The Magdalene Order (WIP)

[Reece Thompson]

Faction Name:The Magdalene Order

Faction Purpose:Banish all demons and devils. Destroy all enemies of the Church. Provide assistance to those in need.

Faction Planet: Maltherion

Financial wealth:The Magdalene Order are not a particularly wealthy organisation. They survive on donations from wealthy sources, and reward money from those it assists. Many people still wonder how such an organisation can survive on donations, however, its creator, Hirrer Juhnort- An extremely wealthy Human- left his entire life to the Magdalene order. It was enough to create a small army and a number of Starships. They kept some in reserve, just in case.

Military assets:The Army of the Magdalene Order is not as large or experience as that of the republic, or Sith. It was formed several months after the actual order was, after an uprising on Maltherion almost destroyed the temple.

ARMY:

Crusaders: The standard soldiers of the Magdalene Order. They wear special battle armour and are equipped with blasters and vibroblades.

Cleric: Specialised soldiers of the Order. These men often excel at one thing.
• Close Combat
• Sniping
• Demolitions
• Recovery
• Recon

Angels: The highest ranking soldiers of the Magdalene Order. These are the soldiers that were taught by Jedi. They use special lightsabers and are skilled with the force.

NAVY:
The Magdalene Order Navy only consists of a few frigates, a dozen corvettes and a dozen shuttles.

All members of the Magdalene Order hold a specialised watch.


This shows that they are members of the Magdalene Order. The watch may only be opened by its owner.

Form of Government:
Fathers and Sisters: The leaders of the Magdalene order. A council of superiors. They sit at the heart of the Order, directing all actions. Each member is the head of a separate department.

Grand Father Superior- Leader of Civilian Matters. He is the head of the Council and is widely regarded as the envoy to 'The Light'.
Grand Mother Superior- Leader of the Army. Deputy Head of the Council. Equal rank to Grand Father Superior.
Brother Superior of Research and Development
Sister Superior of Medical Affairs
Brother Superior of Judicial Affairs
Sister Superior of Financial Affairs
Brother Superior of Public Affairs
Sister Superior of Political Affairs (Rarely needed. Only in times of planetary crisis.)


Faction History:
The Magdalene Order was formed several hundred years ago by an ex-Jedi turned wealthy nobleman named Hirrer Juhnort with the assistance of several dozen of the heavily religious members of a Maltherion Church. The Church had decided long ago that it needed some form of military force on Maltherion, but never had the money. Hirrer offered the money on a few conditions. The Army was named after his late wife, Lady Magdalena and that he would be one of the members in charge. Obviously, as the terms were not to distressing, and they needed the money, the Maltherion church agreed. Hirrer formed it with the intention of assisting the Church and many others in the galaxy. When he was extremely old he promised to leave everything he had to the church. He sold everything he had to travelling sales and gathered up a substantial amount of money. Hirrer Juhnort was a force adept, and was well known for his ability to see into the future. When the Magdalene Order reached five months old, Hirrer had an uneasy vision. Fire, Death, Despair. He detected what he believed to be an uprising. Hirrer described the vision to the Council and requested that they begin work on an Army, to defend the temple. As Hirrer had donated the most money to the Order, and he cared deeply about it, the Council agreed and they began work on their army.

A number of force adepts were found on Maltherion. They were taught the ways of the Jedi and became the Order’s Angels. Non force-users became Crusaders, and were given specialised armour and blasters. They were also given vibroblades and taught how to use them.

Four months after the agreed formation of the Order’s army, Hirrer died. The planet held a large ceremony in his honour.

A further four months after Hirrer’s death, an attack took place on the temple.

The government of Maltherion began to feel uneasy with the rising popularity of the Church. They sent several requests to cease the activity or move elsewhere, but were met with responses of ‘The Light’s work must be started here.’ The citizens of Maltherion began to defend the church against the verbal onslaught from the government.

Eventually, the government showed its true hand. It sent a military force to the temple and began attacking it.

The Order mobilised what little military it had. A single battalion of two hundred crusaders and several dozen angels. They held the temple for a number of months before salvation was at hand. Thousands and thousands of civilians descended upon the attacker, crushing them between the untrained masses and the well trained few. The attackers quickly surrendered and a few even believed it to be the work of a ‘Celestial Force’ that they had lost and they joined the others.

Those who didn’t join were released and they went back to the government. Not long afterwards, civilians began protests to remove their government from power, and give the church complete control.

After several weeks, the protests succeeded and the government collapsed. Ultimate Sovereignty was given to the Church, who accepted it.

As soon as they accepted sovereignty, people began paying their taxes to the church. The Church quickly stopped this, but claimed that they were more than willing to accept donations. People continued to donate money to the church.

The Church had not forgotten Hirrer’s words though. It restarted its military building and after three years had a fully fledged army. Not one to stand a chance against large organisations such as the republic or the Sith, but enough to hold out against raiders and small attacks.

It began to notice some outstanding individuals scattered amongst groups of men. It pulled all of these men out and formed them into specialised groups called Bishops.

As soon as that was done, they started work and began buying ships to move their troops around. They bought several damaged frigates, a dozen corvettes of varying conditions and a substantial amount of shuttles.

They began using the ships and repaired them on the go.

A small strike team was sent to a small planet whilst it was under Sith control. They were merely there to conduct a peace treaty with the Sith. The last thing the Order needed was an empire descending upon it.
The strike team consisted of two groups of crusaders- twenty men each- and 2 groups of Angels- four men each. The Angels had not yet given the title though. That was to arrive very soon.

Along the way to the Sith base to meet the Sith master there, they were walking along the upper streets. As they walked they saw the conditions that some people were living in. A small child- along with the rest of the family- was being beaten by a group of Sith soldiers.

The Angels refused to stand for it and they went over and disposed of the Sith soldiers. They removed the soldiers and made sure the family was safe before moving on.

It was at that point they had earned the name Angels after the young child who was being beaten named one of the Jedi her Guardian Angel.

The Magdalene Order was unable to forge a treaty with the Sith, but managed to forge one with the Republic.

---

List of current members:
TheReeceGoesMoo
junior92

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Creating a Character for the Magdalene Order.

Angel Application
[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Race:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Height:[/b]
[b]Weight:[/b]

[b]Appearance:[/b]

[b]Personality:[/b]

[b]Birth place:[/b]

[b]Faction:[/b] Magdalene Order
[b]Rank:[/b]Angel

[b]Lightsaber:[/b]
[b]Color:[/b]Blue

[b]Practiced Lightsaber forms:[/b]

Shii-Cho
Makashi
Soresu
Ataru
Shien / Djem So
>>Sub-form Backhanded
Niman
>>Sub-form Jar-kai, or Dual Wield
Juyo
Double Bladed Combat

[b]Force-Sensitive Abilities or practices:[/b]

[b]Telekinetic:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Telepathic:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Body:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Sense:[/b] 1 – 10
[b]Protection:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Healing:[/b] 1 – 10
[b]Destruction:[/b] 1 – 10

[b]Specialized Skills:[/b]

[b]Attributes: [/b]

[b]Physical Strength:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Intelligence: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Speed: [/b]1 – 10
[b]Leadership: [/b]1 - 10

[b]Unarmed: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Melee Weapons:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Ranged Weapons:[/b] 1 - 10

[b]Force Attunement:[/b]3 - 10

[b]Bio:[/b]


There can be no members of the Magdalene Order who are less than a 3 in Force Attunement.

Crusader/ Bishop Application

[b]Faction:[/b]Magdalene Order
[b]Rank:[/b]Crusader/ Bishop
[b]Specialty:[/b]Close Combat/Sniper/Demolitions/Recon/Recovery (BISHOPS ONLY. ONE CHOICE)

[b]Name:[/b]
[b]Race:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Height:[/b]
[b]Weight:[/b]
[b]Birth place:[/b]

[b]Appearance:[/b]

[b]Personality:[/b]

[b]Skills:[/b](Dependant on Specialty)


[b]Attributes: [/b]

[b]Physical Strength:[/b] 1 - 10
[b]Intelligence: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Speed: [/b]1 – 10
[b]Leadership: [/b]1 - 10

[b]Unarmed: [/b]1 - 10
[b]Melee Weapons:[/b] 1 – 10
[b]Ranged Weapons:[/b] 1 – 10

[b]Alignment:[/b] 3 - 10

[b]Bio:[/b]

[b]RP Sample:[/b]

[Karl the Unfettered]

Why do we need an expy of the Catholic church here at SWU? It's unnecessary, and will only end badly; I suggest you junk this and work on something else that isn't so obviously a stand-in for a real world religion and organization.

[Rugs]

This is fine X) Concept-wise, anyway. The names are a bit... blatant, but there's no need to scrap it all.

However, I want to note a few things for you.

It really would probably be easiest to keep this whole shebang as something that was born from some independent group of Forcies, rather than the Jedi Order. The idea of a Grandmaster starting it especially seems a bit shaky, and should probably be changed. Perhaps to a former Jedi or something, but I can't see the head of the Order becoming involved in the way you currently have it written out.

Also, as interesting as the idea of special lightsabers like the ones shown is, the admins are pretty strict about things like that. If you want lightsabers that are large, there are things like lightclubs, though they're a bit large for normal-sized people. There's also long-handled sabers, pikes, etc.

Custom sabers like that, however, aren't allowed by site policy.

Resource-wise, this looks fine for now.

Now, for your history:

Again, I can pretty much guarantee you the thing with a Jedi Grand Master being the one to kick this all off is going to have to be adjusted to something else. For one, if the church needed help and the Order got involved, the Order would likely provide help themselves, rather than establishing another sect of Forcies. Furthermore, if the Grand Master stayed there the rest of his life, he would no longer be a Grand Master, or even a Jedi for that matter.

Now, with that said, if the individual that starts this is a Jedi, they likely won't be able to provide the kind of massive donation that you detail in the history. Jedi don't really own anything beyond their robes and their lightsaber, so he wouldn't have much to give. Of course, if this was someone who was not associated with the Jedi Order, then it becomes possible.

As for the whole issue with the army and everything, some more clarification on when everything happens would be very nice. The way it is now, it almost seems like he tells them to make an army, they do it, and then the little civil war or whatever breaks out, all in a very short period of time. Building an army is a slow, expensive process, so it would probably be good to say that this happened over the course of a few years, if not decades. Then there's the whole reason of why they'd build an army. Just because some guy told them to? Nothing's impossible, but some more here would probably be good.

Maybe he was known for having visions, and had one for why they might need one further down the road. Perhaps the church already had some form of an army due to tensions with the government, or perhaps they're like the Stellar Mythics (shameless plug) and have had to deal with some kind of uprising that required force to be put down. Or it could be something else. Something with a bit more substance, y'know?

The citizens began rebelling against their government and accepted the church as their leader. They began to believe in a single god.

This left me wondering something. Was the sudden swelling in the belief in a single god something that blossomed during this rebellion? Or was it something that was already among the tenets of the Chruch? Personally, I think it might be easier for you to pull this off as being something the established religious order already believed, as it's a much easier way to get the conversion that it just spontaneously happening. And then as the church started to grow in power and the government started to see their own power start to slip away, you've got the foundation for the brief(?) civil war that breaks out. Just a suggestion.

Now, that probably looks like a lot, and I suppose it might be, but with some work, I think you can make an interesting little group here. I'd certainly be happy to offer any help that I can along the way. All you need to do is ask.

[Reece Thompson]

First of all, I don't mean this to sound like the Christian church. I'm very sorry if it does. All religions sound the same to me (not religious myself.)

The lightsaber issue, I don't my my lightsabers to look like that. It's just how it looked in the show. They would be normal blades, I merely want the hilt to look like a cross, but that was the only decent picture I could find. Sorry.

I shall change the Grand Master to a normal Jedi, who then, due to providing great assistance was named Grand Master, even though he wasnt.

He wasn't a grand master of the Jedi, just of the Church.

Then, as you said, I might just make it a random force user who wasn't accosiated with them. That way, he could actually be wealthy.
I'm definately going for the visions thing. He saw the uprising, but he didnt know when it would be.

What do you guys think would be best?


As for the god issue, I was thinking, the inhabitants liked the church and started turning towards God anyway. The governemtn didn't like the idea of being second to someone they had no proof of, (I know how that feels ) so they tried to remove the Church from their planet. However, people defended the church and the fact that the governemtn was so jealous and so powerless against god made them turn more.
If you get my meaning.
The fact that the government couldn't defeat God made people believe more, even though it was just the fact that they had helped.

---

But yeah, that faction history isnt complete, I just ran out of time last night.

---

For anyone religious here, Deepest Apologies if I have offended you. I didn't plan on it sounding Catholic, but i dont know that much about religion. I'm much more science and politics.

[Jenno]

Okay, there are going to be a number of ways that you can make this less like Catholicism and more like a religion of its own, based on what you've put up so far (this way it won't seem like a bad copy). Mostly it involves coming up with new words for things you've chosen.

The word Church could be changed to something else, sanctum or simply temple. You can pretty much choose from a wide variety of options, you could simply call it House if you wanted, or even just simply as the Order, similar to how the Jedi and Sith are referred. This would avoid it being too similar to Catholicism.

Also, the name 'God' for their God, this is a big one as, whilst some religions do simply use their translation of the word, if you've played any interesting video games, there are a lot of ways you can avoid this seeming so similar. In Dragon Age for example the divine entity is referred to as 'The Maker'. Now, there are many many different things you can use for the name instead of just simply 'God', you could even make up word to fill the purpose.

The names of the military assets could also be altered. Though I see these being things that you'd actually rather have. However, just a notice, given the close relation all this bears to Catholicism, calling the group of the military who are Force-users 'Angels' is somewhat offensive to the current established Catholic Church, or at the very least, is a disregard for the word's meaning. As the term carries a fair bit of meaning and significance behind it, wouldn't this mean they would view the Jedi and Sith as such? It might be an idea to clearly define how this Order views the two factions of Force-users in relation to their own.

Also, another significant thing is the whole lightsaber hilts shaped as crosses. This doesn't mesh well and makes the concept stand out, the cross comes from the events surrounding Jesus Christ, I'm sure you know the tale. But this Order doesn't have the same reason to use such a symbol. If there's a symbol for a religion then it's going to be significant to the entire establishment of the Order. The lightsaber itself serves this purpose for the Jedi as it is their symbol of being part of the Order. You may want to rethink this, plus including that extra weight on the hilt wouldn't be doing you any favours, especially given that the blades are regular size, they'd often get in the way, and make easy targets to slice off with another lightsaber.

Just something on the Form of Government. You use the term Father for the main leader and the term Mother for the female leader as it were. To begin with, can these roles be reversed? Does the male have to be in charge and the female second in command? If so, why? Is there a reason this religion does not allow a female leader despite the fact that such sexism rarely exists in the galaxy. And my main point was that to make this section seem less like the Catholic Church. After the initial two leaders you then have the two terms as 'Father' and 'Sister', would it not be better to change it to 'Brother' and 'Sister'? This way you're making it slightly different (or you could find a way for them to refer to this completely differently) and also avoiding some of the subtle sexism that wouldn't really exist for such an Order.

I believe Rugs covered the history aspect, I just wanted to mention a few things.

Thank you and good luck,

~Jenno

[sparrow]

Mar 8, 2011 4:43:59 GMT -5 Jenno said:

Is there a reason this religion does not allow a female leader despite the fact that such sexism rarely exists in the galaxy.

Actually I wouldn't say that that's true. There are plenty of matriarchal or patriarchal societies in the SW universe. For example, the Hapans and the Witches of Dathomir are both examples of matriarchal societies. On the other hand, Jawa clans always have a male chief and a female shaman, and Tusken Raider culture is also heavily segregated by gender.

Point is, it's not unusual for a SW culture to have different gender roles. The Father/Sister part is weird though.

[Jenno]

I viewing things more from the Republic point of view/ a wide overview of the general Republic populous, in comparison to our own current systems. I kind of got the feeling that this religion wanted to be above such things, though I may have misinterpreted the intention. And at the same time perhaps viewed too strictly from a certain view-point.

[Reece Thompson]

The two leaders have the same rank. I suppose I should reword that.

It's just that one is incharge of the military (the female) and the other is in charge of everything else.
That's just how I wanted it.

I find that the cross is just generally a religious shape and I wanted the senior members of my Order to have distinct lightsabers. Something that you could look at and know instantly who it belongs to.

I want the names of the military aspects to remain the same. I know that they are heavily catholic, but they were the most religious names I could think of. Despite not being religious, I live in a catholic area, so I asked around.
Now I think back, it was probably fairly dodgy.

I'm basing the majority of my stuff on the Magdalene Order from Chrono Crusade, except bringing it into the future... or past... DAMN YOU GEORGE! Why did you say along time ago!

---

As for the relations between the real Jedi/Sith, I plan to include that in the history. I havent quite finished it yet.

They don't support either the republic or the sith, they have peace treaties with both, but they prefer the Jedi to the Sith.

They prefer the Jedi because they assist others whereas the Sith are self serving.

---

I used the term angels because as I plan to put into the bio later on, the name was chosen by a small chuld of all things. Not intentionally of course.

Basically, the child was 'in a spot of bother' when one of the Jedi/Angels jumped infront and used force powers to defeat the enemy. The small child then called the Jedi his 'Angel' for saving his life. The Grand Mother Superior heard of this and decdied that it was a good name for her force using soldiers.

---

As for the Father and Sister, that was a mistake.
That was supposed to be Brother and Sister superior but I must have got carried away.

I shall continue work on this as soon as I can.

[Reece Thompson]

All fixed.

[Kella]

The cross's use as a religious symbol is actually very interesting, an heavily historical. Originally, It was a roman torture device. Like the electric chair, only much, much, much slower. When Jesus was crucified, it was the ultimate shameful death. But, when he was resurrected, thereby beating even death, that same cross became a symbol of hope to the group of people who had come to follow Jesus' teachings in his three years out and about, who called themselves the church.

So Christians are basically adorning themselves with roman torture devices. X)

So, as you can see, using this symbol in a SW universe religion doesn't make much sense at all. X) that's why I went ahead and explained it, instead of just telling you. This definitely rules out crosses as a symbol for these guys. You could find another symbol, maybe. Something printed on the sabers instead of their shape, perhaps.


As for angels, those have already been established in universe, so not a big deal, but it's up to you how strongly you want it to look like a rip-off of the Catholic Church. X)

[Reece Thompson]

So the Angels aren't a problem... OK.

As for the cross thing, I never really mentioned it.... so what if I just have it as a personal thing for a character.

[Latus]

Something that I see possible for this (which would move it away from the idea of an IRL concept and into your own creativity) is creating a doctrine around the purpose of the faction. As this appears to be a church or church-like, what do they teach their people as to how they should carry themselves or act? Think of this like the force's mantra; "There is no X, there is only Y." Don't use it exactly in that manner but more as an example. This doctrine thing could also give you a vehicle to explain the cross shaped symbolism.

Its primary purpose appears to fight all demons/devils. What are demons and devils? To solidify this into a belief carried out by a whole planet they must have had to do something terrible. Or, are they the ideal of the "evil" archetype in which none actually exist but are something every person must face in their daily lives.

"The attackers quickly surrendered and a few even believed it to be the work of a ‘God’ that they had lost and they joined the others." Personally I think you should stay away from the word "God" as much as possible; its far too reminiscent of the Cristian deity. Consider Jenno's idea; Dragon age had people who called their deity the maker. It sounds more original and sci-fi/fantasy than simply "God." Perhaps Holy One, The Creator, The Light, The Winds, Perfect One, etc.

[Reece Thompson]

God could mean anything though.

Most religions have 'god' as the name just in a different language.

Which reminds me... what's god in wookie. I thought it was rwaawawarr, but im not sure.

The Light sounds good though. I might use that one. As long as you don't copyright it.

---

As for the devils and demons, I meant the metaphor one. Although it's something a church would say.

But they are actually just the evil things that people do from day to day.

---

As for the doctrine thing. I can't think of anything.
I know it's lazy but, does anyone have any I could use...

[Rugs]

While I'm not too terribly concerned about the titles used at the moment, since I think it'd be much better to focus on the mechanics of everything to make sure it's all workable and play with changing words later, if what they call their deity is that big of a deal, here's a list of deities in the SW universe. Most of them are probably planet/culture specific, but you might be able to find something. For what it's worth, 'God' is one of them. It's a stub, but hey.

I have another class in a few minutes, but I'll look through your updated history and everything later this evening and give you another review.

[Rugs]

Double post of doom!!!!1!!1!!!1ONE

Anyway, the history's getting better. Here's what I noticed:

A small strike team was sent to Taris whilst it was under Sith control. They were merely there to conduct a peace treaty with the Sith. The last thing the Order needed was an empire descending upon it.
The strike team consisted of two groups of crusaders- twenty men each- and 2 groups of Angels- four men each. The Angels had not yet given the title though. That was to arrive very soon.

Along the way to the Sith base to meet the Sith master there, they were walking along the upper streets. As they walked they saw the conditions that some people were living in. A small child- along with the rest of the family- was being beaten by a group of Sith soldiers.

The Angels refused to stand for it and they went over and disposed of the Sith soldiers. They removed the soldiers and made sure the family was safe before moving on.

It was at that point they had earned the name Angels after the young child who was being beaten named one of the Jedi her Guardian Angel.

Despite that incident, which managed to remain secret, the Magdalene Order managed to forge a treaty with the Sith empire.

Several weeks afterwards, they forged a treaty with the Republic.

This is something where it would be good to know when this happened. As things currently stand, the Sith Empire does not control Taris. The Empire under Malak did for a short while, but we know how that ended. It was also ~300 years before where we are now. So, with that in mind, whatever treaty they may have signed with a previous Empire wouldn't be valid with the current invaders. New empire and all that.

I'm not really sure how willing the Sith would be to accept a treaty with an order like this, especially if they're seen as being Jedi-like or were trained by/have some kind of connection to the Jedi. And by their own mission statement, it seems they'd want to work against the Sith in some way, knowing what they do. Perhaps not by going to war directly, but providing what aid they can to those that fight against the Sith. Just an observation...


The only other thing that I can really think of from the history at the moment is trying to figure out how they got to be trained in the ways of the Jedi. To really know the ways of the Jedi, you have to be (or formally have been) a Jedi, and now that the guy that kicked it off was some unaffiliated Forcie, there's not really any explanation as to how that happened.


And, just out of curiosity, what do you intend to do with this faction? You plan to have them go a-conquestin', or are they just sorta gonna do their own thing?

You also might want to think of changing the world. To my knowledge, Nirauan is not on the boards. You could always make your own, but given the number of worlds we have on the site, I'm sure you can find one to use.


Anyway, that's all I got for now, I think.

[Reece Thompson]

I could always remove the treaty with the Sith and just say that the Church's location remained hidden. Like the secret rebel base on Yavin 4.

Oh god... I did it again, always giving away secret information.

---

I think I'll stick the 'The Light' after looking through that list. Some of those were kind funky. I didn't have that much problem with it, but if a christian does sign up, or there is one here I don't want to offend them.

Especially if the christian is an admin.

I shall take scan through some of the planets on the board and see if one catches my fancy.

As for the big creator dude, I was thinking ex jedi. I don't really know though.

And their army is too small for a big ol' conquest. They just do their own thing and occasionally helps the republic do theirs.

I'll make a seperate planet then. I had a quickly browse through the outer rim and nothing caught my fancy. Those that did I read the story behind them and realised it didn't suit my needs.

[Rugs]

Yeah, I think leaving out any treaty stuff with the Sith might be the easiest thing to do.

As for what's-his-face being a former Jedi, that works, I suppose.

I figured as much for them just doing their own thing, just wanted to check.

Word of advice: While you go through working out the kinks for this, you might want to start looking for other players that are interested in joining. To get the final approval and have this moved to the accepted section, you'll need four other people, and it's good to be proactive.

[Reece Thompson]

So, where should I post to ask people to join?

EDIT:

I made the home planet. Just waiting for approval before I change the names here.

[Rugs]

The Roleplay Requests and Roleplay Partners boards are good places to ask. You can also talk to people in the cbox.

[Reece Thompson]

Wonderful. Thanks much.

EDIT:

Got one person lined up. A second character. Just have to get Maltherion approved first.