream of glowing red converging on a single man who appeared to be swaddled in a cocoon of furious green light."
Because of the edits that have been made, this is no longer consistent with what's happened. While dramatic, it's -too- dramatic. :3 Tone it down a bit, otherwise, it's going to sound pretentious.


If all those things are changed as I described, you should be good to go!

And, as always, if you have questions or contentions, you're free to put them forth.