The Looking Glass (Lmr)

[Ghostie]

Sirius still didn't see how he could look back on things that created bad memories with fond feelings. Right now all he felt went he looked back was loss and hurt. The same feelings that were present at the time the memories happened. Perhaps it just took wisdom to find something good. Maybe it just came with time, like Teer said.

What were some good properties of his past masters? Kellar was always full of knowledge. Like a big box full of random facts about events or things. He found a way to make those facts fun. And Wolf Barren, he was always warm, and friendly. Something of a father-figure to Sirius.

“Master Kellar, he always had these fun facts about random things. I swear, sometimes it seemed like he knew everything. And Master Barren was so warm, and he was kind. But firm when he needed to be, and taught good lessons. Almost like a father.”

Sirius hadn't started off smiling, but when he finished recollecting about his past masters, he was. He could see the good things. They didn't make the bad go away, but neither did the bad spoil everything like before.

Teer moved to the window and looked out at the skyline. It was dark now, the sky alight with the different colors of Coruscant and nightlife. The planet truly never slept. Sirius wondered just how long he had been out. He moved back onto the cushion, looking out at the lights. Some were so distant to be confused as stars, and there were stars fading into the lights as well.

Teer still didn't seem clear to Sirius. His heart wouldn't fail him. But to him his heart, his feelings, were what got him into trouble in his vision. She had mentioned his conscience also. That voice in the back of his head, telling him right from wrong. Some people were more in tune to it than others.

It seemed like it would be hard to do, to not deviate or stray when seeking justice. In Teer's case, it would've been so easy to deviate. She had been sent after the person who killed her lover anyways. Sirius, in his vision, had failed when seeking justice. It was a thin line.

“It's a very thin line then I guess. It seems there's not much separating a Jedi's course of action from someone who has fallen, besides their feelings and actions. Because in my vision, it seemed like the right course of action to hunt that dark Jedi. I guess it was just done wrong.”

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

Teer could tell at a glance that Sirius had proven himself wrong and found the good memories. That was gratifying for her, as she enjoyed seeing her Padawan in his happier moments. It was a tragedy to see the young despondent, as the human boy had often been since the loss of his arm.

Even with the perils of young love ever-lurking, Teer was glad Sirius had found Lana. The two Padawans supported each other well, quite well in fact. She hoped they would be able to settle into the happy realm of 'just friends' and remain content to keep each other company.

But that was a diversion from the real issue.

The real issue was the danger of the dark side, which her Padawan had now seen firsthand inside his mind. She was extremely cognizant of her own vision, which she carried with her every day. While she'd grown in wisdom and grace over the years, the former dictated constant vigilance over herself.

The Togruta woman turned her attention back to Sirius and gazed at him for a long second as she mentally found the words to use, the words that spoke of the dangers of the Dark Side. It wasn't exactly easy to describe something so important, so vital.

"Those who start down upon the dark path never see themselves as monsters or evil beings. There is an old expression, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions.' Never doubt for one minute that they believed in the beginning that their cause was just. The Dark Side perverts and distorts truth and justice, and grinds them down into lies and revenge. Once you've started down that path it will haunt you and destroy what you held dear.

You must always listen to your conscience to avoid this, and you must hold firm to the principles of the Jedi Order. Banish yourself from your negative emotions, and control the others. There is a place for mercy and always a place for compassion, but they can lead you astray and endanger your life. But no matter the risk, hold to your principles. Never compromise what you know to be right. You are your own best defense against the Dark Side.

I can still recall my own Trial. I was fighting a duel with an opponent I couldn't see, one who knew my every trick and tactic and could turn them all against me. We fought in the exact same way, and then I realized she was me. I was my own enemy. I learned I had to resist the darkness within myself, not by trying to eradicate it with hate but to control it with every fiber of my being. Similarly, I think your vision should show you that you must resist the Dark Side within yourself."

Teer glanced at the window one more time before turning away from it. Then the severe older woman asked him one single question in her deep voice, her accent inflecting carefully on each word.

"Are you ready to be a Jedi Knight?"

[Ghostie]

Am I ready to be a Jedi Knight?

The question was at the forefront of Sirius's mind. Was Teer asking if he was ready, as in, his Knighthood was confirmed? Or she could be asking if he thought he was ready. Was he ready. How did someone answer a question like that without thinking too highly of themselves?

He wasn't too high on confidence right now. Sirius didn't want his vision to be prophetic. If it was then no, he didn't want to become a Knight. But there was no way to tell for certain. Also, ready and wanting were two very different things.

True, he had passed his previous Trials. Sirius also believed that he had learned the lesson from his vision, about justice, revenge, and feelings. Still, how did he answer that without sounding like he had a large ego?

“I'm... the wrong person to ask that question. I've passed my previous Trials, but it takes more than to be a Knight, I think.”

So then, the question was what did it take? Skills with a lightsaber, maybe memorizing the Code? No, Sirius knew that character was what made a person. So if character made a person, and Jedi were simply people, character made the Jedi. Honesty, Integrity, Accountability, and Humility were all what it meant to be a Jedi. Sirius liked to think he had all those traits.

“I think I am. I think I've learned what I needed to from this vision.”

[Lemur, The Kool-Aid Guy]

For a very long moment, Teer remained silent. The Togruta was expressionless and still as a statue carved from some kind of garish stone, her arms folded across her breast, fingers holding on to her biceps gently.

At long last, she spoke, her voice a surprisingly maternal tone tinged with an emotion she only rarely expressed: pride. Her tone was unmistakably that of pride, an unqualified and completely sincere endorsement of what she was saying.

"I am satisfied that you have completed this Trial. The Council will be informed promptly."

The words themselves weren't a particularly ringing endorsement, but Teer Ka had never been one for gushing pleasantries or endless words of admiration. She was clipped, stern and subdued in her words, preferring to let her actions speak for themselves. When she dispensed true praise it was often overlooked by others.

For her, this was a glowing praise. He had met her high standards, and she considered him worthy of Knighthood.

If her feelings hadn't been quite clear, her actions were quite distinctly so. Teer unfolded her arms, took a few steps, and slowly pulled Sirius into a hug, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and applying a soft pressure for a few short seconds before releasing and stepping back.

"You will be a great Jedi Knight Sirius Kelrune. I have no doubts."

The Togruta woman placed her palms together and bowed her head, the regal montrals that crowned her dipping with the movement. Then she lowered her hands and looked at him with the gaze of an artist satisfied with his latest piece.

[Ghostie]

Sirius waited with baited breath. Did he say something wrong. Teer just stood there with her arms crossed for awhile, like a statue. He feared that he said something wrong. Only to learn from the lesson to screw up the debriefing. Just his luck.

Then Teer spoke. He passed the Trial. It was like a giant weight lifted off of his shoulders. No more Trials, no more braid. Sirius was a Knight now, he could chart his own course. And for one thing, he wouldn't be taking a padawan for a long time. That was a new thought, a padawan. Sirius could have one now.

He was almost bursting with joy, and then the most unexpected thing happened. Teer reached out and hugged him. Sirius was stunned at first but returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around her and applying soft pressure. They broke after a few minutes.

It was a shocking gesture from Teer, Sirius felt. She had always been a role model for him, and something like a mother. But she was never like this, never physical, even a small tap on the shoulder was something special. But Sirius wasn't complaining.

“Thank you, Master Ka. I hope I won't let you down.”

Sirius folded his hands and bowed back. It would be a lot to live up to, Teer Ka telling him he would be a great Knight. To carry on her legacy like she wanted. He hoped he was made of the right stuff. But before he began, there were a couple of things he needed to take care of.

He needed to break things off with Lana. Their relationship was going to be the destruction of them. If one of them was killed, or even if they were angry at each other, the other was going to have some serious problems. They couldn't afford attachment. Especially since he was going to go join The Blades.

But Sirius didn't worry about that right now. Those things would still be there in the morning. Right now, he had a ceremony to look forward to. A pesky braid to get rid of. He had to choose he future career, even though he already had a good idea in mind.

Sirius couldn't help but stop smiling. He had been waiting for this for a long time. Grabbing his boots, his cloak and his saber, Sirius led the way out of the chamber.

There was nothing bad to worry about right now. No bad relationships. No war. No hunting the darkside, or falling to it. The next thing he had to worry about was his Knighting Ceremony. He had been waiting for awhile and now that it was here, Sirius wasn't going to let anything sour the moment.

The End